Sing Hallelujah
by Lilothelfly
Summary: Dean has an oddly lovely dream involving Castiel. When Cas begins to act more strangely than usual, Dean needs to sort through his feelings. Castiel is hunted for his child and his mysterious new gift. Can Cas and Dean work through it, or will fate keep them apart? AU takes place after season 3. Destiel MPreg, Pregnant Castiel, Dean/Castiel. Check individual chapters for warnings!
1. Skin

[EDIT:Author's Intro: I was never a fan of this, but i feel a responsibility to you to explain a few things and give a few warnings. This fic is my brain child and ate Summer 2014. Each chapter is named for a Supernatural Episode. I also introduce every Chapter with a set of lyrics. I apologize. I initially wanted them to be Dean approved songs, but my taste in "doushey" pop music won out. Sorry Dean. I kept Toto, Whitesnake, and Bonjovi in there just for you. The "Soundtrack" will be posted on the last chapter. Some of the Angel's are OCs. That said, there was research that went into their actions. I have an afinity for angels, so there are quite a few of them. Most of them have small parts, so don't worry if you don't like OCs. Some events in this fic are semi-parallel to those in the show. I won't say more on that without SPOILERS. Some things you have to look forward to include my spin on "The End" and "The French Mistake," Lucifer, Adam, Gabriel, Anna, and Metetron. I kept things as canon as humanly possible, but its Destiel Mpreg for crying out loud, so I tried not to take it too seriously. Enjoy.

WARNINGS: Smut, Soul Sex, Dream Sex, Wet Dream (but not), Angel-Dream Sex, Anal, Fingering, Human on Angel Action, Soul Pregnancy, Mpreg, Angel Vomit, Vomiting, Creeper Cas, General Mind-Fuck]

Chapter 1: Skin

_If I needed someone to love  
>You're the one that I'd be thinking of<br>If I needed someone_

_If I had some more time to spend  
>Then I guess I'd be with you my friend<br>If I needed someone_

_Had you come some other day  
>Then it might not have been like this<br>But you see now I'm too much in love_

The Winchester brothers and Castiel were camped out in an abandoned house. The apocalypse had ravaged this little town in on the very edge of Oklahoma. The family who had lived here had no idea what had hit them… They had died quickly… Castiel was thankful for that. Jimmy would be very upset if he discovered that they were in a house where a mother, father and little girl had died and suffered… There hadn't any survivors, the angel had been sure to check. The living people were all possessed. His exorcisms had forced the demons back to hell, but the human souls had not survived. This was typically the price he knew had to be paid, but it still made him melancholy. Dean was asleep in the master bedroom. He had been out for quite some time when Castiel had sensed a fresh wave of demons invading the town. Castiel could feel them from miles away. It was early in the morning, but it was dark enough for stars to flood the sky with their cold light and for the land to seem dim, hopeless, and dark. Dean would be sleeping and Sam would be on watch right now. He had to speak to Dean. He had expressed his sincere wish to watch over Dean, but Sam had proceeded to tease Dean, who had turned crimson red. He had declared that Castiel would not need to watch him sleep seeing as that was creepy. Castiel remained protective, standing outside of Dean's window, keeping silent watch. It was during this time that he had felt the presence of the demons. Castiel did not want to wake Dean. Going into his dream would be faster. Castiel spread his smoky wings and dove into Dean's subconscious.

_Hot water ran down his vessel's skin. He found it rather pleasant. He could tell that this was not real, but the sensations were rather interesting. Intrigued, Castiel traced a hand down his other arm savoring the human sensation. _

"_Hay you."_

_The voice was soft, scratchy, and unmistakably Dean. Castiel had felt him there for a couple of seconds. Castiel did not turn. _

"_Hello Dean."_

_Castiel could feel Dean's soul before he felt the physical touch. It was light and soft. A kiss on the shoulder, lingering there. His soul was beautiful… gnarled and mangled, but bright and hot and powerful. It was all of the imperfect things Castiel admired about humanity. It was Dean. Dean…_

_Castiel Had held his soul tight to his true form not that long ago. It had fought him, burning him with its stubborn energy. It had felt unworthy of redemption and it had been consumed with self loathing, but Castiel had held the precious thing and let it burn his true form. It was a small price to pay for the ritous man, Michael's true vessel, the man who would save the world… Dean… A human with a strong beautiful soul. The human who could make any living creature long to be close to him… _

_Dean had pulled their dream bodies flush. Castiel was pleasantly surprised by the sensation of warm skin against warm skin, wet from the shower, slick from some kind of soap. Dean knew what he was doing, placing wet little kisses up Castiel's shoulder to his neck, then back down his neck and down his shoulder again. Castiel was a little annoyed at the way his vessel had begun to tremble violently. He was glad that this was a dream. If they had been awake, Jimmy would be here too… He knew the power of the human dream. Dean was experiencing him the way Dean expected to experience him, so he appeared in his vessel with all of the vessel's heart rate had jumped alarmingly and he was having some trouble keeping its breath steady. One of Dean's arms had draped itself across Castiel's chest and the other supported him by hooking around his waist. He suddenly felt small, with Dean's much larger, broader frame draped around him like this. That was silly, seeing as he was divinely powerful, but Dean holding him like this, just made him feel a little safer. Dean placed an affectionate kiss against his ear. Castiel hummed. He could feel the heat of Dean's breath and a hard, poking against his back. _

_He wanted to turn around. The first time he had seen Dean, he had pieced him together with care. His delicate human body had been ripped to pieces and it had begun to rot after four months. Castiel had made sure he had put everything where it was meant to be, atom by atom, healing as he went. Castiel had reached into dean's chest, placing his soul where it belonged. Castiel touched Dean's chest and his heart began to beat. The first time Castiel saw Dean alive, his eyes had shot open and the shade of green had startled him. They were beautiful. _

_Castiel turned in Dean's arms, savoring the slide of human skin. He almost enjoyed the way Dean's soul leaked through, burning him a little. Dean helped turn his vessel, resting his hands against the Angel's hips. They stayed there, pressing hard and they burned. Castiel hummed again, the pleasant sensations of Dean's warm body contrasted with the pain of Dean's strong soul and it was unexpectedly pleasurable. Castiel gazed up at Dean with reverent blue eyes. He had longed for permission to get this close to Dean for a long time. He rested his palm against Dean's cheek, feeling the scratch of stubble. He was feeling a little shy. The pout of Dean's mouth was so inviting and the sensation of his soul was overwhelming. His vessel wouldn't stop shaking. Timidly, Castiel stood on the balls of his feet… The first little kiss was soft, sweet, and timid. Castiel was not sure what he was doing, but he had watched humans for long enough to know the basic mechanics of their physical displays of affection. Kissing was nice, he decided. For a brief moment, Dean was kissing back, his lips pressing forward. Castiel broke away from Dean and just hovered a breath away. His lips trembled. The experience was unmistakably intimate._

"_Dean…"_

_His voice was a low and gravely whisper. This time, Dean kissed him, tilting his head just right and holding cupping the back of Castiel's head, holding him there, gentle and firm all at once. Castiel felt as if he might melt into Dean's Soul it was so hot, the water was blessed and refreshing. Castiel was limp against Dean's dream body. Castiel pressed his face into the side of Dean's throat, sighing absentmindedly. He was almost so blissful. That he didn't mind Dean's hand siding inside of him, stroking steadily and intently. It felt strange to Castiel, The little tendril of Dean's hot soul sliding in and out was almost unbearable. Castiel let out a low growl, burrowing his face into Dean's skin. He could feel the skin within the bit of Soul, sliding against his own. It was good, and it was painful. Castiel heard himself make another odd little sound, his spine arching up and backside push back. He was a little confused, but not so confused that he wanted to stop. Dean pried Castiel's face away up away from his neck, steering him by the chin. The kiss was soft, but deep. Dean was good at this. Castiel practically swooned. He rested one hand against the hand print he had made while raising Dean's soul from Perdition. Dean's soul leaked out and enveloped him. Castiel's entire vessel was glowing at this point. He let out a little wine into Dean's mouth. Castiel felt Dean smile against him as he pulled their bodies flush. Dean Broke away._

"_I think you're ready…"_

_Castiel was relaxed and open, even if his length was hard and dripping and aching. His gaze was tender as his free hand moved to rest against Dean's chest, to feel his heart beating. There was nothing more arousing than the life inside of Dean. Dean stroked a handed up and down his side, burning him with hot soul. Dean lifted one of Castiel's legs up and rested it on his hip. The shift in weight forced Castiel to lean even harder against Dean. Castiel slung his arms around Dean's neck, trusting him. Dean kissed Castiel's neck and chest. His hands supported Castiel's hips once more as Dean began to enter his body. Castiel made a quiet sound in surprise and pain. Dean's soul was connected to his now. The farther Dean's slick, heard length slid inside, the more their souls touched. Castiel almost felt that the rub of soul against soul was more erotic than the highly pleasant rub of slick skin against skin. No, not almost, it was more erotic. Dean kissed Castiel all over his face and ran a soothing hand up and down his back. He trailed little licks kisses down Castiel's stubbly throat and over his shoulder. Castiel sighed and moved his head absentmindedly, hoping that Dean would take it as an invitation. His skills at non-verbal communication were not the best, but he was working on it. It never seemed to matter with Dean though…_

"_Shit you're gorgeous like this, you know that?"_

_Castiel was very loose and relaxed at this point. He was even beginning to feel more physical pleasure than pain. Castiel made small, hushed noises as Dean rolled his hips a little. The sudden brush of their souls was so intense that he was making noises he was not aware he knew how to make. Dean was smiling, kissing him on the mouth. Castiel returned the gesture eagerly. He liked kissing. He liked kissing Dean. Dean was going faster now. His soul burrowed in and began to meld with Castiel's. Castiel trembled at the way he and Dean were touching. His pleasure was on a spiritual level. It was ecstasy. _

_Dean panted against his mouth_

"_How you doin' there Cas?"_

_Castiel just shook for a moment, letting Dean's soul tease him senseless. Then, he gave Dean another gentle, shy kiss._

"_I like the way you say my name Dean…"_

_Dean seemed to know that Castiel was about to kiss him again. He tilted his head just right, letting that timid mouth press against his. All Castiel could see were freckles and green eyes and he loved them._

"_I suppose you wouldn't mind… Doing it again…"_

_Castiel whispered, wondering why he felt so self conscious about it. Dean pressed his forehead up against Castiel's, letting the speed increase._

"_Cas…"_

_He breathed. Castiel's spine arched and he felt his wings unfurl. He dig his nails into Dean's back. Castiel's invisible wings flapped franticly as the speed became close to unbearable._

"_Dean!"_

_Two souls were literally one. There wasn't anything more intimate and intense._

"_Dean!"_

_Dean was at his throat again, causing the strangest sensation. Dean's hips had become erratic. Castiel knew from his eon of observation that this was the ejaculation which, most often, accompanied the male climax. It was wonderful. It made him feel limp, sated, and soft. He sighed._

"_Dean…"_

_The first time Castiel had heard Dean's voice, it had been the gasp of life returned. The sound Dean made as he slammed gracelessly inside of Castiel was very similar. He slowed considerably after that, moaning shamelessly. Somewhere within the sound, Castiel could hear his own muddled name. He sighed happily, feeling limp and warm and safe. Their souls were beginning to break apart. If Castiel hadn't been otherwise occupied with his afterglow, he would have noticed that a piece Dean's soul had stuck his own. It had stayed inside of Castiel while the rest of Dean's Soul had withdrawn. Castiel and Dean kissed lazily for a few moments. Dean turned off the water and gave Castiel a towel. He seemed more content than Castiel had seen him in a very long time. _

Castiel was seated on the edge of Dean's bed, watching him sleep. The events that had transpired had been one of Dean's dreams. Castiel had wanted to tell Dean something important, and then he had let Dean's soul Know his own without thinking twice. Angels did not take Knowing anyone lightly, which was possibly why he had been so inexperienced up until this point. How could he say no to Dean? He had so much faith in Dean. If there was any living being he would trust with his soul, it was Dean. Maybe he wasn't very good at making choices yet, but he didn't really regret this one. It had been a dream, so it had only lasted about twenty seconds at most. Dean opened his green eyes and sat up hurriedly reached for his gun.

"Hello Dean. What were you dreaming about?"

Castiel asked mildly, as if he didn't already know. The shadow of blush appeared on Dean's cheeks.

"Damnit Cas! It creeps me out when you do that!"

"Dean, I thought you should know that there are demons on the outskirts of town."

Dean became alert instantly, grabbing at his weapons on the headboard.

"Where? Can you take us? Have you told Sam?"

Castiel Gazed at Dean with deep blue eyes.

"No, but I will tell him now while you get ready."

Castiel stood, feeling strange. His soul was so full. It was not unpleasant, but he was not used to it. His vessel was feeling tender and he moved as carefully as he could without being too obvious.

"I'm ready, let's go."

Dean put a hand on Castiel's back practically leading him out of the room. Either Castiel couldn't hide how he was feeling from Dean, or Dean just knew. Dean powered through the abandoned house bellowing at the top of his lungs.

"Sammy! Cas says there are demons in town! Let's move!"

Sam's giant form jogged into view with all of his weapons ready. Castiel pressed a finger to each of their foreheads without warning. Warning them always took too much time and effort and then there were Dean's complaints about constipation. It was just easier to take flight. At least it _would_ have been easier if he weren't feeling quite so queasy at the moment.

Dean hated flying with Cas. It did something to his internal organs. It must do something to Cas's internal organs too. At least this time it did judging from the particularly nasty shade of pale green he had turn upon landing. Dean wanted to check on him, but Cas had landed right in the middle of a pack of demons because he was smart like that. Dean and Sam were ready, weapons drawn, when Cas made a particularly nasty retching sound. For a moment, Dean thought that he had gone blind, but then he saw the waves of light and heard the sonic boom. All of the Demons who were touched by the light were forced out of their meat suits and sent back to hell. Dean blinked, ears still ringing. He turned to look at Sam, who looked just as dumfounded as he felt. Then his eyes turned to Cas, who was hunched over, hands on his knees. He wore a squinty eyed look that only Cas could pull off.

"That was unpleasant."

Cas muttered matter-of-factly.

"_That_ was _you_?!"

Dean blurted out. Cas turned his gaze to Dean. Sapphire eyes making him squirm.

"Apparently."

Cas dabbed at his mouth with the corner of his ratty old overcoat. Sam made eye contact with Dean over Cas's hunched body.

"I think we just witnessed an angel… barfing…"

"I want to go back to the house."

Cas demanded loudly. Dean could sense a dangerous mood.

"Okay Cas okay…"

Dean almost chuckled.

The Winchesters were met by another retching sound upon landing in their abandoned house.

"I do not like vomiting…"

Cas stated as he dabbed at his mouth again. Dean couldn't help but laugh fondly.

"Not a lot of people do Cas. Here, this is something humans do when we're feeling shitty."

Dean lead Cas to the linen closet and fetched him the cleanest towel. Then he led him into the bathroom.

"You ever brush your teeth before."

"It was unnecessary."

Castiel blinked, but followed Dean with a trusting demeanor.

"Well it'll help."

Dean nodded in agreement with himself. He fished around to see if the people who lived here before had kept those toothbrushes the dentist gives you as backup. They had a whole drawer.

"What color do you want?"

"Does it matter?"

Dean tried not to roll his eyes.

"Here, just take the blue one."

Castiel held it in front of his face, inspecting it with narrowed eyes. Dean wanted to laugh again, but thought better of it.

Dean ended up showing Cas how to brush his teeth by example. Cas seemed to learn better that way anyway. Once Sam peeked in and erupted into silent giggles only to be presented with Dean's middle finger. Cas was so focused on brushing his teeth correctly that he didn't even notice.

"Feel better?"

Dean asked Cas, dawning his Winchester smile for some weird reason.

"That doesn't taste as vile."

Cas was squinting at the toothbrush again. Dean couldn't stop smiling for some weird reason.

"Kay so another thing humans do when they feel like crap is taking a shower. It gets you feeling all clean and smelling good. Basically, it's awesome."

Cas's eyes sparkled for a fraction of a second. Dean showed Cas where the shampoo and soap was and told him what to do with it. Then he handed Cas the towel and hurried out.

Castiel turned the tap to warm as was the custom. He removed his overcoat, suit jacket, tie, belt, shoes, socks, pants, and dress shirt. He hadn't noticed before, but Jimmy Novak had put on a lot of clothes that day that Castiel had taken him as a vessel. Castiel still felt raw. His reflection in the mirror showed him pink and red burn marks down his torso over his sides and on the inside of his legs. He could heal those easily, but the hand shaped burn marks on his hips were there to stay. Dean had marked his soul. Castiel was glad they were permanent. If anything, he and Dean now had matching marks, which symbolized oneness. Something akin to the human wedding ring, only it was more subtle. Castiel almost wished Dean knew that they had really Known each other inside of his dream. It had been more than a dream. For all Castiel knew, Dean thought that it had been a "wet dream" or didn't remember the dream at all. Castiel's soul was heavy and full as he stepped into the shower. The hot shower reminded him of Dean…

Dean leaned back in his chair, boot clad feet propped up on the table where Sam was typing and clicking away at his laptop.

"Hay Dean?"

Dean took another swig of beer.

"Yeah?"

Dean noted that Beer tasted shitty with toothpaste.

"What's up with Cas?"

"Hell if I know."

Dean snorted humorlessly into his beer.

"I'm serious Dean. Since when do angels just puke like that? How much time do you spend around them? I bet you hadn't seen anything like that until today!"

Dean shook his head and stared at the water damaged ceiling. He wanted to believe Cas was fine, but Sam was right.

"I'm guessing you're already being my nerdy sidekick and researching this shit?"

"As we speak Dean, as we speak."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

Dean drained his beer can and lobbed it to the trash can across the room.

"Oh yeah!"

Dean fist bumped the air.

"Dean, come look at this."

Sam, who didn't even notice Dean's little victory celebration, waved his brother over.

"There is a kind of Angel Immune Disorder where, if they stay in their human vessel for too long. The human immune system attacks their Grace. The Grace is strong, but after a while, angels start to show symptoms, break down you might say."

Dean frowned. Sam's eyes were wide and worried.

"I'll call Bobby, see if he has something in that library of lore that could help us-"

Sam broke off as footsteps echoed down the hall. Cas entered looking clean and content. The corner of his mouth had twitched upward and his eyes were soft. He settled down on the couch.

"Hello Dean…"

Cas leaned back and closed his eyes.

"Hello Sam…"

His skin was a healthy shade of pink. Dean and swore that Cas glowed faintly

"How you doin' there Cas?"

Dean's voice came out a little more low and hoarse than he had meant it to.

"I feel much better… Showers are… pleasant."

Cas's voice was quiet and Dean could barely hear it over Sam's typing.

"Sam, that bottle labeled "conditioner," I used some. I hope that's alright."

Sam nodded without looking up.

"It's cool."

Sam muttered.

"I'll be right back."

Sam squeezed Dean's shoulder and pointed and a little window on his laptop screen. It read 'calling Bobby, sent out some emails to other hunters.' Dean sighed and placed his feet on the ground. The scar where Cas had burned him was tingling, but he was always in some kind of pain so he ignored it. Dean Plopped down on the other end of the couch. He wanted to see if he could make the TV work. As he clicked to try to find a station that wasn't just gray fog and white noise. Hopefully there would be some reruns of Dr. Sexy MD on that were somewhat coherent. A warm weight against his thigh made him jump a little.

"Uh… Cas?"

"Mm?"

Cas's eyes were closed and he looked at peace for once. His hair was dry in spite of the shower, probably due to some angel mojo or other.

"You're on my leg…"

"Yes… Is that wrong?"

Dean thought hard on that. It was odd, sure, but not wrong.

"Nah Cas. It's fine."

Cas's handprint was warm as Dean rested his free hand atop Cas's head. His untidy hair was surprisingly soft under Dean's fingers. He didn't even realize that he was playing with it, running his fingers through it, stroking a thumb over Cas's forehead and temple as he channel surfed. Dean was comfortable, stroking Cas's soft hair and listening to him breathe. Dean ended up muting the TV in order to hear it. It took Cas's quiet snores for Dean to comprehend that he was _asleep_. Cas was an Angel and should not have to sleep. This worried Dean but… Cas looked so blissful and precious. Dean couldn't bring himself to wake him. His petit little body fit on the couch like a hand in a glove. Dean hoped that Cas would be okay. Sure, he was acting strange now, and luck never seemed to go their way, but he wanted Cas to be all right. Sam's voice floated in from the attached kitchen.

"Hey Dean?"

Dean looked up, forgetting that he was petting Cas's head all together.

"Bobby is on it but he says we should take Cas to his place. It'll help him figure this out more quickly."

"How long do you think it'll take us to drive to Bobby's?"

Dean's shoulders slumped in relief. Cas would be safer with him and Bobby had the finest arsenal of knowledge and research material out there. It wasn't as if they could take Cas to some angel friendly doctor. He wasn't even sure there was such a thing.

"couple of days."

Sam shot the two of them an amused smile.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think that you two were cuddling in front of the TV."

"Well you know better, don't you Sammy?"

Dean snapped, keeping his volume low so as not to wake Cas.

"I don't know Dean…"

Sam wiggled his eye brows, earning himself a flying remote in the face.

"Okay Cas…"

Dean made eye contact with the Angel in the rear view mirror of his Baby, the '67 Chevy Impala. Cas had started vomiting pure liquid light after the way he had eaten most of the contents of the refrigerator before Dean had caught him and made him stop.

"You start feeling queasy, you let me know and I'll pull over asap. I know it isn't your fault or anything, but I don't want that shit staining my poor Baby."

Cas nodded, already looking a bit pale. Dean slid Baby into Drive and they were on they were on their way to Bobby's. They briefly turned his radio to the news. Miracles had been popping up all over the state. Not just you're run of the mill good fortune either. One man had gotten up from his table at the morgue and walked out. He had grabbed a robe, thanked the morticians, and left. A woman, who was supposed to deliver a still born, gave live birth to a healthy child. Two cancer patients signed themselves out of the hospital because the tumors were just _gone_. Everyone on the state's donor list removed themselves because they no longer needed a healthy organ. Their organ seemed to have healed over night. Crops that had died from being too close to demons had sprung to life, yielding unexpected harvests. There had been sightings of black smoke, but it was all fleeing, or going into the ground. The preachers were claiming it was the work of God. Others thought it was good luck or fait.

"Hey Cas,"

Sam addressed the Angel in the back seat.

"Do you think the Angels could be doing this?"

"I would tell you if I knew anything Sam. Dean, I need you to pull over please."

Dean barely made it on time. The Impala hadn't quite stopped when Cas propelled himself out, hacking up that liquid light. It was a pathetic sight really. Cas on all fours, Angel sick dripping from his lips. Dean noticed something strange and beautiful. A plant had begun to sprout from the light and was growing at an alarming rate. It was just like watching one of those nature shows with the time lapse pictures, but _real_. Cas squinted and tilted his head at the daisy, as if asking it what had just happened.

After a couple of days of stopping in every other town because Cas just _had_ to have another bacon cheese burger with curly fries and a milkshake (he kept drinking his AND half of Deans damn it), the three arrived in Bobby's yard. If there was one thing the apocalypse didn't change, it was the way Bobby kept the place.

"Bobby!"

The brothers bellowed, slapping Bobby in the back in a very manly hug. Castiel stood back, his mouth was full of bacon cheese burger as was his right hand. His left was full of cookies and cream milk shake. His blue eyes were attentive as he chewed slowly. His mouth was over full and he had to be careful. Bobby nodded at the angel and grunted. Cas just saluted him with his milkshake, mouth busy with chewing.

Sam debriefed Bobby on what was going on with the Angel. Dean and Cas were busy picking out rooms and unloading the impala. Cas was mostly eating, but Dean didn't seem to mind.

"You're perching Cas! Thought you said you weren't gonna do that!"

Sam heard Dean bellowing, good humouredly at the Angel who was not really helping much. He was carrying one bag and slurping his milkshake as he followed Dean dutifully. Sam turned back to Bobby. Bobby raised his eyebrows.

"Those two idjits get married while you were away?"

Bobby joked half heartedly. Sam smiled and rolled his eyes. His brother and the Angel were certainly comfortable together. Dean even let Cas steal a couple of bites of his pie at their lunch diner stop, _his pie._

"Okay Bobby,"

Sam thought it best to switch topics.

"You find anything?"

Bobby turned his back on Sam and waved his hand.

"C'mere."

Books on angel lore were stacked on the table as high as Bobby could reach and there were at least ten tabs open on his laptop.

"You boys are gonna have to help me look through all of this crap if you want a quick solution to yer problem. Beer?"

Bobby tossed the bottle to Sam without waiting for an answer.

"Your collection on Angels has gotten bigger Bobby."

Sam commented as he opened his beer and picked the nearest book.

"Yeah, Well I figured I'd need it with the apocalypse an' all. Lucifer _is_ an Angel you know."

"Cool, hey quick thing Bobby, you might have to hide your food. Cas has gone a bit… Rabid..."

Bobby nodded and they started they're beer soaked research session. About an hour and a half in, Bobby and Sam heard a crashing upstairs and Dean bellowing.

Castiel sat in the middle of the hallway, a little dazed and a lot dizzy. His shoulders _ached_ badly

"Cas?!"

Dean kneeled next to him. There was a hand at his upper back and he gasped.

"You okay?"

There was blood dripping down his spine and staining Jimmy's old clothes.  
>"I…"<p>

There was a pause. Dean shook him a little.

"Think so…"

Castiel's newly corporeal wings were covered in blood. They were 15 feet long and it had managed to knock down an entire wall of framed pictures. Castiel healed himself and slowly stands, flexing his wings.

"Hey!"

Castiel could hear Sam running up the stairs.

"What's wrong- Oh shit!"

Sam swore as his eyes fell on the fifteen foot feathered appendages.

"Have those always been there?"

"Sure Sammy, they're just so tiny we just missed them."

Dean barked sarcastically, standing very closely behind Castiel.

"It's ok Dean."

Castiel made steady eye contact with Sam.

"Yes, but they have only been spiritual echoes of the wings I have in heaven. Before now I could will them to become visible to the human eye. I suppose they look something like shadows or smoke. I showed Dean upon our first meeting in this vessel."

Castiel tucked his wings close behind his back.

"It was easier to manage them when they weren't corporeal."

Dean placed a large warm hand on Castiel's back, in-between his new wings. Castiel's over coat was sticky with cooling blood.

"Ah boo-hoo Cas, you never know. This could actually turn out awesome."

He lead the way down the stairs. Bobby had been arming the place with salt and grabbing his various guns and knives.  
>"What the hell happened?"<p>

Bobby spun around, gun loaded, and safety off.

"Cas grew actual, real wings."

Sam shrugged and picked up another beer.

"Idjits…"

Bobby sighed heavily and clicked the safety back on.

"They're actually pretty awesome…"

Dean shrugged and went to grab his beer, but it was gone. It appeared that Castiel had snatched it up and drained the last of its contents. Dean rolled his eyes, fighting a smile and reaching for another one. Cas liked beer and it wasn't as if he had any manners when it came to food or personal space or personal property. Plus, it was kind of endearing in a weird way. Cas belched loudly and muttered the words "oh my." Dean snorted into his beer before taking a gulp.

"Awesome…"

He muttered again.

Sam hid in Bobby's basement that afternoon.

"Hey Chuck, this is Sam Winchester… We uh, we have a bit of a situation here and we were hoping you might know something…"

Sam glanced up the stairs.

"Chuck… Please call us back… Bye"

Sam left a voice mail and promptly hung up on the prophet. If Chuck had seen something concerning Cas, Dean-that is to say,_ they_ would need to know about it.

"Do you have lemon meringue pie? "

Dean almost jumped.

"No son, I don't have no lemon meringue pie."

Castiel's eyes gleamed as he stared sadly at Bobby.

"That's too bad…"

Cas stared at the ceiling, pensive. It seemed to Dean, as if Cas was picturing the flakey crust covered in yellow gew and egg white fluff. That actually sounded pretty good.

"I've been thinking about it all evening…"

Cas was actually seeing the damn pie in his mind. His eyes were squinted and he kept tilting his head from side to side.

"Cummon. We'll go to the diner. I want pie anyway."

Dean took Cas by the upper arm and lead him out. Cas just stared up at Dean with pure adoration.

"Bye guys!"

Dean bellowed.

"I'll put this one into a food coma!"

Bobby and Sam sat for a couple of hours, researching and drinking. The two of them jumped as someone banged on the door.

"Hey, Bobby, Sam! Its Dean, open up!"

Sam got the door. Dean appeared to be in a good mood.

"Dude, Cas ate like four pies! It was awesome!"

Dean bellowed, not that he needed to.

"Not four Dean, three and a half. You had a half of a pie by the end of the night. I must say that I understand your affinity for pie. It is quite pleasant. Now if you will excuse me, I must vomit."

Castiel turned his back and he was gone. Bobby and Sam heard a poof like a small explosion and a muffled "Sorry!" There was a pause and then an: "I'll fix it!"

Dean leaned back and practically roared with laughter.

"Dude, he just exploded your porcelain throne Bobby!"

Dean snorted and whipped his nose on his jacket sleeve.

"Oh crap! Did it in the diner too! Had to pull some mojo and wipe the waitress's memory! Awesome! Aw jeez!"

Dean grabbed a beer and flopped down on Bobby's couch.

"You guys find anything?"

Dean flashed a charming Winchester smile.

Castiel had fixed and cleaned Bobby's hall bathroom. He had actually done a little extra tidying. He was tired, spiritually drained, but he had an internal itch, a tug. After a blurred period time, Castiel found himself nestled in Dean's bed among piles of caftans and pillows.

"Hello Castiel."

Castiel turned, unsurprised. He had felt her presence for a couple of seconds.

"Hello Anna."

He turned to meet her gaze. Anna was looking him up and down, scrutinizing him.

"I see your vessel's soul is gone."

Anna mentioned conversationally. She tilted her head, raising her eye brows.

"Jimmy has not been inside of this vessel for approximately three days."

Castiel squinted and tilted his untidy head.

"What brings you here Anna?"

"I'm proud of you."

Castiel did not know what she was talking about.

"You've begun to make your own choices."

Castiel blinked at her.

"Speak plainly Sister."

Castiel uttered in gravel tones, annoyed. Anna stood there, staring at him.

"You don't know? Castiel, The miracles, Jimmy, you're wings for crying out loud…"

Castiel blinked.

"The child, Castiel…"

Anna sighed lightly and reached out touching Castiel on the forehead.

_Castiel recognized this as Dean's dream. He sighed happily, feeling limp and warm. Their souls were beginning to break apart. A piece Dean's soul had pushed its way inside his own after he had brought Dean to orgasm. It had stayed inside of Castiel's soul while the rest of Dean's Soul had withdrawn. It rested against Castiel's soul for a moment. If he had been paying attention, he would have felt a little piece of his own gently detach from the rest and attach to that fragment of Dean's. The two had conjoined and were beginning to flourish slowly._

Castiel stared up at Anna for a moment.

"What was that?"

Castiel's eyes shone with wetness.

"Conception."

Anna finally smiled a little.

"Am I to take it that nobody explained it to you?"

She asked the younger angel. She sounded slightly less severe.

"That is how you are to take it, yes."

Castiel's eyes shift nervously. Anna explained how angels know one another via soul blending. She explained in detail how two fragments brake off to form their own entity and how an angel must nurture this new entity with their Grace. She explained to him how he must be careful with his powers because the child requires his Grace. He will exhaust resources more quickly and the child will begin to leach off of his true form if it becomes desperate (there have been one or two cases). She informed him that he was becoming more corporeal because his vessel was preparing for the coming years. Most of the changes will happen in the first couple of months though, so he shouldn't worry. Angels take a year and a half to two years to be born depending on the spiritual climate. She informed him that he needed to be extra vigilant. An angel who was expecting a child sent out waves of good energy for miles upon miles. Miracles would be occurring wherever he went. Other angels and other entities would not be far behind her. Apparently, 'Angel Radio' was abuzz concerning these miracles in the middle of the apocalypse. Anna said that the higher ups suspected something like this, so she had flown down to check on him before they could.

"Why can't I hear them?"  
>Castiel's eyes were blue slits.<p>

"I imagine it was easy for them to cut off the angels on earth when they suspected something."

Castiel looked put out, like a teenager who hadn't been sure how she got pregnant.

"Anna…"

Castiel stared at her for a long moment.

"I've never even heard of anyone giving birth."

He paused again.  
>"I thought our father just created us."<p>

Then came the question he was bound to ask.

"Was I last to be bored? Has nobody else conceived since then?

Anna gave him a very small smile.

"Yes Castiel. You were the last angel to be born."

"Why?"

Castiel's eyes were wide again.

"Why didn't anyone explain this to me?"

Anna looked disappointed. In that moment, she looked like Anna Milton, not an Angel of the Lord.

"Because its heaven Cas… You were so like a human and they were scared, so the higher up hid certain things from you, like reproduction, so that you would do as you were told. At least that is what I gather."

Her eyes were shining this time.

"Why do you think I fell voluntarily Cas?"

She took a deep breath and touched his forehead.

"Here"

She whispered.

"It's an old tradition for angels to give the unborn and the host parent of our kind a blessing."

Castiel could feel just a hint of Anna's powerful Grace flow into his vessel.

"I bless you, Castiel, and your child, that you will grow up without fear."

"Oh hey you kids started the baby shower without me! Are we doing gifts! Stopped in Japan and got you something Kiddo! Hope you like! Blessed it myself!"

The only warning Anna and Castiel had before Gabriel began to bellow was the flap of his copper wings. He lobbed a tiny bag at Castiel, but Anna caught it and inspected the contents.

"It's safe."

Gabriel didn't seem put off.

"OoPpEeNn IiTt!"

He demanded, sounding like a kindergartener at a birthday party, not an archangel giving a blessing. Castiel squinted at Gabriel before lifting a small charm from the bag.

"It's a safe birth charm."

Gabriel nodded, impressed with himself.

"You do know that I am able to read Japanese Gabriel?"

Castiel questioned squinting at the characters.

"Yeah Prego I do, but this one is blessed by an archangel so it'll actually work. I'd watch your attitude if I were you. It's a nice gift; I might just take it back if you don't like it."

In that moment, Gabriel's bitch face could have rivaled Sam's.

"I like it very much."

Castiel stated flatly. His fist closed around it, daring Gabriel to try and take it away.

"Don't worry Juno, I'm not gonna take it from you."

Gabriel rolled his eyes, almost fondly. The three angels heard someone stomping upstairs and Dean's gruff voice bellowing down the hall.

"Hey Cas, you just kinda disappeared! What's goin - oh shit!

Dean stopped at the door, leaning against the doorframe.

"Why is my room full of Angels!? Cas, what the Hell did you do to my bed?! Wait, why're you even _on_ my bed?!"

Dean pinched his pouting lips together and furrowed his brow, clearly not happy with the state of his bedroom. Castiel stared at him with that look. It was a look that Castiel saved especially for Dean; a sparkly, wide eyed, adoring and reverent, gaze that always made Dean look away. Castiel wished he wouldn't. He liked looking into those bottle green eyes.

"Look who finally decided to show up."

Gabriel chirped cheerfully. Anna's eyes darted from Castiel, to Dean, and back so quickly, that only the other angels could catch her in the act.

"Yeah, I saw it too."

Gabriel raised his eyebrows and they exchanged a meaningful glance.

"Could you two share with the class?!"

Castiel had known, but his suspicions had been confirmed. Anna had recognized the fragment of soul inside of him in relation to the one burning in the human standing before her. It made sense really. That was why his insides burned so much.

"Noooo Dean-o!"

Gabriel was positively beaming.

"It's way more fun this way."

"Screw you Gabe! Cas, what's going on?"

Anna gave Castiel a look.

"You should tell him Cas. He should know."

"I should know** what?!**"

Castiel's wings shifted uncomfortably and he clutched at a pillow that did not belong in Dean's room. Anna rolled her eyes just a little.

"Castiel is going to have a baby."

Dean smirked and raised an eyebrow at the blue eyed angel.

"So that must mean you got your V-card taken away. Nice going. Who is the lucky lady? Do angels not believe in condoms or something?"

There was something forces and fake about the elder Winchester's grin. He pulled off the snide jokes for the most part, but he couldn't fool the angels. Lucky for him, they didn't pursue it. Dean did not see Anna and Gabriel staring at him in a way that only angels can. The look had been specially picked to communicate the question; 'are you stupid?'

"… No Dean… According to Anna, I am the one who has conceived."

Dean blinked

"You're a dude."

Dean stated flatly.

"Angels are genderless Dean… We are not based on biology but on spirituality…"

Castiel sounded a little offended.

"I am neither 'male' nor 'female.' I am an angel."

Dean held his hands in front of his chest in surrender and slight amusement.

"According to Anna, Knowledge of the soul may result in conception."

Dean sighed heavily.

"Awesome…"

He mumbled.

"I'm gonna go tell Sam and Bobby you guys are here so they don't burst in, guns-a-blazing."

And Dean is gone. As soon as they can no longer hear Dean's footsteps, Gabriel let out a strange sound, not unlike a giggle.

"Ooh, Juno, Dean-o likes you!"

Anna nodded.

"Yes, well I should hope that he does."

She sighed, crossing her arms.

"You be careful Cas."

Anna's eyes burned into his soul.

"There are plenty of things who will want to hurt the two of you."

Gabriel smiled, but wrinkled his nose.

"Yah, if somebody manages to pin you down and slit you open with one of these…"

Castiel felt sick, but that was nothing new. Perhaps he should not have eaten three and a half pies. Perhaps, but he liked pie…

"I must leave you now."

Anna brought Castiel back to the present.

"Farewell sister. Thank you for the blessing."

"I will see you soon Castiel."

A faint smile ghosted across her face.

"Should you require assistance and if I am able to fly down here without attracting suspicion."

Gabriel batted his eyelashes.

"Well mischief managed! See you when I see you!"

The two angels flew off, disappearing into thin air. The rustle of their wings was a welcome familiarity. Castiel was _tired_ he just wanted to curl up in the soft pile that smelled distinctly of Dean and sleep for about two days, but the humans down stairs were waiting for him… He used his raven wings to push himself up onto his feet. He must have used his powers one too many times this evening because Dean's room swam out of focus for a fraction of a second.

"I'm sorry…"

Castiel found himself muttering hoarsely into the air.

"I'll be more careful…"

Bobby and Sam exchanged knowing looks as Dean recounted the events of upstairs.

"Too frickin strange dude…"

Dean groused after a pause.

"Like Junior, but with a scrawny Angel instead of Arnold. I didn't even like that movie."

Dean was pacing, agitated, maybe a little more than Sam thought he ought to be. Then Cas walked in.

"You look like shit."

Dean mentioned, almost in passing as the angel took a seat next to Sam on the couch. Dean's brow wrinkled and his jaw tightened. In truth, Cas did look did look pretty bad. He was pale and there were gray circles under his eyes. His blue eyes were large and blinked slowly and repeatedly.

"That is an apt description of my physical state."

Sam had seen Cas look at Dean like that many times before, but this time, he thought he might know what it meant. He was so making Dean a mix tape full of 'douche' pop songs. It was so worth the noogies and the emasculating names with which Dean would berate him. Cas may as well have said 'I love you Dean' over and over in front of God and everyone. Well, he kinda had, just with those eyes of his. Why hadn't he seen it before? How come Dean couldn't see it? Whatever. Sam would hit him with a cassette later. Sam stood with an awkward grunt. He rolled his shoulders, feeling stiff as he stretched his long limbs to the sky.

"I'll take the first shift… Cas, seriously dude, get some sleep. You really look like you need it."

The angel's intense gaze turned to the younger Winchester and he nodded once.

"Hey Sammy, hold up, I'll come with you while you scout."

Dean hadn't put his rifle down. He was ready. Sam had no argument.

"Sure. Let me get my gun."


	2. Family Matters

[EDIT: Author's note: I have a thing for wings. Its unhealthy... That is all. Enjoy.

WARNINGS: Mensions of Consuming Humans, Vomiting Blood, Mpreg, Difficulties with Pregnancy, Sick Angel, Memory of Smut, Wet Dream (But Not), Dream Sex, Dean/Cas, Sickening Cuteness, Overall Mind-Fuck]

Chapter 2: Family matters

_Settle down, it'll all be clear.  
>Don't pay no mind to the demons,<br>They fill you with fear.  
>The trouble it might drag you down.<br>If you get lost, you can always be found._

_Just know you're not alone,_

_Cause I'm going to make this place your home_

Fate hated Dean Winchester. it really was that simple. He had made sure Cas went to bed before checking Bobby's yeard with Sam. No sooner had they split up, then he ran into an demon who was wearing some poor old lady. She seemed intent on talking, not interested in violence at all. It was off, so Dean didn't kill her right away. He wanted to know what the hell was going on.

"We know what you're hiding in there Winchester…"

"I dunno what you mean you ugly bitch."

"You know, Knocked up, bun in the oven, Prego, ready to hatch? How many ways do I have to explain before you understand me you piece of filth?"

"Oh no, I get you crystal clear. What you don't get, is that he's safe! You can't touch him! We have demon wards, salt lines, hex bags, the works!"

"That's pathetic Winchester. I don't need to go inside. I'm just here to warn you that if you don't give us Angel Baby, my boss will come and he won't be as amiable. I mean, salt lines and hex bags don't even work on him, if you catch my drift."

The demon blinked, showing pitch black eyes.

"Dean?"

Dean stiffened as the low rasp of Cas's voice met his ears. A spike of panic shot through his gut. He had an overwhelming urge to protect the stupid angel.

"What is that Demon doing here?"

"Get in the house Cas!"

Dean barked at him. Fear was boiling up in his stomach. The elderly woman the demon was wearing shifted her gaze to the Angel. He still looked pretty bad, hopefully she hadn't noticed.

"Not looking so hot there, are we Toaster Oven?"

The demon positively simpered.

"I don't understand that reference…"

Cas muttered, standing firmly beside Dean, his sapphire eyes burning into the demon.

"I'm glad you're up sleepyhead. Your big brother has a proposition for you. Either you come with me, and I consider not eating your man here for Desert-"

The demon gestured lazily to Dean.

"Or you don't come willingly and you get to watch me cook him, alive and squirming…"

The demon licked her wrinkled lips.

"He's got big plans for your bad seed Castiel my love. Big plans."

Dean stepped in front of Cas, not even letting answer.

"Guess whose common to dinner hot shot? He's not going! Even if he agreed, you have three well equip hunters to contend with! I won't let him, you hear?"

Dean's chest was puffed out. One of his hands was on his salt pistol, the other on Ruby's knife.

"Cas stays with us! He's family!"

The demon rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure he is… That's so sweet… Nauseates me really… Just so you know, I was the warning shot. I hope you realize you could have saved yourselves a whole lot of trouble. So Winchester, would you like to be boiled into stew, or barbequed? That's our specialty in the pit."

Something seemed to have snapped. Without warning, Castiel's hands were upon the Demon. Her eyes and mouth burned with pale, holy light. She crumpled; eyes burnt out and body smoking. Dean stared at Cas, trying to figure out how he still had the mojo to smite. Cas's eyes were cold slits as he stared down at the demon with something akin to disgust. When his eyes fell upon Dean, however, they were large, ocean deep, old, and tired.

"Cummon Cas, let's get inside. There might be more of them coming."

Cas nodded and cleared his throat. Dean put a hand against his back and began to lead him inside. Cas cleared his throat again, more forcefully this time.

"Dean!"

Dean stopped, free hand on his gun, eyes circling Bobby's yard.

"Dude, don't scare me like that Sam…"

Dean shook his head and he saw the outline of Sam's luscious locks bouncing while he ran. Dean rolled his eyes. Sam needed a haircut _bad._ Speaking of bad, Dean's hand went cold and he heard the familiar sound of a body hitting the ground.

"Cas?"

Cas was making to most awful sound. Some kind of heaving- gasping- wrenching. It sounded wet and _painful._ Dean dropped to where Cas was crouched on all fours, shaking like a leaf.

"I'm alright Dean."

Dean saw Sam dropped to Cas's other side. He was making a concerned, puppy eyed, Sam face. Blood dripped slowly from Cas's mouth as he assured Dean that he was fine.

"No you aren't and you know it…"

Dean growled. He and Sam gave each other meaningful looks.

"No more mojo for a while Cas…"

Sam spoke with sympathy as Cas coughed up his vessel's blood. He looked so miserable. Cas closed his eyes and his breathing seemed to steady a little. He didn't open his eyes, flinch, or move at all as Dean hoist him up.

"I'll look after him for now."

Sam pinched his lips together and nodded.

"Yeah, I'll talk to Bobby…"

Dean took long strides towards the door of Bobby's place.

"Dean…?"

Dean stopped, but did not turn around.

"He's gonna be okay…"

Sam analyzed Dean's tight neck and tense shoulders. Dean didn't believe him.

"Yeah… Sure Sammy…"

Cas's body was warmer than usual. Dean wasn't exactly sure why he knew that, but that wasn't important right now. Cas was lighter than he looked. That made him easy to carry up the stairs and into Dean's room. Dean wiped most of the blood from his face with the tissue on his nightstand. Dean carefully removed Cas's raincoat, blazer, tie, socks, and shoes. He was trying to make Cas more comfortable, forgetting that Cas was an Angel and didn't really need physical comfort. Dean unlaced his boots and rolled onto the bed. He kicked at the caftans and pillows. Now that he had a moment to lie down, Dean was _exhausted_. Dean rested atop the covers, in his clothes. He hugged his chest, green eyes half lidded. Cas had watched him sleep countless times. For just a moment, maybe subconsciously, Dean watched the Angel who was lying next to him.

Dean felt warm and comfortable, almost the way he usually felt after a hookup. He would wake up under blankets and covers. It was less cushy and more slippery and smooth. He moved under the feeling. Dean reached up to be greeted by a huge black wing. It was warm and alive, filled with muscle and bone and blood. He sleepily ran his fingers through the longer feathers. A low, happy sound met his ears. Dean froze, remembering that the wing belonged to somebody and that that somebody was sharing his bed.

"… Hello Dean…"

The voice was quiet, barely a whisper, but Cas sounded so damn _happy._

"Hey there Cas…"

Dean was a little more awake now, so why was he still stroking those silky feathers. Never mind. It just felt nice. That was all. Cas's wing shifted a little and now Dean could see him. His other wing was tucked neatly on top of his back. Cas lay on his stomach, hugging a long pillow that was supposed to go on Bobby's couch. His hair was sleep tousled and his eyes were just open enough for Dean to see two sparkling blue lines peeking out between dark lashes. He looked better at least. No not just better, freaking' blissful and all glowy. Cas sighed, stretching. His back arched and his wings unfurled completely. Dean hadn't quite gotten used to how awesome they were. They stretched to the ceiling in their full glory.

"You stopped…"

Cas muttered, burying his face in the pillow. Dean didn't really understand what Cas meant at first, but then the wing came back down and rested atop his belly again. Oh shit! Cas was _enjoying_ the attention. He liked getting his wings touched and petted like some kind of pet bird. Dean wasn't sure if that was cute or stupid. He couldn't help but snicker a little

"Taught you taw a poody tat?"

Cas turned his head slowly until one half lidded eye glared at Dean.

"If that is some sort of reference Dean, you know I don't understand it…"

Cas grumbled into his pillow. Dean laughed openly, not caring if he woke anyone up.

"Yeah whatever Tweety Bird…"

He ran a hand cautiously over the feathers at the top of Cas's wing. They were so freakin' _soft!_ How could anything so mighty and powerful feel so delicate? Dean saw Cas's muscles relax and visible eye close through the corner of his eye. He snorted softly. If he ever wrote a book, it would be called 'How to Tame an Angel of the Lord' and chapter 1 would be called 'Wings and how to pet them.' In all seriousness, Dean had never seen the angel so happy. The corner of his lip had twitched up into the tiniest of smiles and, if Dean didn't know any better, he would have mistaken Cas for sleeping. Some of his feathers were out of place, tousled and messy like his hair. Dean tucked them back into place, still careful. He wasn't entirely sure how the whole nerve ending thing worked when it came to feathery appendages. Every once in a while, Cas would sigh contentedly and Dean couldn't help but grin a little. Silly angel…

"Hello Sam."

Cas mumbled. Dean's head whipped around so fast, it made his neck hurt a little. Sam was leaning against the door frame. He was wearing a look that made Dean want to shave his head while he slept.

"Hey Cas."

"How long have you been there?!"

Dean barked a little too loudly.

"Long enough…"

Dean was going to shave Sam's head in his sleep and take pictures and post them on the internet. That face Sam was making deserved that brand of punishment.

"Cas, how long has Sam been there?!"

This time Dean's voice was a little softer. Sam heard the difference and practically giggled. Cas grumbled inaudibly.

"What was that Polly Parrot?"

Dean teased before he could stop himself.

"…Didn't want you to stop… Knew you would…"

Sam looked like he was going to piss himself from the effort of not laughing. Dean decided that He would post bald, sleeping Sam on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Instagram, and anywhere else he could think of using the caption; My little Sammy, Baldness it Magic!

"I'm just gonna go make myself some breakfast…"

Sam turned and snickered all the way down the hall. Apparently, Cas was a slut when it came to his wings. That was something that Dean made note of without fully realizing it

Bobby actually looked op from his thrift store copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets as Sam entered the room, laughing hysterically.

"Jesus ya Idjit…"

Bobby bubbled as he marked his place. It had just been getting really good too. He supposed that must be what it was like having children, even children who were supposedly grown ass men.

"What's so damn funny that you can't keep yer trap shut?"

Bobby filled to Glasses of Scotch. His bottle was still half full (thank God). Sam plopped down, raising his eyebrow at the Scotch, and grinning from ear to ear.

"I knew it Bobby. I just had a feeling."

"Feelin' 'bout what ya idjit?"

Bobby didn't have the patience for this.

"Dean and Cas!"

Sam half whispered.  
>"Bobby, I knew they had something special and I though Dean was too much of a homophobe to admit it but…"<p>

Sam turned to check and make sure nobody was listening.

"But what son?"

Bobby raised an eyebrow.

"I was on my way down here and I saw Cas all snuggled up in Dean's bed. He looked so _happy _Bobby."

Bobby nodded

"Well yeah son, Cas is nuts about him."

Bobby swigged his Scotch.

"That's not the best part. You see, Cas's wings are tangible now-"

"I think I see where you're going with this son."

Bobby took another swig.

"Dean was _petting_ one of them. It was laying on him like a blanket, and he was petting it."

Bobby snorted. Now that did tickle his funny bone a bit.

"Well ain't that just the cuter than a little baby vampire..."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"I'm making breakfast, you want something?

"I'm havin' breakfast now son."

Bobby saluted the air and downed his scotch.

Sam's phone vibrated violently and he jumped, nearly knocking piles of dirty dishes to the floor.

"Hello?"

Sam sounded completely calm as he answered the phone.

"H-Hi hi Sam?"

That uncertain squeak could only be one person.

"Hey Chuck."

Sam greeted the prophet, genuinely concerned. Chuck never sounded wonderful, but he definitely sounded like shit right now.

"What's going on Chuck, are you okay?"

Sam leaned back against the cluttered counter and stared at the ceiling, eyes wide with concern.

"Sorry I didn't pick up last night. I was just um… Having one of my… uh… Prophet things and… uh… I'm freaking out okay?!"

"Chuck…"

Sam closed his eyes.

"How about you talk me through it…"

A blast of hysterical laughter shot through the phone and Sam winced.

"It's just too crazy, you know? I think I just finally snapped! That must be it! How else do you explain it?!"

Sam sighed. He just had to wait, he supposed.

"Hey Chuck, I can't help you if you don't tell me what you saw."

Sam heard static as the prophet took a deep breath.

"Okay…"

There was a shift and something like a frantic scramble.

"First I saw Dean having sex, which isn't unusual, like I see that all the time, except this time it was a little different cuz it was with Cas and I thought 'well that's weird,' and then Dean woke up and Cas was sitting next to him and they hadn't been having sex at all except for they had because Cas remembered it. Then Cas told Dean that there were demons outside, so all three of you went outside and Cas Barfed out Jimmy and a bit of Angel magic which exorcized all of the demons at once. Then Cas started feeling really gross, so Dean taught him how to brush his teeth and shower. You began to research…"

There was another frantic shuffle.

"Cas fell asleep with his head in Dean's lap. You called Bobby who told you to bring Cas to his place so you three loaded into Dean's car in the morning but Dean was nervous because Cas was vomiting liquid light and he didn't want it to stain the upholstery. While on the road he ate more than any human person is capable of eating and created flowers with that angel vomit stuff which is creepy by the way. When you three got to Bobby's you and Bobby hit the books and Cas and Dean unloaded the car, well actually Dean unloaded while Cas drank a milkshake. Once upstairs, Cas actually sprouted huge black wings covered in blood and Dean thought they were pretty 'awesome.'

Another shuffle.

Later that evening, Cas wanted pie and Dean was happy to take him. They practically bought out the restaurant's stock. Castiel's vomit caused the diner restaurant to explode, but he managed to erase enough memories for them to hi-tail it out of there without much of a problem. After Cas and Dean came back, Cas instinctively built a 'nest' out of Bobby's pillows, blankets, est. on Dean's bed. He was visited by Anna, who seemed to think he knew what was happening, but when he didn't, she explained that he had conceived some sort of soul child and she explained the angelic reproductive cycle, which is even weirder than ours if you ask me. Then she blessed him and Gabriel showed up with a gift of a 'safe birth' charm from Japan that he had blessed himself. When Dean showed up, the angels became passive aggressive, but told him what was going on. Then they warned Cas to be careful of other angels and their swords and left."

The prophet gasped for air, then continued.

"Castiel was looking really ill and you told him to get some sleep. You and Dean went out to check Bobby's property before you went to sleep, but Dean was confronted by an old woman who was possessed by a messenger demon who told him that if Castiel didn't go with her willingly, she would drag him and then she would cook and eat Dean while Cas watched. She said that your wards wouldn't work on her boss and that he had big plans for Castiel. Then Cas came out of the house all sickly looking and listened to the demon's demand, but Dean wouldn't let Castiel make the choice because, according to Dean, he is family and he was going to stay with you so the demon asked Dean how he wanted to be seasoned and Castiel smote her before anyone could blink. Then Dean started to walk him back to the house, but you ran back to them and Dean wanted to tell you what happened. Something went wrong with Castiel's Vessel and he fell over, vomiting blood, yet insisting to Dean that he was alright. You told Cas to take it easy and Dean promised to look after him as he picked him up and carried him to his room. Dean and Castiel shared Dean's bed and in the morning Castiel looked better and Dean pet one of his wings all affectionately calling him things like 'Tweety Bird.' Tell me that didn't happen Sam…"

Chuck was panting.

"I've seen a lot of crazy, but that is just too much!"

Sam bit the inside of his cheek. How many people was he going to have to not-laugh at today?

"Actually Chuck…"

Sam rested one leg atop the other.

"The wing thing literally happened right before you called."

"Oh nooooo…"

Chuck wined loudly.

"Dude, we are all so screwed, so, so screwed Sam…"

"Why Chuck, why are we screwed?"

Chuck muttered and shuffled around again.

"Here we go… You guys have to leave by sundown. Do whatever you have to do, but you can't stay at Bobby's! The Demons know that you are keeping this half angel- half human child safe and the ones working for Lucifer want to drag Castiel to wherever Lucifer is hiding. I didn't see what he wanted, but I think he just wanted the kid! Once it's born, Castiel is pretty much toast! I mean, I saw the demons come and I saw them take him, but then I woke up and wrote it all down before I got your message… You do know that the Nephilim are the most powerful angelic creatures ever to walk the Earth right?!"

"So uncle Satan might want to do some brainwashing…"

"Exactly…"

Chuck sounded exhausted.

"Dean, Cas, Bobby, pack a bag! Dean, Call Ellen! We're hitting the road!"

Chuck groaned.

"I'm hanging up now…"

It turned out that it took some persuading to before everyone was in Dean's car and on the road. Ellen had declared that she was going to slap the Winchesters the moment they set foot in her road house, but that she was excited to see them. Bobby was not excited about having to sit in the back with a morning sick angel, so Sam and Cas ended up swapping seats. Bobby had sent Cas and Dean to go grab some things from the shed and Cas had discovered a stray cat. Dean couldn't really figure out what the Angel was doing, but he just stood there chuckling to himself as Cas crouched, balancing on the balls of his feet, singing something softly in some, long dead language. He ran a strong hand over its matted fur as it purred at him, rubbing against his legs. Cas did seem to have an affinity for animals.

"This creature makes me very happy Dean…"

Dean hadn't even realized how hard he was grinning until his face started to hurt.

"Yeah Cas…"

The Cat nuzzled at Cas's opened hand.

"You make this creature happy too…"

No subtext there whatsoever… Cas picked the cat up in his arms scratching the back of its head. Its eyes were green. It had a matted, dark brown coat, and it was covered in ugly scars and little wounds.

"You can't keep it Cas…"

The sad blue eyed gaze almost broke Dean's heart, but he was a hard man to brake.

"I said no…"

The pathetic creature mewed as if it knew what Dean had said and was protesting. Dean glared at it.

"May I at least clean it?"

Cas pleaded, as if Dean were the boss of him.

"I do not like how filthy it is."

"It'll just get that way again."

Dean turned around, but did not protest as Cas followed him without letting go of the Cat. The animal had really taken to him. Maybe it could sense his holy mojo or something. Whatever.

"God did not create animals where I come from…"

Dean said nothing. He just walked. The angel perched on his shoulder kept pace with him easily.

"Whenever I am back, I find that I miss them… All things that crawl and grow…"

Dean ventured a glance sideways to see Castiel gazing out over the landscape, eyes glossy and filled with something akin to longing.

"There is a reason that this is where our father put his favorite children…"

Bobby rolled his eyes when he saw the angel cradling the fat, furry creature. He didn't seem concerned when he saw Dean and Cas disappearing into the utility room. Dean retreated some of Sam's shampoo and Cas started the water running. Castiel pet the cat on the head and it purred a little. He waited loyally for Dean. Castiel placed the cat under the warm water. It tensed up and hissed, sinking its claws into Cas's wrist.

"I do not think that is warranted…"

Castiel stared poker faced at the cat as he told it off. It mewed at him angrily as blood trickled down his hand.

"You must stop."

Castiel pulled the paw away and set it down. His blood dripped in small beads against the metal of the sink.

"I am doing this to help you."

The angel ran spidery fingers over matted fur. Brown water swirled down the drain, followed by the occasional red-orange droplets. The cat looked at him with wide green eyes as if to question Castiel's motives for such a terrible crime.

"Yes, I am aware that you are uncomfortable…"

Castiel nodded at the cat, making eye contact with the sopping creature. He had been able to sense Dean for a while, but the angel was content to let Dean stand where he was. Castiel told the animal whatever came to mind, knowing he could get his point across. The cat was unhappy, but it did not scratch him anymore and it had become more vocal, meowing loudly at the angel.

"I don't think cats speak English Cas…"

Castiel turned his head slowly to meet Dean's gaze. His eyes were as green as the cat's, but Dean's were soft and almost affectionate.

"It was worth a try…"

Dean snorted.

"Here's some shampoo. It's not cat shampoo, but we don't have any of that so I borrowed Sam's."

Castiel blinked.

"Am I to understand that when you say 'borrowed', you mean 'stole?"

Dean threw his head back and barked.

"Yeah Cas. That's what that means."

The human and the angel scrubbed and rinsed the animal in silence. Castiel mumble something in enochian or Latin if the animal grew prone to scratching. Cas wrapped the clean cat up in a towel and cradled it like a human child. It mrowled at him and began to purr. Dean thought Cas looked nice all domestic like that, he could almost pretend the cat was a baby.

"Hey guys…"

Sam poked his head in.

"Is everybody packed? We should hit the road and find a place to stop for an early lunch- is that a cat?"

Sam blinked at it. It blinked back at him and mewed.

"Yes Sam. She is a cat."

Castiel nodded at him. He was not being sarcastic, just answering the question. Sam stared at Dean.

"Whaaat? He wanted to give it a bath, I told him to put it back."

"She is pregnant with four kittens. I did not want to leave her in these conditions. I would prefer that we drop her off at a shelter… Stop laughing Dean…."

Dean had begun to chuckle as Castiel spoke.

"You didn't tell me she was pregnant Cas. What is that, some sort of mommy's intuition?"

Cas gave him a look that could have been construed as 'bitch please."

"When I touched her, I felt their heartbeats. I'm an _angel_ Dean."

It was clear that they were to locate the nearest shelter, or they would never hear the end of it from Castiel. Dean had pulled Sam aside and informed him that Cas was feeling a bit moody today. Bobby moaned and groaned and called the Winchester Brothers a couple of idjits.

The situation with Dean's Baby was a little different today. Castiel didn't want to fly, just hold the cat in its box(Bobby's hoarding habit and dumpster diving skills apparently paid off). He claimed that flying caused him to become nauseated and he did not like vomiting. Dean was driving. Bobby didn't want to ride in back next to the morning sick angel, so Cas sat in front with Dean. He seemed content there, relaxing in his seat and talking to the cat in Latin, from time to time.

Castiel dropped the Cat off at the desk of the closest humane society with Dean close by his side.

"Farewell my friend."

The cat's eyes widened and it mewed. Dean put his hand in between Cas's wings.

"Happy trails little guy."

Dean smiled at Cas lopsidedly.

"Cummon Cas…"

Dean had noticed the veterinarians staring at Castiel. They had even gone back to get the rest of the employees to that they could see the nerdy little guy in the This Is Spinal Tap t-shirt, ripped jeans, and huge wings. Dean was feeling protective again. Cas raised his head to where the receptionist was gazing at him with a dreamy look on her face. Yeah. Cas's wings were really pretty, but that didn't mean that Dean didn't have an urge to burn the place down to keep everyone from staring.

"Government gene splicing. The works. Now he rescues animals. Let's go Cas."

Dean tugged at Cas's upper arm, accidentally brushing skin. Cas seemed to get the message, nodding at Dean and following loyally. Dean had a sudden image of Cas on a leash following him like a loving pet. The thought made him flush a bit. That was inappropriate brain, stop it!

"I will put a glamour in place to hide them from all who are unaware of angels… It is the best I can do…"

The rag-tag group stopped at a mom and pop type of place. A real greasy spoon, but Cas had seen the billboard with the sign with the huge burger, fries and shake plastered all over it. Dean had seen the pure longing in his azure eyes and all of a sudden, he was the one suggesting the place like a wiped bitch. Cas's eyes had lit up and there was that twitch of the lower lip as he gave one of his tiny smiles. Dean hadn't realized that he had actually begun to do things so that he could see that little smile; like petting Cas's feathers or spoiling him with pie. It was small, but Dean could see it crystal clear and that was why it was so awesome. It didn't help that Cas had taken to pilfering his old, ratty clothes. He claimed that his tactile senses had been heightened and that Dean's clothes were more comfortable. They had gifted him a few comfortable things. He had a few lumpy sweaters from Bobby, a hoodie or two from Sam, but mostly he wore Dean's tattered and faded hand-me-downs. That morning, Cas had chosen a T-shirt that was so faded, that Sam and Dean were the only two that actually knew that it said "This is Spinal Tap." Dean's old jeans were faded and ripped and worn thin. Cas had cut holes in the T-shirt and Sam's threadbare hoodie. He looked very small in all of that baggie clothes. He looked comfortable and sleepy and Dean just wanted gather him up in his arms and burry himself in that soft warmth. Instead, he opened Cas's door for him. Sam wiggled his eyebrows and gave Dean a knowing smirk. Dean shot his little brother a pointed "shut up Sam" glare.

Castiel ordered in his words "I want what I saw on the billboard." Their waitress giggled and shook her head.

"You guys got here from the freeway exit right?"

Castiel tilted his head to one side and looked at Dean.

"Yeah."

Dean snorted from next to the angel.

"I think he means the special with the burger fries and shake."

Dean shot the woman a charming smile.

"I want that one of those too by the way."

"Okay…"

She stood close to Cas, her body a little more open toward him and she was even flashing her neck at him. Cas didn't really notice. He was just giving her a wide eyed, pleading, 'give me food' look. Dean's smile went a little lopsided.

"Stake fries of curly fries?"

Cas blinked. He glowed a little.

"I get a choice?"

The waitress giggled again.

"You are too cute!"

Dean cleared his throat.

"He likes curly fries. I like steak fries."

His tone was snippy and not usually how he spoke to women.

The waitress raised her eyebrows and bit her lip.

"okay… What kind of milkshake?"

Cas's mouth opened a little.

"What kinds do you have?"

Dean asked the question Cas didn't know to ask on his own.

"we have vanilla bean, strawberry, chocolate, cookies n' cream, cheese cake, apple pie, cherry pie, chocolate peanut butter, and mocha."

Cas's eyes were all shiny and he wasn't smiling, but Dean knew that he was so happy that he wanted to cry.

"I want cherry pie. Cas?..."

Dean gave him a soft smile.

"What is… Peanut butter?..."

Cas's head tilted a little and he squinted slightly. The waitress giggled again, eyeing Cas the way Dean eyed chocolate cream pie.

"How about you order that one and if you don't like it, your boyfriend can swap with you. Or you can share. I can bring it in the malt glass and two empty cups for the each of you?"

Cas didn't seem bothered when the waitress called Dean his boyfriend. He just nodded with this look of wonder on his scruffy face. Dean's neck and face flushed hot. He coughed a little awkwardly.

"Not his boyfriend, and you do that…"

He grumbled, not looking anyone in the eye. Sam ordered a grilled chicken sandwich with a side salad. And Bobby ordered steak and eggs.

Sam started laughing as soon as the waitress left.

"Dude, I'm proud of you! You didn't get all homophobic and deny everything!"

"Don't get so excited there Sammy…"

Dean shot daggers at Sam as he fiddled with his silverware. Sam continued to chuckle as he pulled his laptop from his shoulder bag.

"Bitch…"

Sam shot Dean an honest grin.

"Jerk."

The waitress returned shortly with trays of drinks.

"and here…"

She Cas's milkshake cup last.

"On the house cuz you're just so precious."

She gave Dean a sideways look.

"Take care of this one. He's a keeper."

"Sure…Uh…"

Dean checked her nametag.

"Tammy…"

It turned out that peanut butter was Cas's new favorite thing in the entire world. As soon as he took one sip, his eyes lit up with wonder and amazement. His reaction was so raw, that Sam actually recorded it with his phone.

"Oh… This makes me very happy…"

Cas's voice was low and thick and his eyes shone like sapphires. As much as he loved the wonderful concoction, Cas let Dean have some.

"I am going to take some of yours…"

Cas informed Dean after he had dumped some of the contence of the malt cup into his empty glass.

"I see that Cas."

Dean's grin was honest and he chuckled fondly.

"So when are you to idjits tyin the knot?"

Bobby asked, looking annoyed, but fondly so. Cas and Dean were being too cute. He wished that they would just admit that they were in love. Their souls had screwed for crying out loud. At least that was what Bobby was assuming. If Dean wasn't that kid's other parent, Bobby would eat his hat.

"Angels are not permitted to marry Bobby."

"Cuz that's the only thing off about that statement."

Dean Saluted Bobby with his milkshake.

"You cannot deny that you and I share a profound bond Dean."

Cas actually looked a little hurt.

"Can you two please take your spat outside?"

Sam moaned and sipped his water.

"We aren't having a spat Sam!"

Dean bellowed and the entire restraint went quiet.

"I raised you from hell. I do not suppose you understand how painful that was. Your soul is very powerful, like fire. I let it burn my true form Dean."

Castiel would not be steered from his thought process.

"I marked you with my true form and, pardon me if I am incorrect, but doesn't the human code of intimacy include bodily nakedness and-"

Dean wanted to disappear.

"Change of plans, we are taking this outside!"

Dean bellowed just as loudly as he had the first time. He practically dragged Cas out the door. He whirled to face the angel now that they were on the porch.

"Cas,"

Dean clenched his jaw.

"You and I are not boyfriends…"

Dean made sure to say it slowly so that the Angel didn't miss anything. As much as he liked Cas, as much as he wanted to hold him and keep him safe forever, Dean was not comfortable with the idea of an actual relationship with the angel. Cas was in a _male_ vessel. It was kind of gross.

"I know that Dean."

Cas stated matter of factly.

"I am simply stating that we have been intimate in more than one way on more than one occasion. Our bond is strong. To deny that feels wrong to me somehow."

Cas was invading his personal space bubble. He had a habit of doing that and Dean had stopped telling him to get out of his bubble for some reason.

"Cuz You're my brother Cas. "

OK, that even sounded wrong to Dean. Cas's eyes were sad as he reached out to touch Dean's forehead.

_Dean could hear the shower running. He was pretty sure that he had called dibs. _

"_Sam?"_

_Then he remembered that Sam was out for the night. Dean peeked around the corner to the bathroom door. It was half open. He pushed on the door quietly. The wiry frame of his angel was silhouetted through the shower door. Dean's face went hot involuntarily. He'd teach Cas to steal his shower. He slipped in cautiously._

"_Hay you."_

_His voice was a little more husky than usual. _

"_Hello Dean."_

_Dean slipped in close to Cas, not quite touching him. There was something warm inside of him, expanding and bubbling for his angel. Dean kissed the he's shoulder lightly. He had wanted to show affection for Cas before this point, but it felt off. Cas was in a dude's body. The body wasn't his, and Dean was not GAY. He knew that he was doing something right because the angel made a small involuntary sound. He was totally turned on by that, which was not expected. OK so maybe it had been expected… He pulled Cas flush against his own body, growling a little. The sensation of warm skin against warm skin, wet from the shower was so hot. Cas seemed to like wet little kisses that Dean was pressing up his shoulder to his neck, then back down his neck and down his shoulder again. Dean wound an arm around Cas's chest and the hooked around his waist. Castiel began to tremble violently. He was panting and Dean felt his heart pounding under Dean's hand. Apparently Cas was easily aroused. Cas felt all soft and warm in his arms. All smooth skin and wiry muscles melting against Dean's own body. Dean placed an affectionate kiss against his ear. Castiel hummed. The sound was so unexpectedly arousing that Dean's half hard length stiffened and he exhaled. Well, since it was Cas, it was ok… Just this once…_

_Dean helped Cas turn in his arms so that they could face each other. The warmth inside of him spread and pushed outside of his body. It reached toward Cas like it was the opposite pole on a magnet. Dean resting his hands against the Angel's hips. They stayed there, pressing hard into his skin. He wanted so much. He wanted… Castiel hummed again. The sound causing Dean to twitch. Castiel gazed up at Dean with starry blue eyes. It was one of those stares that only Cas gave. It was the one saved especially for Dean. It said; "I adore you. You are precious to me. I don't deserve you." Cas rested his palm against Dean's cheek, his large, strong hand was soft on his face. Cas looked so shy and it was the most adorable thing that Dean had ever seen. Still shaking, Cas stood on his tip-toes and very timidly, gave Dean a tiny, shy kiss. It was soft, sweet, and unsure. It was so cute. Cas gave him one of those adoring, starry eyed gazes. _

"_Dean…"_

_Cas's voice a was low and gritty whisper. Dean kissed Cas this time, tilting his head just right and holding cupping the back of Cas's head, holding him there. Cas was relaxed against Dean's body. Dean inhaled sharply as Cas pressed his face into the side of his throat, sighing happily. Cas's face has scruffy and scratchy and Dean actually kind of liked it. He didn't want to push it, but they were NAKED in the SHOWER. His hand trailed down Cas's back until it rested on his backside. Cas had a tight little angel butt. He savored the sensation and tried not to feel like a pervert. He shut that thought process down. He had an ANGEL in the shower. He might as well consider himself a pervert. Dean massaged the ring of muscle intently. He didn't force but still kept his goal in mind. Cas let out a low growl, burrowing his face into Dean's skin. Then Dean felt it. It was cool and smooth and begging to be touched. It wasn't tangible as far as he could tell, but the more he pressed against it with that hot energy that seemed to be drawn to Cas, the more sweet little noises Cas made. All the while, he stroked and loosened muscle. Cas let out a particularly desperate whimper and pushed Dean's fingers all of the way inside as he arched his back. Dean pried Castiel's face away up away from his neck, steering him by the chin. Dean kissed him affectionately. Cas practically swooned. Cas rested one hand against the hand print he had made while raising Dean's soul from Hell. Dean let the heat go where it wanted, to that cool inviting place. It was nice to touch. Cas could have been glowing. Dean didn't really care. Cas let out a little wine into his mouth. Dean pulled their bodies flush, barely controlling himself. He broke the kiss._

"_I think you're ready…"_

_Cas was relaxed and open and his hole was wide and ready. Even his length was hard and dripping and aching. His gaze was tender as his free hand moved to rest against Dean's chest. Dean stroked a handed up and down his side feeling smooth, wet, warmth and that celestial cool. Dean lifted one of Castiel's legs up and rested it on his hip. The shift in weight forced Castiel to lean even harder against Dean. Castiel slung his arms around Dean's neck. Dean smiled affectionately and kissed Cas's neck and chest. His hands supported Castiel's hips once more as Dean began to enter his body. Castiel made a little sound in surprise and pain. Dean couldn't really tell if he was touching hot or cool any more. The deeper in he went, the less clear it became. Damn if that wasn't hot in some twisted angelic way. Cas was beginning to seas up, which would be painful if he didn't relax. Dean kissed Cas all over his precious face and ran a soothing hand up and down his back. He trailed little licks kisses down Cas's stubbly throat and over his shoulder. Cas sighed and moved his head absentmindedly. Dean was surprised and amused by the non-verbal invitation. And well, it was hot as hell that Cas was too shy to ask him right now. Dean ran a hand over Cas's hair._

"_Shit you're gorgeous like this, you know that?"_

_Cas was very loose and relaxed again. He whimpered softly when Dean rolled his hips a little. Then it hit Dean. It was Cas's soul! He was TOUCHING IT. Dean carefully maneuvered the heat of his own so that it surrounded Cas's cool, smooth one, pressing a little. He grinned triumphantly and stole another kiss from Cas, who seemed eager to give as much as receive. Dean was going faster now. His soul burrowed in and began to meld with Cas's. Cas was trembling again, possibly from the way Dean had figured out how Cas liked his soul to be touched. He looked as if he might sprout wings and fly away. They would actually be really hot, but Dean really didn't want Cas to fly away. He wanted to stay so that he could touch them… Dean panted at the thought. He met Cas's, barely open eyes._

"_How you doin there Cas?"_

_So maybe Dean was teasing, moving his soul so that it made Cas a trembly and swoony. Cas managed to give Dean another gentle, shy kiss._

"_I like the way you say my name Dean…"_

_Dean grinned like an idiot and tilted his head, letting Cas's timid mouth press against his. _

"_I suppose you wouldn't mind doing it again…"_

_Cas whimpered. Dean pressed his forehead up against Cas's, letting the speed increase._

"_Cas…"_

_He breathed. Castiel's spine arched. He dig his nails into Dean's back as the speed became close to unbearable._

"_Dean!"_

_Cas cried out his name. Dean could no longer tell his own soul from Cas's and it was driving him crazy. _

"_Dean!"_

_He was at his throat again, sucking and biting because this just felt awesome! His movements were no longer steady. He was going to cum! Dean just kind of made a lot of shameless noise. He thought he might have said Cas's name, but he wasn't sure._

"_Dean…"_

_Cas let out a quiet whimper. He went limp and soft. Their souls were beginning to break apart. Dean didn't know any better, but a tiny piece of his soul had stayed inside of his angel. He and Cas kissed lazily for a few moments savoring the affection. Dean turned off the water and gave Cas a towel. He was content. He had his angel… There was nothing wrong… It was Cas…_

Dean blinked. Cas's crystal blue eyes stared back at him. They were as deep as the ocean and so sad right that second.

"If I am not mistaken, human brothers do not engage in such acts of debauchery."

Cas was still feeling a little hurt.

"I do not expect you to have any sort of feelings for me Dean. That would be unrealistic. I just want you to understand where I am coming from. That is all."

Cas's voice was matter of fact and detached. Dean shifted uncomfortably under the angel's soul penetrating stare. His angel… He had felt that way in his subconscious. That didn't mean he actually wanted to screw Cas. Maybe he was just thinking about their bro-mance… But Cas had actually been there and they had enjoyed each others' bodies. This time Dean was staring, but Cas was up for the challenge. His wings rustled and he extended them a little, shaking out his raven feathers. Dean's hand twitched and he had an urge to run his hand through them. He wanted to be buried in warm feathers and softness. Yeah. Maybe he and Cas weren't brothers after all…

"Cummon Cas…"

Dean whispered.

"Let's go eat… You look hungry…"


	3. There Will Be Blood

[EDIT: Cas is a strong, independent, black woman and you will treat him with respect!... I'm done being special. Keep this chapter name in chapter 4 as well. I'm actually being serious. Its important. Enjoy!

WARNINGS: Mpreg, Pregnant Castiel, Biblical References, Overprotective Dean, Pissed Off-Cas, Sickening Cutness, Lucifer, Biblical Omens, Overall Mind-Fuck]

Chapter 3: There will be blood

_I seek to cure what's deep inside  
>Frightened of this thing that I've become<em>

_It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you  
>There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do<br>I bless the rains down in Africa  
>Gonna take some time to do the things we never had<em>

It was early evening when the Impala passed over the state line of Nebraska. Dean had _You Shook Me All Night Long_ by AC/DC on a little too loud for Sam's liking. Cas had discovered Goobers (peanut butter and jelly pre-mixed in a jar) and was devouring jar after jar as if he would never eat again. Dean was honestly a little worried that Cas would get it all over the upholstery, but the angel was very clean, closing and bagging the jars when he was done. He would wipe his hands and face with napkins before discarding them in his trash bag as well.

"I understand the human affinity for peanut butter and jelly now…"

He leaned back contentedly.

"It is rather delightful…"

Dean laughed. Someone in the back seat joined him. The sound was high pitched and jarring. It didn't sound like Sam and it definitely wasn't Bobby.

"Hi kids!"

Dean felt like he was about to drive off his Baby off the road into a corn field. He managed not to (thank God, poor Baby). Bobby and Sam clung to their doors, guns drawn.

"Re-lax!"

Dean checked the rear view mirror. A young man was perched in the middle seat. His hair was bleach blond and his skin was tan. He wore a wife beater tank top and board shorts with no shoes at all.

"It's all right. This is Sandalphon, one of my elder siblings."

Sandalphon waved at the human emphatically.

"Hi. One of his eldest I should say. My Goodness Castiel, when did you get so grown up! Just yesterday he was a dinky ball of light, I swear! So cute!"

Castiel blinked.

"I do not believe that we grow Sandalphon."

"Psh! It's a figure of speech I picked up from my vessel's family. By the way, Doug says hi and he thinks that its "totally wicked sweet" that you are having a baby."

Sandalphon giggled again and Bobby covered his ears, looking cranky.

"Oh, and you are bigger, just by the way."

Sandalphon continued to giggle, tracing Castiel's true form with his finger.

"And you'll just keep getting bigger! Good thing your true form is the size of the human Kreisler Building! Gotta make room for all that creation!"

Sandalphon slapped his knee as if he had made a hilarious joke.

"May I ask why you are here?"

Castiel asked as he opened up another jar of Strawberry Goobers. Sandalphon pouted.

"Aw, you know my job description. Give babies a sex, bla bla bla! I usually just touch a human and leave, but your special cuz you're the baby of the family. I decided to hop into my vessel and say hi!"

Sam raised an eyebrow at the archangel.

"Relax Mop Boy, he doesn't mind. I'm not in here ALL THE TIME!"

Sam ignored him the way he tended to ignore Gabriel. Castiel wedged his plastic spoon into a section of peanut butter and made eye contact with his elder brother.

"So I assume you have chosen a sex for my child?"

Sandalphon nodded. He reached forward and pressed two fingers to Castiel's forehead. Castiel welcomed the little tendril of Grace.

"So what is he having?"

Dean couldn't help but be curious. Sandalphon threw his head back and cackled.

"Not telling!"

The four heard him spread his wings and he disappeared. Dean pursed his lips and flared his nostrils.

"Angels man…"

Castiel placed the filled spoon in his mouth and shrugged. Dean proceeded to tell Cas all about Ellen and Jo with punctuated remarks by Bobby and Sam. Castiel liked them already. Any friend of Dean's was a friend of his, at least for now.

"What does 'Jo' stand for?"

Castiel asked through a mouthful of sticky sweet Goobers.

Sam looked up from his book.

"Joanna Beth."

He answered simply.

"Oh…"

Castiel liked his spoon, pensive.

"You have a strange gender duality… Men and women must have different names. If a man is named "Joe" it stands for Joseph, where a woman will stand for Josephine or Joanna…"

He actually looked interested in what he was saying, so Dean pretended to care.

"Well yeah…"

"Angels do not have gendered names. We are all given a name that represents a quality of our father. 'El' is a suffix in Latin which means 'of God.' Almost all of our names share it. Lucipher, Sandalphon and Metatron do not, but they are archangels and, therefore, they were given names first. We don't really give each other names either. We just know… I woke up and knew that I was Castiel…"

Castiel's spoon hung in mid air as if he had meant to use it, but had forgotten about it.

"So strange…"

It was after midnight when the motley bunch arrived at Ellen's place. Sam had called ahead to let them know that they were an hour out and Dean had woken Cas. Cas had been all cocooned up in his wings, snoring quietly. It was actually kind of sweet. Dean laid a hand on one of the wings, patting it.

"Meep meep Road Runner. Time to wake up…"

For a moment, Dean thought Cas was still sleeping, but then he heard the scratchy voice, muffled by wings.

"Is that another reference?"

"Yah Donald Duck, it is. Now wake up. We're at Ellen's."

Cas unfurled his wings slowly and sighed, stretching. Dean opened his door for him, which had become a habit. The angel gingerly eased out of Dean's car. He was stiff and he had a headache. Castiel remained composed as he straightened Jimmy's old trench coat. Bobby and Sam flanked the couple as they walked to the door. Ellen and Jo were already there. Ellen in a robe and Jo in pajama pants covered in some kind of cartoon character and a graphic tee. Jo gave Sam, Dean and Bobby a big hug.

"Boys…"

Ellen approached the Winchesters. She grinned.

"Learn to pick up the phone Winchesters! You may just worry me to death!"

Without warning, she slapped Dean. Castiel did not mean to, but something happened. Ellen was thrown against the wall and held there.

"I am sorry…"

Castiel mumbles and let her go. His wings rustled together nervously. He had not made a good first impression. They would throw him out…

"Dean has told me that I am a bit overprotective…"

Castiel hugged his coat tighter around himself. Ellen actually laughed.

"Dean, Sam, introduce me to your… charming friend!"

She held out her hand.

"I'm Ellen Harvfel. This is my daughter Jo."

"This is Castiel, Dean's boyfriend. He's an angel."

Sam smiled wickedly as Cas shook Ellen's hand.

"Of the Lord."

Castiel added. Dean was bright red and spluttering. He kept trying to but in, but couldn't get a word in. Ellen grinned in the insufferable way that mothers sometimes do.

"I am honored Castiel… It's nice to know that someone is looking out for my boy…"

Ellen winked at Dean. Jo was wiggling her eyebrows excessively. Cas either didn't notice or didn't care.

"It is nice to meet you. Dean has told me much about the both of you. I am sorry again for the bodily treatment Ellen…"

Castiel let his tense wings relax a little. Jo wandered over to them, admiring the glossy raven feathers.

"They are so pretty!"

Castiel swelled with pride. The corner of his lip twitched and he gave a small smile.

"Thank you Jo…"

Dean pouted.

"Jeez Jo, there are plenty of angels! Get your own!"

Castiel squinted up at Dean, cocking his head just so. Dean turned from fire engine red, to deep rose.

"I'm getting the bags!"

Dean marched off in a huff, face and neck hot as Hell fire.

Castiel was in Ellen's kitchen with a glass of milk and these beautiful creations that Jo called "Nutter Butter cookies." Castiel closed his eyes as he chewed, sighing happily.

"So how did you and Dean meet?"

Jo seemed awfully interested in his relationship with the elder Winchester. It wasn't as if he cared. He was happy to share.

"I pulled his soul out of Hell."

Castiel stated simply before taking another bite out of his cookie and moaning loudly.

"These are delightful!"

Jo just stared at him with her mouth hanging open.

"DEAN was in HELL?"

Castiel stared into his milk. He really didn't want to talk about it all of a sudden.

"For four months… I am not a high ranking angel by any means, so it took months… I wish we could have gotten him out sooner…"

Castiel's voice trailed off and it seemed to Jo that he was staring off into space.

"Uh…"

She cleared her throat awkwardly.

"There is another angel in this house…"

Castiel stood carefully, joints popping.

"I must go meet them…"

Jo just sat there. It appeared that angels were weird… Castiel made to leave, then doubled back and grabbed the pack of Nutter Butters. Jo could hear the pornographic moans and a resounding.

"Delicious…"

Sam entered the same way Castiel had left, chuckling and looking over his shoulder. Jo raised an eyebrow.

"Is he weird or is it just me…?"

Sam took a seat and grabbed the Oreos that Castiel had left behind.

"He's actually one of the least weird if you can believe that…"

Sam shook his head and chowed down. Jo sighed and stood up.

"I'm getting milk. You want milk?"

Sam shrugged.

"Sure."

"Hey, is he sick?"

Jo's mother made herself at home next to Sam.

"Who's sick?"

She demanded.

"Dean's angel."

Jo answered her mother without waiting for Sam to answer. She handed Sam his milk.

"You want milk mom?"

Ellen shook her head.

"What's wrong with blue eyes? He looks healthy to me."

Sam, who had been busy choking on an Oreo, raised a finger.

"Nothing is really _wrong_ with Castiel."

Sam swallowed.

"Ellen, you remember that time you were sick and then nine months later, Jo popped out?"

Both Ellen and Jo gave Sam looks that were meant to mean 'you have got to be shitting me.'

"Apparently, it takes like two years when you're an angel, sometimes longer if you are in a vessel."

Ellen pressed her lips together.

"What do you mean Sam? Spit it out."

"Angels have to take a human body. Apparently Cas's 'true form' is this huge soul thing with wings. If he were in that form and not inhabiting this human one, it would take less time."

Jo stared at Sam wide eyed and open mouthed.

"How do you know all this stuff?"

"Well, there are the angel Anna, the archangel Gabriel and the prophet Chuck..."

Sam wiped his face with his hand. He stood up and knocked on the table.

"I'm going to bed…"

Sam turned around only to nearly run into a shorter man who was not Dean or Cas. He was grinning wickedly.

"Hiiiii Kiddo!"

Sam jumped and his long limbs nearly smacked Jo and knocked over a chair.

"Damnit Gabriel!"

Gabriel Cackled obviously pleased with Sam's reaction.

"Ellen, Jo, this is the Archangel Gabriel. Don't believe the scriptures, he's a piece of work."

Gabriel waved at them, wearing his cutest smile.

"Who me? Why Saaam I'm offended."

Gabriel giggled at his own sarcasm.

"So aaaanyway, the reason I'm here is there are Demons gathering. I mean butt loads of them. Methinks El Diablo has something to do with it."

Sam pulled his chair out and made to sit, double checking that it was still there before he shifted body weight.

"Oh Sammy you are so trusting."

Gabriel threw Ellen a 'see what I have to deal with' look.

"You've done it before… So why are you telling us?"

"Cuz…"

Gabriel snapped his fingers and a jumbo Twix appeared in his hand.

"The youngest of the angels is _here_ and he's got something Luci might like to have. You know Nephilim are kind of the most powerful things around. There are going to be all sorts of beasties after Dear Baby Brother now that he's wearing a neon sign."

"Is someone going to explain why I may have an army of demons on my front porch?"

Ellen barked, sounding irritated. Gabriel swallowed a bit of his Twix.

"Cassie causes big miracles. I mean, he can't really help it, but he is drawing a bunch of arrows to his current location. If he moving stops to long, somebody is going to try to snag him or kill him. That kid is going to be super powerful and last time there were Nephilim around, it didn't work out too well."

Jo went white as a sheet. Sam huffed unhappily.

"Alright… I guess I'm making coffee… Any suggestions?"

He gave Gabriel a sideways look. Gabriel shrugged as he finished chewing.

"Demon ward the place. Arm yourselves. That's about it. Deanie Weenie has an extra Angel Blade. That is gonna have to be it if Lu shows up. It's not as if you can angel ward the place unless you plan on kicking Cassie out too."

Castiel made his way to the front door, stuffing his face full of cookies as he went.

"Really Castiel, consuming chemicals and lying with humans? Is this what you have come to?"

A deep female voice echoed from the doorway. Castiel froze mid chew. He stood for a second before swallowing.

"Hello Ariel…"

He turned to see a woman who could have been Japanese or Hawaiian. She leaned against the door, arms crossed and face sour.

"I wouldn't have come, but I am not one to pass on such an important tradition as the blessing. Besides, I had to talk to you."

Castiel set his cookies aside, nodding.

"I understand. Not everyone is going to approve."

"I disapprove Castiel. This union and its spawn are unnatural. I was ready to cut your vessel open and drag you home."

Castiel stiffened, wrapping his arm around his middle defensively. His mind went to his blade in case he needed it.

"Calm yourself Castiel. Raquel talked me down."

Castiel did not relax. She un crossed her arms and took a step toward her younger brother; He stiffened and assumed a defensive position.

"I do not intend to harm you Castiel. I will give you my blessing and be on my way. Be aware, however, that if another seeks to harm you or the blasphemy inside you, I am not the one to turn to. You will not find help here, little brother."

Having said her piece, Ariel reached out and touched his forehead.

"I bless you Castiel and you're… child, that it will be beloved by all animals on earth."

Ariel sighed heavily as she let her powerful Grace flow into Castiel.

"Farewell brother."

Castiel watched Ariel's strong, pale salmon wings stretch wide before she flew away. They glowed as soft, pale pink in the dark hallway. Castiel leaned back against the wall, staring listlessly at the place where Ariel had been. The more angels Castiel encountered, the more his heart ached for home.

"Hey Cas, You are being summoned to the kitchen!"

Castiel heard Gabriel's voice. He fetched his cookies before making his way back to the Harvfells Kitchen. Sam, Ellen, and Jo all sat around the table. It was starting to get cramped. Castiel took a seat, careful that his wings did not knock anything over.

"What did The Lion Queen want?*"

Gabriel asked. Castiel tilted his head, a perplexed expression on his face.

"You know, The Little Mermaid?"

"Speak plainly brother."

Castiel was growing impatient.

"Ariel."

"oh…"

Castiel picked up a peanut shaped cookie and stared at it with crystal blue eyes.

"She informed me that she would not harm me. She also stated that she would not stop anyone else from doing the same. Then she gave me her blessing and left. Where's Dean?"

Castiel devoured his Nutter Butter, keeping eye contact with Gabriel.

"Keeping watch."

Castiel nodded.

"Gabriel, if you are here, either someone needs help parenting, you have a message, or you are about to play a prank…"

Castiel's angel gaze bore into his elder brother.

"Which one is it?"

"Message…"

Gabriel looked unhappy.

"Old habits, you know… There is a fat stack of demons gathering in one place, drawn by a power. I think it's Luci. Sammy told me that you and Deanie were visited by a messenger of Lu's wanting you to surrender. Correct?"

Castiel nodded, feeling very cold all of a sudden. The new soul burned hot inside him.

"Well anyways, I think they are close. Arm up. Ward like hell. Stay safe Cassie cuz Luci Lu wants you."

Gabriel waggled his finger.

"Now if you'll excuse me…"

Gabriel spread his wings, Copper to Castiel's angel eyes. Gabriel snapped his fingers and he flew off.

Castiel sighed and stood.

"He does not like to get involved very much…"

Castiel touched both Ellen and Jo and they gasped. It must be an odd sensation, having writing carved into your bones.

"Sam will explain…"

Castiel swept out of the room to find Dean. They needed some special weapons and material for hex bags from the Impala.

"No Cas!"

Dean bellowed gruffly as he pulled some salt guns from the trunk of his baby.

"You can't fight! It's a bad idea! I won't let you!"

Castiel narrowed his eyes and stepped into Dean's space, eyes narrowed and burning with the hottest blue fire. It took him a second, but Dean froze when he saw them.

"What makes you think that you have any power over me Dean?"

Cas's voice was low and he was almost growling. It kind of reminded Dean of the time when Cas had threatened to throw him back into Hell. 'You should show me some respect…' he had said in that same scratchy growl. This was just as scary.

"I am an angel of the lord Dean… You do not wear any sort of crown that allows you to 'let' me do anything."

Cas was really mad. Dean might be imagining it, but Cas seemed to be glowing… a lot!

"I fight for myself and I fight for this new life that I have created. Do not attempt to stop me."

Cas stuck his chin up stubbornly before he swept into the building, wings half unfurled like an angry vulture. Dean winced as the door was slammed shut.

Dean turned back to his Baby. Had they just had a spat?

Castiel swept inside. Unbridled power leaked out of his vessel. He was literally boiling over in anger. He walked into the kitchen, china and glass exploding in his wake.

"Holy Crap!"

It was Bobby. Castiel stood in the middle of the room, wings outstretched and Grace showing out of his eyes like stars.

"Do not be alarmed Bobby…"

Castiel inhaled power and Grace back into his vessel.

"I am merely using this vessel best I can to express emotion…"

Ellen appeared in the doorway.

"Well use your vessel best you can to clean up that mess you made of my kitchen!"

Castiel had taken a long time to clean. He did not want to deplete his Grace in case the demons and Lucifer decided to show up. He reached out with a bare hand to scoop shards of porcoline and glass.

"Ouch…"

Castiel muttered, watching his skin knit together.

"You have to use a broom or something…"

Castiel looked up to meet Dean's bottle green eyes. He didn't have to speak. There was a small, grin, all askew on his stubbly face. His eyes practically begged for Cas to stop being angry with him.

"What happened? Sam take up gymnastics in here?"

Castiel's lip twitched.

"The phrase "lost my temper" comes to mind…"

Cas's blue eyes stared into Dean's soul. They were deep, old, and melancholy.

"You should show me more respect Dean… At least treat me as an equal, no matter that I am much more than that…"

Dean handed Castiel a broom.

"Thank you Dean…"

Dean shrugged and turned so that he did not have to look at Cas as he spoke.

"Look, Cas, I know you're gonna do whatever you want… If you want, we can fight together… Ya know… Back to back?..."

Dean scratched at his chin, feeling the nervous butterflies of a teenage boy asking his crush on a first date. It was stupid really.

"There is nothing I would like more than to keep you safe. If you would like to think of it as protecting me, you may."

Dean turned around to see an unreadable look on Cas's face. His eyes sparkled. He did not smile, but his wings relaxed happily. Dean had an urge to touch him, but thought it inappropriate. Maybe…

Castiel and Dean cleaned and warded the kitchen and adjacent hallways together. Dean was nervous about what was taking the Devil so damn long. What was he waiting? Was it his strategy? He had to keep Cas close… They stood and assisted Castiel to his feet. Castiel did not let go.

Sam was out lining the doors and windows with rock salt.

"Hello Sam."

Sam whirled around, drawing Ruby's knife.

"Sam, Sam… I'm not going to hurt you…"

A man with hollow eyes and open soars on his face stood perfectly still.

"My name is Lucifer. It's a pleasure to meet you in person."

Sam's face contorted into a snarl.

"What do you want?!"

"A 'yes' from my vessel…"

Lucifer stated simply. He shrugged and smiled placidly. Sam was actually taken aback.

"What about that poor sap you're wearing?"

Sam asked accusatorily. Lucifer tilted his head, reminding Sam uncomfortably of Cas.

"Nick will due for now… but he will not last… He is not my true vessel…"

Judging by the state that Nick was in, He was about to keel over.

"I need you Sam."

Sam stared, eyes wide, not wanting to believe, but somehow, he had always known it was true. He had always known he was different, a freak.

"No."

Sam choked rather than spoke. The hand that held the knife was shaking.

"That's too bad… It would have been so much easier to whisk my baby brother away without hurting Dean while wearing you… "

Lucifer tilted his head the other way.

"Oh well… We'll do it the hard way then…"

His voice was calm… too calm… Lucifer snapped his fingers and there was a flash from the sky. The clouds began to turn from grey to brown. Then from brown to maroon.

"Dean!"

Sam threw caution out the window.

"He's here!"

There was a sudden and violent downpour. It wasn't just rain. It was red rain. It was thick and dark and stank of pennies. Blood. Sam's mop of hair lay flat against his head and neck.

Dean was there and so were Cas, Ellen, Jo, and Bobby. Lucifer didn't look in any mood to fight. He just threw them all a shallow smile.

"Well, look at this. I haven't thrown this kind of party since after Sodom and Gomorra…"

His eyes lingered over Dean before landing on Castiel. Their hands firmly clasped

"How sweet."

He sounded almost bored.

"What do you want Lucifer."

Castiel's deep growl contrasted with Lucifer's drawl.

"For you to come with me. Don't make a fuss. I'd hate to have to hurt you. You are the youngest. It wouldn't even be in good sport. No fun at all."

Castiel's wings flapped once. His jaw was set and stubborn.

"You and I both know that that is not how this is going to work."

Lucifer shrugged.

"Okay…"

And there were demons! Demons everywhere! Castiel and Dean were back to back. Castiel's blade was drawn and so was Dean's extra. Ellen and Jo fought Back to back as well, guns loaded with salt pellets. Bobby and Sam watched each others' backs. The Demons did not seem terribly interested in hurting Sam or Dean. They kept laying their grubby mitts on Cas who stabbed and slashed with heavenly speed. Dean soon realized that Cas's wings were an awesome weapon. They swept demons aside with incredible muscle or threw them around with gusts of wind. The flapping combined with the bloody rain made it difficult to stand on the slippery red mud. It was almost beautiful watching him fight like this, not that Dean had much time. He was too busy stabbing the assholes rushing Cas to really pay attention. It was better if they did not fight back to back. Freeing Cas's wings. He stayed close, but not close enough. The demons had gotten smart. Many of them had latched onto his wings, dragging him down, slowing his pace.

"Cas, hold on!"

Dean barked, trying to get to his angel and get those ugly sons of bitches off of him. There was a whole new pack of them rushing him, keeping him just out of reach. Cas was on his hands and knees, weighed down by too many demons to count.

"Dean!"

His blue eyes were wide and frightened. Their fingers slid over each other in a slippery, blood soaked frenzy.

"Cas, hold on!"

"Dean!"

Dean was blinded by a flash of white light. Then all was horribly still. He lost his balance and slipped into the mud.

"Cas?!"

There was so much blood in his eyes. Dean howled at the sky. Cas was gone.


	4. Torn and Frayed

[EDIT: author's note: I am very proud of this chapter. The blood idea was based off of Dead Mans' blood for Vampires combined with Sam's Demon Blood. If you haven't cought onto this, Cas's baby needs a steady stream of Grace, so his powers are limited. If I had to explain that I guess I suck at writing after all. There are going to be some really characteristicly Supernatural WTF moments. I appologize for nothing.

WARNINGS: Kidnap, Torture, Mpreg, Pregnant Castiel, Temporarily Pregnant Dean, Drugged Castiel, Poisoned Castiel, Sick Castiel, Mind Fog, Alchoholism, Anger Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Problems with Pregnancy, General Mind-Fuck]

4: Torn and Frayed

_I should have known better than to let you go alone  
>It's times like these I can't make it on my own<br>Wasted days and sleepless nights  
>And I can't wait to see you again<em>

_I find I spend my time waiting on your call  
>How can I tell you babe? Back's against the wall<br>I Need you by my side to tell me, "It's alright"  
>'Cause I don't think I can take anymore<em>

Castiel was half conscious. He could feel the iron, hot against his skin. The child inside of him was restless. His stomach burned the way Dean's soul did when it touched him. He was weak. He reached for his Grace, but it lay dormant inside him, unmoving, dark, and cold… His heart was pounding as he slowly raised his head.

"Good morning brother…"

Castiel couldn't see. Everything was fuzzy. He blinked rapidly, but it didn't work.

"Tell me how you are feeling. I am in the middle of an experiment… You see, I have found that the intake of monster blood has a special effect on our kind… It is different depending on the monster. You look awful… This is vampire. What kind of effect is it having?"

Castiel's vision went completely white as his nerves lit up like they were on fire. He struggled, but he was restrained with iron chains. It felt like something was scraping at his insides.

"Why?"

"What effect is it having?"

Lucifer waited patiently.

"I'm on fire…"

Castiel's eyes were glazed over. His elder brother was torturing him… He couldn't think…

"Why brother?..."

Castiel rasped out.

"Well I don't owe you and answer for one, but since I actually give them instead of expect you to blindly except me, I'll give you one."

Castiel heard the sound of a chair or stool being pulled up.

"You won't let me do what I want little brother."

Lucifer sounded closer now. Castiel focused through the pain, which had intensified.

"I want that precious Nefilim inside you and you just had to sink your claws in kicking and screaming. The pain will continue Castiel, only if you continue to say no to me."

Castiel's head dropped back to his chest. It was too heavy…

"In the words of the one I love…"

Castiel ground out, gritting his teeth.

"Bite me…"

Castiel could feel the vampire blood poisoning him. The heard something rattle next to him and a rush of fire into his arm where the needle was resting.

"Wrong answer, just upped your dosage. Now, this is going to be very unpleasant, seeing as how we haven't built up your tolerance yet."

Sam blinked rapidly. There was Blood-rain in his eyes and he was seeing spots. He could hear Dean howling in torment. Maybe he was hurt! That did not sound right somehow… Lucifer had told him that he did not want to hurt Dean. Something smelled off about that, but somehow, Sam believed him.

"Dean?!"

Sam blinked, the better to see.

"Bobby?! Cas?! Jo?! Ellen?!"

Sam squelched gracelessly to his feet as he called out for his family. He could see everything now, but in different shades of red. It was better.

"Right behind ya son!"

Sam reached out and helped Bobby to his feet.

"Ellen?! Jo?!"

"We're here!"

Sam nearly tripped. It was a demon. All of the demons they had been fighting were now corpses. Lucifer must have no more need for them.

Bobby helped Ellen and Sam helped Jo once they finally found them.

"Dean?! Cas?!"

"CAS IS GONE!"

Dean's voice was downright dangerous.

"That son of a bitch took him!"

Castiel was not aware that he could scream that much. Maybe somebody else was screaming because that retched sound couldn't possibly be coming from him. Not until blood welled up in his throat and the screaming stopped was he sure that that agonized sound had come from his poor vessel's vocal chords. He realized that his true voice had been present as well when he opened watering eyes. Lucifer's guards were scattered all over the floor, their heads haloed with pools of blood. Castiel was limp. He coughed weakly and a copper taste met his tongue. A warm trickle of the stuff ran down his chin. He could still hear an echo of a scream and he knew for sure it wasn't him.

_I'm sorry…_

Castiel willed, hoping that the tiny unborn thing inside of him would understand.

_I'm so sorry…_

Castiel closed his eyes and waited, knowing that his brother was approaching.

Bobby grumbled as his other cell phone rang.

"Yeah…"

He took a swig of beer. Let's just say that he was in a piss poor mood. Dean had gone ballistic because his sweetheart had been taken from him. Now he and Sam were having a sharing and caring session out by Dean's car. Bobby wanted no part of it. He stayed inside with the Harvfeles and tried to discern what to do now that the potentially most powerful being on earth was in the hands of freaking Satan.

"Hey Bobby, Garth here. So I'm in South Dakota and this wicked weird stuff is going down like you don't even know!"

Bobby ran a hand over his face. He did _not_ need this right now.

"That's right ya idjit now tell me so I know!"

Bobby barked at the twiggy hunter on the other end.

"Have you ever seen a bush spontaneously catch fire and then yell in enochian?"

Bobby knitted his brow. Maybe he was interested in this.

"What did it say?"

"I don't know, but it sounded like it was in a whole lot of pain. I recorded it. I'll send you the file."

Bobby had a pretty good feeling he knew who had started the fire. He scribbled down some notes.

"Anything else weird?"

"Actually…"

Garth paused,

"Get on with it ya idjit."

Bobby growled.

"I just saw on the news that like half of Minnesota dropped, ears bleeding and all that! Apparently there was a sound and the entire state's supply of glass was shattered in like a second. Then most of the people exposed to it died. Those who survived said it wasn't just a sound, it was someone screaming. The bush just stopped talking at like 7 pm."

That smelled angelic to Bobby.

"OK Garth, we may be dealing with Angels here so keep your head in the game. If you see a really dorky looking guy with wings, you grab him for us. He's kind of important."

"Gotcha!"

"Call me if you find anything!"

Bobby hung up and went to go tell the Winchesters.

Dean's mind wasn't in the game. Sam was giving him a pep talk, but all he could see was that scruffy face, blue eyes wide with panic and chapped lips screaming his name. Cummon Cas… Hang in there, I'm gonna find you…

"Dean, you still listening or what?"

Dean looked up from his boots to his little brother. No, not really. He was freaking out, but he needed to put on a brave face. If he couldn't keep it together, panic might ensue.

"Yeah, yeah Sammy…"

Dean leaned back against the smooth, cool, metal of his baby's hood. Even she held little comfort.

"Great…"

Sam's tone indicated that he did not believe him.

"Dean… He's gonna be ok…"

Dean didn't want to hear it.

"Oh yeah right Sam! Cas is gonna just come out smelling like a rose after being taken from us by the Devil! Thanks for that by the way!"

Dean snapped.

"I'm going inside!"

He stomped off, not waiting for Sam to answer. Sam could shove it! This was all his fault! Dean almost ran right smack into Bobby the door banged open.

"Somebody's got their panties in a bunch…"

Bobby grumbled. Dean gave him a look that could sour milk.

"Hey Sam, git over here! Dean, don't you say a damn word!"

The two stood there, looking more like petulant children than anything else. Bobby herded them inside and called for Ellen and Jo to come downstairs. The rag-tag group huddled around the bar, morning beers in hand. They looked more like a gang of alcoholics that fearsome warriors.

"Garth just called with some news that _might _lead us to Angel Boy. SIT DOWN DEAN! I wasn' damn finished!"

Dean plopped back down onto his stool, with a murderous expression on his face.

"Garth said that a ton of people dropped dead in Minnesota from blood loss out the ears. According to the News, it was a state emergency. Those who were unaffected claimed to have heard someone screaming. It lasted all night and early into the mornin'. Then Garth found this bush that was on fire, but wasn't burnin, like in the old testimate. It was shouting in enochian. Garth sent me the audio file… I'm warnin ya. It ain't pretty…"

Bobby pressed play on his laptop screen. An all too familiar voice rang out through the speakers. Sam glanced anxiously at Dean. The elder Winchester had gone white and his hands gripped the edge of the bar so hard, his veins were popping. It was Cas. He was crying out in obvious and terrible pain and in between words, he would let out a bloodcurdling shriek that made Sam wince visibly.

"Turn it off…"

Dean hissed. His jaw was clenched and his teeth ground together.

"Turn it off!"

Dean punched the bar, managing to dent it and splinter his fingers. Bobby hit the space bar before Dean could do any more damage. Sam squeezed Dean's shoulder, but said nothing.

"It translates roughly to 'We are on fire!' over and over again"

Dean stood up again and began to pace.

"So far all we know is that the voice came from Minnesota. We don't have an actual location or anything."

"So what you do is you follow the miracles. Hello!"

A sandy haired man stood next to Sam with a bored look on his face.

"So Deanie Weenie, we gonna find Baby Mama or what?"

Sam crossed his arms and pinched his lips together.

"Gabriel…"

"Hey Kiddo."

Gabriel turned back and addressed the group as if he were commanding an audience.

"Kay so I know what town he is in, but brother Luci warded the place, so wherever he is, I cannot see it. I can point you in the right direction."

Dean looked ready to go with Gabriel, but the other three had questions. Sam was particularly disturbed.

"Why? You're the trickster. Why should we trust you?"

Gabriel smiled impishly.

"How far is Dean willing to go for you? I'm a big brother too you know. He's my youngest sibling and he's kind of important, especially right now."

Gabriel held out his hand.

"Who's coming with?"

Dean looked up.

"I'm going with Gabriel. Sam, Bobby, you come with me. Gabriel, you're taking us back when we've got Cas right?"

Gabriel shrugged, grinning.

"He'll be pissed if I don't Dean-o!"

Ellen and Jo agreed to do some research in order to pinpoint where Cas was being kept. Ellen had grown fond of him and was anxious to see the Angel safe. Dean went up to pack a bag and Bobby intercepted Sam as he went to get his own bag.

"You know what we have to do right Sam?"

Bobby's face was stone cold serious. He and Sam had had this conversation earlier.

"Yeah…"

Sam grabbed his duffle bag and jogged to the bar where Gabriel was waiting. He had turned the bar into a Disco with loud Bee Gees music and a disco ball.

"Hey Kiddo!"

"Gabriel… When Bobby gets here, we have to leave pronto!"

Sam decided not to ask the Trickster about the room. Gabriel had no doubt gotten bored.

"I always did enjoy a little prank. I was just about to ask why we're leaving Dr. Hodgins, but I know why, and I don't really even care."

Sam decided not to ask why Gabriel was using so many Bones references and shrugged.

"He's gotten too emotional about it. It won't be helping Cas any, so we're leaving him."

"I said I know why kiddo."

Gabriel added a couple of go-go dancers to the bar.

"Don't really care. I'll get you there, I'll get you back. All of the other stuff is really not that consequential."

Sam looked Gabriel up and down.

"Then why help?"

Sam knew that, archangel or not, Gabriel was consumed with fear. He just wanted to run and hide from his problems, but his brother needed him, so it was time to step up. Sam sighed internally. Gee… that didn't remind him of anyone… Bobby approached, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Well, not silence. More like wailing of "More than a Woman."

"Do I even ask?"

Bobby grumbled.

"No. Now let's go!"

Dean was good and ready to punch a hole in the wall.

"Damn it Sam!"

His deep bellow reverberated through every room.

"You can't just leave!"

Ellen bound into the room, shotgun in hand.

"Dean, you mind tellin' me why you gave me such a fright?!"

Ellen lowered her gun a little, checking the room.

"Sam, Bobby, and that winged son of a bitch just left without me!"

Dean roared, pacing, trying to manage the anger and panic. How could they do this to him? Cas was his responsibility! Cas was _his _angel! They had a connection! It might help them find him!

"I need a drink."

"If you ask me, they left you here because you ain't seeing straight. You're so attached to Blue Eyes that you can't focus and your anger is out of control. Dean, just give Sam a call. Talk to him. I'm sure his reasons ain't bad."

Dean downed a shot of whiskey and eyed Ellen offer the brim of the shot glass.

"Yeah, like when he broke the final seal and Lucifer rose from Hell. Nah… His intentions were plenty good then, but look where they got us…"

Dean paused to pour and down another shot. Ellen raised an eyebrow.

"Good God Dean. You sure have turned into a crybaby."

She turned to leave.

"Oh, Blue Eyes doesn't like it when you binge drink. You should take better care Dean. Get some rest. You know, eat something? It there's one thing I gathered about him, it's that he cares more about you than himself. Don't screw it up."

The mark that Castiel had left on Dean's arm was cold and clammy. Dean rested his other hand against it praying the words 'please don't be dead' over and over again. He cradled his cell in his other hand. His thumb hovered over the speed dial. He had Sam's contact in his phone as "Bitch," at least his first cell. The other two were "Little Shit" and "Mop Head." Dean almost snorted, but couldn't. He called Bitch. When there was no answer, Little Shit, and finally, Mop Head picked up.

"_Dean, I can explain…"_

Sam sounded like he had been waiting for this call. There was a whole lot of static interference.

"No you can't."

Dean snapped. There was a static filled silence.

"What is all that crap?"

"_There's a snow storm. Its December in Minnesota Dean."_

"I'm not stupid…"

Dean winced, tired from last night's battle and soar from the injuries.

"You guys find him. You don't find him in a week and I'm driving down there myself."

Dean growled.

"_Dean…"_

Dean knew what Sam would say.

"Yeah… Call me with any updates. I'll be here, you know, doing your job…"

Dean sighed at the thought of research when he could be out there bringing his angel home safe.

"_Just… Get some rest Dean…"_

Dean grumbled. Everyone kept saying that as if they had never had a few scrapes before. He hung up on Sam and rolled over. Dean lay on the covers in his clothes, the way he always did, but there was no soft black blanket of feathers this time. No angel curled up under the covers, sheltering him with a wing. Dean stretched out an arm. Feeling what little comfort there was to feel, Dean passed into an uneasy sleep.

He no longer felt that he was on fire, but the skin of his vessel felt as if he had been burned clean off. The holy fire still burned around him. Castiel could feel it and hear it simultaneously. He dared to open his eyes just enough to see blurred shapes through the pain. The holy fire cast a sickly glow over the walls of the warehouse. The bodies in which the demon guards had inhabited were stretched out across the floor, empty, blood forming halos around their heads. Castiel did not bother to move. He was so tired. He could feel a small consciousness inside him pushing at his mind. It too emulated unhappiness. Castiel closed his eyes and leaned his head. Castiel willed the tiny being to understand. He was not hurting the child intentionally. He wanted it to know that it wished for its safety and that was the reason why he was doing this. He wanted to do the right thing…

"Father…"

Castiel croaked. Blood bubbled up in his throat and a single bead dripped out of the corner of his mouth and down his stubbly chin.

"I need to know… Am I on the right path?... I need to know if I am on the right path…"

He wished to be an angel… To be one that followed orders… He wanted so badly for someone else to lead the way… He was doing the right thing, but it was so painful in every way. Castiel felt Lucifer approaching before he actually saw the fallen archangel. He was whistling the popular tune "You are my Sunshine," cheerfully.

"Goodness baby brother, the mess you've made."

Lucifer tutted at him as he ambled up to the outer edge of the circle of fire.

"So am I going to get a "yes" today?"

Castiel opened his eyes fully, unperturbed by the blazing of Lucifer's silver wings.

"Bite… Me…"

Castiel managed to grind out between clenched teeth. Lucifer raised his eyebrows and waggled a finger.

"Wrong answer."

Lucifer snapped his fingers and Castiel heard a nasty crunching sound. Several brittle bones in Castiel's wings snapped. He made a pathetic gurgling sound as the pain hit his sensitive wings.

"I'll give you a second…"

Lucifer smiled placidly, crossing his arms and tilting his head as Castiel's back arched and he wiggled in pain.

"How about now?"

Lucifer raised an eyebrow at Castiel.

"Never…"

The word came out as a whimper, but it was what the angel could manage. Lucifer sighed, pursing his lips.

"Good thing I got you a present then, isn't it?"

Castiel could make out another pint bag in his brother's hand as Lucifer held the other out, palm up. The tube raced to his hand.

"Got it fresh just for you. It's Wrath blood. It put up a bit of a fight, so this is all that was left, but I'm sure I don't care."

Castiel could feel the tainted liquid begin to enter his veins.

"Anyway, you tell me what you felt when I come back and we'll have this little chat again, yes?"

Castiel glared at his elder brother as he left. He was acting braver and stronger than he felt. He closed his eyes, vessel aching to be cradled, to be supported be someone else's weight... His only real comfort was the Mark on his hip, warm under his clothes. Castiel began to sweat, the blood would be taking effect in no time at all. He reached out to the tiny consciousness inside him and tried to comfort it.

_Dean, you have to find us soon…_

It had been a week! A whole WEEK. Dean was agitated beyond all belief. He kept calling Sam over and over again asking for their location. He needed it in order to help them, but Bobby had finally intervened and bellowed at Dean that he was being an idjit wasn't helping. The only reason that Dean was sure the angel was still alive was the mark on his arm. Sometimes it was feverish. Other times it was cold and clammy. He couldn't really explain it, but he'd seen weirder. Dean hadn't actually realized how much he would miss Cas's company at night until he had to go without him. The angel's warmth and divine comfort had actually helped the Winchester sleep a few more hours each night. Now, the bed was as empty as it had been before. The only evidence that Cas had been there at all was a pile of pillows and a few fly away feathers. Dean stretched out his arm, trying to pretend that the warm weight of Castiel's vessel rested atop it. He didn't actually _want_ to sleep, but Ellen would yell and Jo would pout if he didn't. If he persisted, they would call Sam who would give him a lecture on the hazards of sleep deprivation with Bobby calling him an asshat or idjit in the background.

At least Sam, Bobby, Garth, and Gabriel had been keeping him informed. Yeah, Garth had been permitted to join the great angel rescue but oh no, not Dean! From what Dean had heard over the phone, Garth was… Special… At any rate, Dean was a better hunter and knew Cas best. He should be out there… Dean traced the soft edge of a charcoal black feather. He was tired, sure, but sleep did not come easy when _his_ angel and _his_ child…

Dean blinked and became very alert very suddenly. It didn't mean it was actually his kid, like part of him, but he felt like it was his. He felt protective of the angel who happened to have a soul child growing inside of him. If Dean wanted to protect Cas, he reasoned with himself, then of course he would be protective of something growing in the angel's body. Dean managed to put that topic out of his mind, stroking the feather with a finger until he passed out.

_Dean was comfortable in his reclining lawn chair. In one hand, he held a fishing pole, in the other, a bottle of beer. He stared out at the calm scenery. From the dock, he could see the placid lake, lush greenery, and blue mountain perfectly. Maybe he'd get a bite today… Maybe he wouldn't… He didn't really care out here. Everything was peaceful. Dean heard a bird fluttering along…_

"_Hello Dean…"  
>The voice was low and scratchy like a dying fire. That hadn't been a bird! It was an angel. Dean jumped up, dropping his Beer and fishing gear. Cas looked awful. His wings stuck out in directions they weren't supposed to go. He was covered in sweat and blood.<em>

"_Cas!  
>Cas's brilliant blue eyes were wide, frightened, and desperate. Dean threw his arms around him. His stomach lurched as he felt Cas shudder in his arms, unable to handle being touched.<em>

"_I've been worried dude! Where are you?"_

"_I don't know Dean… It's snowing outside… There have been storms, other than that, I don't know…"_

_Cas pulled away. Dean wanted to resist, to pet his hair and give him comfort, but he knew better. Cas gave him a meaningful look. In his cupped hands, he held a small, white ball of light. Dean knew what it was without asking. _

"_I need you to take it…"_

_Cas's eyes pleaded with him not to argue._

"_Just hold it. I'll be back tonight. I don't have much time. Lucifer will be returning soon."_

_Dean wasn't exactly sure why he wasn't asking more questions as he nodded. Castiel swiftly pressed the hot ball of light into Dean's chest. Cas was gone as soon as he pulled away… _

"_Typical… Didn't even buy me dinner first…" _

Dean woke due to an intense heat inside his body. He was not exactly thrilled, but at least the child was safe for now. Dean rolled over, still so damn tired. He could deal with this later. He wanted to sleep.

Castiel felt terrible about leaving his child. The poor thing wouldn't last very long in a human body, so he needed to act quickly. At least it was Dean, the father. That should buy him some time. Luckily for Castiel, his Grace was returning swiftly. He closed his eyes, praying for strength… Castiel willed the wounds that he could not heal to bleed. He must put out the holy fire. All he had was his vessel and his Grace. He waited until about a pint had been drained before he willed the blood to run toward the ring of fire. He was beginning to feel dizzy, but he could deal with that later. The fire went out with a hiss as his blood bubbled sickeningly. Castiel waited just a moment before unlocking his shackles. The resonant click seemed to have gotten the demon guards' attention. One of them ran at him in a blur. He raised a hand and smote it. His eyes were clouded and his vessel exhausted. The other guard tried to evade him by swooping around, but he was still an angel. Angels would always be faster. He didn't even feel himself smite that demon. He just knew it had happened when he heard the heavy _thud_ of its body hit cold cement.

Castiel leaned against the wall, wretching. It had to be blood, nothing else was that color red… The angel wasn't even sure how he had gotten out or where he was, but he was out. Castiel staggered, urging himself to move forward. He needed to get away. They couldn't find him again… Castiel was maybe a couple of miles away from the warehouse when he had to stop. He was so cold and so tired… He groaned as he landed, hard, on his broken wings, Castiel stared at the sky. He had to have fallen… The snow was nice on his wings. They were going numb… They didn't hurt anymore… The rest of his vessel was starting to lose feeling as well… The snowflakes were really very beautiful. Each and every snowflake was different. The crystal structure changed from one to the other. They sparkled, yet they were cold and soft all at once… Castiel's throat hurt… He realized that he must be breathing in the precious things. How sad that he had to kill something so beautiful… The snowflakes melted as they fell upon his skin. Castiel just watched and felt and marveled at his father's work. If he had a choice, he would want to be a snowflake… When he fell from the sky, he would melt away…

_Dean wasn't even comfortable on his dock. He was soar and hot all over and his head was pounding. That and he was in no mood for beer. Just the thought of it made him want to hurl… He heard the rustle of wings._

"_Cas?!"_

_Dean groaned as he stood, joints cracking. _

"_Did you get out? Do you know where you are?"_

_Cas looked even more out of it than usual. He blinked at Dean, but no verbal answer was forthcoming. Castiel just gave a small nod._

"_Cas…"_

_Dean felt as if a pit had opened in his chest as he took the angel in his arms once again. He was so fragile and frail looking. Dean felt one cold hand against his chest and all of a sudden, he was a whole lot more comfortable._

"_Wait! Cas, are you sure that's a good idea?! You aren't in any condition-"_

_Dean was silenced by those damn eyes. The angel had to stop playing that card. Cas pulled away slowly._

"_Thank you Dean…"_

_Dean could barely hear him._

"_Yeah…"_

_Dean mussed his damp dark hair._

"_Just come back safe…"_

Sam hung up his phone.

"That was Dean."

He, Bobby, and Garth (and on occasion Gabriel), had been hauled up in Motel after Motel. They had been, what Garth had dubbed, Minnesota hopping. Right now they were in a tiny little town by the name of Moose Lake. Gabriel, who had decided to stay for a while, teased Sam that he didn't realize that Sam had a lake and a town named after him. Sam had ignored him for the most part.

"What did lover boy say?"

Bobby grumbled. He had had his fill of Dean trying to catch up with them and calling for updates.

"Dean says that Cas just visited him twice in dreams. He said Cas dropped the baby off with him for about an hour then returned to pick it up. According to Dean, Cas escaped but doesn't know where he is. Apparently Cas's wings are broken and he's covered in blood, but he's alive."

Gabriel, who had finally found something worthy of looking up from his candy, sat straight up.

"Whoa! Hold on two seconds!"

Gabriel vanished and returned about a minute later with more candy and a map.

"So I just went to talk to some of my peeps-"

Sam raised an eyebrow.

"_You _have _peeps_?"

"Sure do Moose Port! Eyes and ears everywhere!"

Gabriel threw a candy wrapper at Sam before returning to his map.

"They've been on the prowl for angelic miracles too. They said that the miracles were happening here."

Gabriel pointed to a pink circle on the map.

"and now they are happening here."

He gestured to a purple circle on the map.

"That and I know where he is cuz he isn't inside Lucifer's wards anymore. Shall I take you?"

Gabriel wore an impish grin. The three humans gave Gabriel a variety of incredulous looks.

"Hello, Trickster! Come on, let's go!"

Sam blinked the snow out of his eyes as he steadied himself from the flight with Gabriel. He looked around, squinting due to blinding white snow. The air was crisp and cold, stinging his cheeks. Sam turned to Gabriel.

"Where is he?"

Gabriel shrugged and indicated the aria in front of their feet.

"Should be right here."

Sam scanned the ground.

"Cas?!"

He bellowed.

"Cas, where are you?!"

Garth grabbed Sam's arm with boney fingers.

"Look!"

Sam squinted. Feathers… Black feathers, stark against the fresh snow. Sam bound forward and knelt next to a clump of them. The stuck out of the snow at an odd angle and were obviously attached to something. He seriously hoped it was Cas and not some enormous dead bird. Gabriel gave Sam a pointed look.

"Sam, you need to stand back."

With a single snap of his fingers, Gabriel swept the snow out of his way.

"Good lord…"

Bobby whispered, kneeling where Sam had been.

"Not so much right now. Sam, you grab Cas, everybody else, hold on tight!"

Gabriel was actually looking very serious as he laid his hands on the humans and took flight.

Dean was the one to answer the door when the hunters and angels returned.

"Hurry up!"

Gabriel had appeared inside house, yelling at Sam like he owned him.

"Dean, clear off the bar!"

Ellen was already on it. She swept everything off, not caring if it broke when it hit the floor. She grabbed a bottle of vodka. Cas looked even more awful than Dean had imagined. He was soaking wet and ashen. His wings were broken in several places and feathers fell out in large quantities. There was blood, but he wasn't bleeding any more. He looked so small and fragile as Sam rushed him to the counter. Dean tried to clean the angel's face with the sleeve of his jacket. Cas let out a weak cough and a drop of blood landed on his hand.

"You're gonna be ok Cas…"

Dean whispered more to himself than to Castiel himself.

"You're gonna be ok…"

He smoothed wet, blood matted hair out of Cas's face. The angel's eyes were closed. He wanted so badly to see those clear eyes. Gabriel and Ellen were busy at work, tearing Cas's clothes to get to his skin.

"Dean! A little help!"

Sam bellowed as he ran from the room to get blankets. Dean stood, feeling numb.

"What can I do?"

He asked Gabriel. Gabriel shook his head,

"I can't heal all of these. Some of them are spiritual… Get some blankets…"

Dean began to leave, but there was a tug at his sleeve. It was light and he almost didn't notice it, but he stopped.

"Dean…?

That voice was so welcome, low and crackling. Dean fell to Cas's side.

"Hey…"

Dean was so happy.

"Yeah, I'm here… You're gonna be ok…"

Castiel gave Dean one of those adoring 'oh my savior' looks before turning away. His eyes were tightly shut and his chapped lips pursed. Dean just knew he was in pain. He ran soothing hands over his face and through his hair, just wanting him to feel better.

"Hay… Sh…"

Sam was back, handing him towels soaked in hot water, some alcohol, cotton swab, and some blankets. Dean didn't realize it, but it was just him and Gabriel now. He was so intent. Cas didn't open his eyes, or acknowledge him again, but he seemed calmer. Gabriel healed what he could, but Lucifer had done something to Cas. He was sick. Even after his injuries had all been healed, it still felt like something was wrong. He was sweating and running a temperature. Gabriel had never seen anything like it. He had gone off with Sam, Bobby, and Garth to discuss possibilities. Jo had come down to help Dean and her mother. . Dean cleaned Cas off best he could. He gave him some fresh clothes, dressing him awkwardly with Jo's help. Dean was fussing over the angel. Angels weren't supposed to get sick and Cas was a special angel. This couldn't be good for the baby…

_ Castiel was in a bedroom. It was the one at Ellen's. Dean was there and so was their child, still inside of him, still waiting to be born. He sat on the edge of the bed, muscles tense. Dean looked angry. He didn't want Dean to be angry with him._

"_Why did you have to go and get pregnant Cas?"_

_The words cut into him like an Angel Blade. _

"_I didn't mean to Dean… I wouldn't have done it on purpose…"_

_He was whispering. Whispering because he was scared._

"_You knew that it could happen though right? You knew and you didn't say anything!"_

_Castiel's eyes were wide. He hadn't even known he could get pregnant until he was pregnant._

"_No…"_

"_That's a bunch of bullshit!"_

_Dean backhanded him across the face, leaving a mark that stung. He thought Dean would never hurt him again! _

"_I'm sorry Dean…"_

_It was his go to. An apology usually worked and he didn't want Dean to hit him again. It hurt more because it was Dean doing the hitting._

"_Whatever. You always say that."_

_Dean turned away from him. His back and neck muscles bunched and tense._

"_How could you get yourself kidnapped!?"_

_Dean was in his face now._

"_All you had to do was grab my hand! Was that really so hard?!"_

_Castiel didn't answer him this time. Dean should know that he had been pulled away. He had tried, but it hadn't mattered. There was a glint of something silver in Dean's hand. Castiel placed a defensive hand against his lower abdomen._

"_Don't hurt it…"_

_He pleaded. His voice was weak and it cracked. It was too late. The angel blade was inside of him, inside of the child. Together, they screamed._

There was a high pitched sound that woke Dean violently. He covered his ears.

"What th-"

He had heard that sound before. An angel's true voice.

"Cas, hey!"

He reached out and shook the screaming angel violently.

"Wake up!"

Cas stared at him with huge, delirious blue eyes.

"Don't hurt me…"

Dean was taken aback. His chest felt tight. He wouldn't.

"What?!"

"Don't hurt it!"

Cas curled up in a ball under the covers, looking very small. Dean reached out, feeling lost and cold.

"Cas, you were dreaming…"

Cas gazed up at him, looking more like an injured animal than an angel of the Lord. Dean got up from his bedside chair and curled up around him so that he couldn't bolt.

"Hey… I wouldn't hurt you…"

He tried to sooth, rubbing the angel's arm. Cas was shaking violently and his breath was shallow.

"Is… that what nightmares feel like?..."

Cas rasped. Dean nodded, feeling the Angel's face. He was soaked in cold sweat and he was still running a temperature.

"Yeah…"

"Dean…?"

Cas coughed tasted warm copper.

"I missed you…"

Dean squeezed a little tighter.

"Yeah buddy, missed you too…"

Cas was silent for a moment.

"I'm dirty…"

Dean couldn't help but snort.

"Yeah. Getting tortured will do that to you."

Cas was silent for another moment.

"I need a shower Dean…"

"Alright, here…"

Dean smirked and hoisted the angel into his arms, blankets and all.

"I can walk. This is not necessary."

Cas protested, but Dean didn't put him down until they were in the bathroom. He sat Cas down on the toilet seat and started the water.

"How do you want it?"

Dean asked without turning around. Damn, now he was pampering the guy… Cas was busy removing the blankets and his boxers. He looked up, Dean's backside in his face.

"Oh… Warm… Warm, but not hot…"

Dean turned around to see Cas sitting there, completely naked.

"Oh shit!"

Cas blinked.

"Calm down Dean."

He squinted.

"Warn me next time."

Dean shook his head. Cas did not seem convinced.

"This is a shower. If I am not mistaken, people undress before they get in."

Cas stood his ground. He stuck his chin out stubbornly. Dean's eyes slid down his body. He wasn't showing yet. There was something different. Maybe he just hadn't noticed it before. He hadn't seen Cas naked since that one time in his dream. It was a scar, dark against his hip. He realized he was staring and went back to checking the water.

"It's a burn scar."

Cas didn't seem to miss a beat. He even moved a little so that Dean could see it better. It was eerily familiar. A scar in the shape of a hand…

"Like the one you left on me…"

"Yes Dean."

Cas stood mostly still under the jets. His legs were wobbly and Dean felt an urge to get in there with him so that he could hold him up. He tried not to watch, but couldn't bring himself to leave. If Cas fell or something, he wanted to be there. Finally, Cas shut off the water. He was too shaky getting out. Dean had to do something.

"You really shouldn't be up and around…"

A soft towel wrapped itself around Castiel and he was hoist up into Dean's arms again.

"You are most likely correct."

He mumbled into Dean's warm body, not wanting to argue.

"I'm sorry Dean…"

Dean was met with the saddest puppy dog eyes. They even rivaled Sammy's.

"Sorry for what Cas?"

"Everything."

Castiel buried his scratchy face into Dean's neck and mumbled something.

"Hay wao! No chick flick moments!"

Dean laughed nervously.

"I'm sorry…"

"Oh stop it Cas, you didn't do anything wrong!"

Castiel was silent. He was probably tired. Dean had nasty memories of being tortured in Hell and the Angel boss of hell had been wailing on Cas for a week and a half. Even if his body had healed, it takes something out of you. Dean checked to make sure the cost was clear, knowing that this would look really bad. He was clothed, but Cas was wrapped up in nothing but a towel. He would have dared Sam of Bobby to give a shit on any other day, but the angel wasn't exactly at the peak of health. Dean hadn't taken advantage of him and he didn't want that to be the assumption. Yeah, he was a little hard, but who wouldn't be with all that warm skin and nakedness pressed up against him? It wasn't as if he planned to do anything about it… Right now… Dean shook himself mentally and set Cas down on the bed.

"I'll get you something to sleep in."

Dean turned away to get a T-shirt and Boxers out of Cas's bag. He was treating Cas like a wife and he knew it. Whatever, the guy was sick.

"I'm comfortable…"

Cas's naked little body curled up into one of the blankets. Dean gulped.

"Cas, buddy… It's a human thing… I need you to put something on…"

Castiel was silent, but his wings rustled unhappily.

"Too hot…"

He took the boxers proffered to him however. Dean gave him a shirt, which he promptly threw to the edge of the bed. At least now he was wearing _something._ Dean turned around to put on a fresh pair of night things, feeling the angel's laser eyes on his back. Dean climbed into bed and allowed the unhappy creature to cling to him like a barnacle.

"Hey… How you doin' there?..."

Castiel rested his head against Dean's chest, holding him so tight that it was almost painful.

"I'm alright Dean…"

Castiel did not want to be a bother… Not until he had an answer to whether his child lived or not… If he could confirm that it had died… He would say something… If it was alive, he needn't speak up at all… Dean needn't know …

"That's a load of crap…"

Dean leaned back against his pillows. If the angel had been feeling better, he would have pushed, but there was no point. Cas seemed to be even more stubborn when he was ill. Dean glanced down at the angel, watching him sleep and hoping that the nightmares would stop.


	5. Changing Channels

[WARNINGS: Mpreg, Nightmares, Vomiting, Vomiting Blood, Sick Castiel, Problems with Pregnancy, Angel Obstetrics, Angel Gynocology, Detox, Crazy Cas, Hellucinations, Non-sexual Intimacy, Internalized Homophobia, Smut, Shower Sex, Hand Job, First Time, Eye Sex, Dean/Cas, General Mind-Fuck]

Chapter 5: Changing Channels

_What would I do without your smart mouth  
>Drawing me in, and you kicking me out<br>You got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down  
>What's going on in that beautiful mind<br>I'm on your magical mystery ride  
>And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright<br>_

_My head's underwater  
>But I'm breathing fine<br>You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

"HEEEEEEEEEEY YOOOOUU GUU-UUYS!"

Sam snorted, blinking and cross eyed. He must have fallen asleep.

"You have ink on your face Sammy Davis Jr."

It was Gabriel. Who else would it be? Sam pulled a face.

"So I'm just gonna jump right in and tell you stuff. Grand pappy Amus and Kermit the Frog went to investigate that old warehouse where Luci was keeping Cassie."

Sam was not awake enough yet to comprehend that Gabriel was talking about Bobby and Garth. He just nodded and went to go make coffee and breakfast. Gabriel Appeared in the kitchen in front of him. There were jars of candy and cookies and baskets of baked goods everywhere. Sam ignored them and opened the fridge. The sight of Cakes and Pies and Cookie dough made him sigh audibly. Apparently, Gabriel had set up his sugar stash here. Great…

"First of all, my baby brother is a badass. I mean, there were dead demons all over the place and blood everywhere! I mean, don't get me wrong, I could have done that too. But he's a freshly tortured prego. I gotta give him props. Anyway, Wallis and Grommet noticed that the first floor was full of trapped monsters. This one was surprisingly co-operative and told them that Lu was drawing their blood by the pint for some reason. The second floor was where he was keeping Cassie. I checked it myself. It stank of holy fire. The ring had been put out by blood. I'm guessing Cassie directed his blood to put out the fire. Gutsy move if you ask me. Anyway, there was an iron chair with chains and everything. The i.v. bag and tubes next to it weren't exactly for décor me thinks."

Sam made his coffee as the archangel filled him in. He had missed a lot during his few hours of sleep.

"So what do you think Sammy Wammy?"

"Did you just turn me coffee into hot chocolate?"

Sam threw Gabriel a borderline homicidal look.

"You're welcome. Lighten up. Jeez."

Dean moved gingerly. Cas had finally loosened his hold on him. Dean moved out of Castiel's arms, ducking under a wing. He knelt for a moment, just watching the pallid angel breath. It was stupid that he needed a reminder that Cas was alive and there after having him stuck to Dean's torso like glue all night. Dean tip toed out of his own room and crept down the stairs only to see Gabriel chatting up Sam in the kitchen.

"Hey Dean."  
>Sam looked up, bitch face intact.<p>

"How's Cas?"

Dean raised an eyebrow at the array of shiny colorful delights.

"Sleeping."

Dean grabbed for the coffee machine. Sam's bitch face intensified.

"It's hot chocolate. Gabriel thinks he's funny."

Dean actually shrugged.

"Awesome…"

He mumbled, grabbing two cups. He'd take some up to Cas. Hopefully it would cheer him up.

"Keeps having nightmares. Hey Gabe, do you guys do that?"

Dean said over his shoulder as he filled the mugs of hot coco. Gabriel actually looked seriously thoughtful for once.

"No… we don't…"

Dean heard the light patter of bare feet. He had been hoping to get back to his room before Cas woke up. Cas stared at him with an unfathomable look on his face. His eyes had been reduced to blue slits and his head tilted to one side. His hair was seriously sleep mussed and he was dressed in an old Led Zeppelin T-shirt of Dean's. It was actually kind of adorable.

"Mornin'"

Dean threw his angel a lopsided grin.

"Hello Dean…"

Cas's voice was super scratchy, even more so than usual. It was honestly pretty sexy.

"I woke up and you were gone…"

Cas's wings shifted visibly. Dean wished he would stop being so unhappy.

"I thought something might have happened."

Dean hurriedly held out the coco.

"No, no, no Cas! I'm good! We're good! Right Sam?"

Sam nodded and Gabriel pouted, clearly put off that he was being excluded. There was a rush up air, and he was gone.

"Got you coco?"

Dean felt like a whipped husband again. He could _feel_ Sam trying not to laugh.

"Thank you Dean…"

Cas took the mug in his spidery little hands, but handed it back immediately.

"Excuse me…"

There was reason for hope… One whiff of hot chocolate and all Castiel wanted to do was vomit. The morning sickness had persisted, so perhaps there was no problem. Perhaps there was a problem. He was vomiting a whole lot more than usual and he had eaten nothing for more than a week. Castiel had opted to go outside for this. He liked Ellen and did not want to bother her by breaking her bathroom without the "mojo" to fix it. He sighed, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. A daisy plant sprung from the pool of liquid light (and blood) in front of him. He tilted his head and furrowed his brow, watching it flourish into a large, healthy plant.

"Hey!"

Sam and Dean had followed him.

"Cas, you ok?!"

Castiel would never get tired of the way Dean was babying him.

"I'm alright Dean…"

He was on autopilot to tell the truth. Sam knelt down next to him and blinked at the flowers.

"Where did these come from?"

Castiel put a hand over his mouth, fighting another wave of nausea.

"I think… I may have made them…"

Dean plopped down on one knee.

"How?"

"I don't know."

Castiel had broken out in a cold sweat and trembled. It was chilly out here and all he was wearing were boxers and a T-shirt.

"I want to go inside."

Dean helped him up.

"Maybe you are here to perch on my shoulder."

Dean tried to joke. His effort failed, but it was a try. They were inside, curled up on the couch. Sam had agreed to do the work, insisting that Dean stay and comfort Cas.

"He needs you right now."

Was Sam's reasoning. Cas had changed again. Temperature was becoming an issue. He now wore one of Dean's old Van Halen T-shirts. With that, he had wrapped himself in Jimmy's old coat and a ripped pair of jeans. Dean had known when Dr. Sexy M. D. would be on and wanted to watch.

"They're having a marathon before the finale. I haven't seen all of it."

Castiel wanted to do what Dean wanted to do. He found comfort in Dean's explanations of the show. The show had little plot and all of the doctors were extremely good looking. Cas secretly thought that Dean had a little crush on Dr. Sexy. It was cute really. Dean would react to everything. Cas just snuggled up to Dean's relaxing form and rested his head against his arm. They were comfortable with the closeness and familiarity. Dean's voice lulled him to sleep and this time, there were no nightmares.

Bobby removed his old, dirty cap, smoothing his hair back before replacing it. He and Garth had tried to get info from every monster in this place and collected the blood. Bobby had a duffel bag of blood and Garth had a camera full of pictures of the place. Bobby had left Garth to dispose of the monsters. Gabriel had arranged to fly them back, but he claimed that they owed him a brownie sundae.

"Ay! Its Doctor Sexy M.D.!"

Gabriel plopped down on the couch waking Castiel abruptly.

"What episode are we on?!"

Castiel was so startled that his angel blade slipped out of his sleeve and clattered onto the floor.

"Dude!"

"My apologies brother… You startled me…"

Dean stretched out a little, inviting Cas to get comfortable on him. Castiel did just that. He wanted to touch as much of this man as possible. Gabriel flopped onto Castiel, resting his head on his hip.

"Hi."

Gabriel grinned cheekily at him. For a moment they were comfortable, if not awkwardly so. Bobby had mumbled something and left long ago. Gabriel frowned and reached up. He touched Castiel on the lower abdomen.

"Hey Cas, you wanna tell your kid that I'm not Lu?"

Castiel glanced over at Gabriel, going a little pink.

"I can't."

Castiel stated in a hollow tone. Dean turned away from the TV for the first time in hours. He and Gabriel spoke in unison.

"What?"

"I can't feel the child's presence… It's just gone…"

Dean and Gabriel stared at him with something akin to horror.

"Well, its alive and kicking my ass if that makes you feel better. Think it senses that I'm an archangel and mistakes me for Luci."

"That…"

Castiel swallowed and gazed at the archangel as if he owed him his life.

"…does make me feel better…"

Dean squeezed his shoulder

"Next time, tell someone if you think something's up."

His words weren't gentle.

"Hey Cassie, I'm talking to your kid. Well not really talking. It just feels things and then throws them at me like grenades."

Gabriel wrinkled his nose.

"How do you deal-"

Gabriel was still for a moment. The image of pure creation flashed through his mind. It was a soul encompassed in white light and it was in pain. It had only been aware of itself for a short while, but there was a memory of an angel's scream and the soul scraping at the walls of its cage. The soul could feel its host parent pleading that they were sorry, but it did not know that word. It felt the incredible strength of the archangel and associated it with pain. It was afraid. The inside of its host parent had been scraped raw from all of its own thrashing. It knew that that must hurt, so it drew back. It did not want to hurt, so it severed the connection with its host parent completely. If they were in pain, it did not have to know.

"Bundle of Joy severed the tie itself…"

Gabriel sat up and stretched.

"Lulu's torture caused it to feel your pain, so it actually damaged your true form… At least that's what it felt like. It's all… scraped out in there… It got scared and cut off ties with you…"

Gabriel made a face that indicated 'I dunno' and shrugged.

"I had to interpret. The bouncing baby doesn't know words yet."

Castiel felt very cold. The pain, the constant feeling that there was an open wound in his gut thathad been his child?

"Let's play Dr. Sexy!"

Gabriel snapped and he was in attire which matched that on Dr. Sexy.

"And Cassie, I need you to let me touch it."

Gabriel winked suggestively. Dean narrowed his eyes.

"His soul silly. This will hurt… a lot… But don't worry, the munchkin won't feel it."

Dean thought that touching a soul was supposed to be erotic, but when Gabriel reached a gloved hand strait through Cas's vessel, there was a howl of pain and a sound of distress.

"What are you doing?!"

Dean hoped the panic wasn't coming through in his voice.

"Anyone who has a body is going to feel pain during this!"

Gabriel snapped impatiently. Castiel was fairly quiet, just gritting his teeth and making a weak little sound every now and again. Gabriel knew he had found the right spot when Castiel yelped and a nearby light bulb shattered.

"Found it!"

He looked smug. This part of Castiel's soul felt something akin what would happen if a psych patient had been thrown into a cell made of meat without a straight jacket. It must be hurting Castiel, but the child was nephilim, so he was unable to heal it. It was actually starting to hurt him now. There was so much heat coming off of the child that it was uncomfortable.

"Shit Cassie, how do you keep this inside you all the time?! It's like a tiny Sun in here!"

The sabotage from the tiny being stopped.

'Hey… Yeah… Your ok…'

Gabriel hoped that reaching for the unborn thing on Angel radio would work. Gabriel held his hand very still. There was a brush against his hand. It burned him, but he fought to stay.

'I'm your uncle Gabriel. Your Papa is my brother. He is worried about you…'

It grabbed his finger with the tinniest soul he had ever felt. He felt a miniscule tendril of Grace.

'Do you think that you could, you know, open up your channel with him again? He thought you were gone…'

There was a flash of light. Gabriel blinked and carefully pulled his hand out of Castiel's vessel. His glove was covered in a layer of thick, slimy, light. Gabriel stared at it, not knowing whether he should be grossed out or psyched.

Castiel's eyes were wide. He seemed to be staring off into space. Then, his lip twitched, though his eyes stayed unfathomable.

"It's ok…"

Dean squeezed him by his shoulders and let out a shaking laugh. Castiel closed his eyes, reveling in the warmth of Dean's presence and the touch of the child's Soul. He was still uncomfortable, but he was so happy that it really didn't matter.

"It's ok…"

Sam was in his guest room, poring over his laptop when he heard wings ruffling and felt something slightly wet and rubbery hit his cheek. For a second, he thought Gabriel had thrown a rubber at him.

"What th-"

It was a glove that had been turned inside out and tied shut. The inside of the glove was coated with an iridescent glowing goop.

"We're going to have a talk about this aren't we?"

Sam sighed.

"Yup."

Gabriel plopped down next to him.

"It's called Creation. Capital C."

Sam began to type notes.

"It's the stuff that gives us the ability to make life… It's a very special gift from our father. Only angels who have conceived are granted the power of Creation."

"So why are you telling me this again?"

Sam blinked at Gabriel, who magically had an all day sucker in his grubby mitts.

"bored…"

Gabriel shrugged.

"Creation is really super powerful. He's gonna be a whole lot stronger for a while. It'll run out, but that's life."

Sam waited for the kicker. There had to be one.

"There are going to be others who will want to take it from him."

"What do you suggest we do?"

Sam looked up from his laptop.

"Look out for him, that's all."

Gabriel was gone with a rustle of wings.

Bobby, the Harvfels and the Winchesters spent the rest of the day salting and burning the dead bodies outside of the Roadhouse. Cas wanted to help, but he was ashen and he was still running a temperature. Dean tried to be gentle when convincing Cas to go take a nap. He finally snapped.

"Cas, you look awful! You're still sick! What about the kid?!"

Castiel's eyes were wide and shiny. He looked sad, yet thankful.

"Alright Dean…"

Cas went inside.

Dean snuck into his room… Well, their bedroom. It was Cas's room too now. He crept inside, hoping that he wouldn't wake the angel.

"Hello Dean…"

Castiel's wings fluttered happily.

"Hey Cas…"

Castiel let his wings relax over the edges of the bed and onto the bed. They even touched the walls. Dean sighed and rubbed one of the wings as he sat on the edge of the bed. Cas hummed a little.

"You gonna tell me what he did to you?"

"I would rather not…"

Cas whispered in gravel tones. He closed his eyes. He had been unable to sleep. He was trying to squash his discomfort down so that the child did not have to feel it. It had taken every spare once of Grace and he was exhausted.

"Damnit Cas, I'm trying to help."

Dean grumbled. It had become a bit of a habit to run a hand through Cas's feathers. Dean liked the feeling under his fingers and Cas really seemed to enjoy it.

"Monster blood Dean."

Cas spoke after several minutes of getting his wings petted.

"Gallons of it. I believe detox has been mild thus far. Hopefully it doesn't get as bad as Sam's last year."

A lump formed in Dean's throat.

"He wanted me to give him the child after it was born. I told him to… 'bite me…'"

Dean snickered a little. There was pressure behind his eyes.

"I'm such a bad influence on you…"

"I would have to disagree with that statement…"

Castiel's lip twitched into a tiny smile. Dean concentrated on Cas's feathers, wanting to cry a little, turning away from Cas. He cleared his throat loudly.

"Why do you think he was doing it?"

Cas reached out and touched Dean's hand. The contact was feather light as he sought the conection.

"It was an experiment in torture."

Cas's voice was hollow and detached.

"Lucifer was testing to see what effect each monster's blood would have. His theory was correct. It does affect angels in a negative way."

"If he ever shows his face again…"

Dean growled and didn't pull away from the Angel's touch.

"I'll rip him apart…"

"Your tendency towards anger has never been so comforting."

Castiel's detox was actually quite rough. He could not get a good night's rest. Nobody else really could either for that matter. He would wake up screaming bloody murder from tortured nightmares. He started hallucinating too, sometimes, he would just stare off into space, letting everyone who walked in know that they were not real. All of his Grace went toward sheltering the child from the pain, so he was weak and unable to defend himself. Once or twice, he had just sat in the middle of the floor, wailing in Enochian that he was on fire. Only Dean had managed to calm him from those episodes. His feathers were falling out, he was too skinny, and there were dark circles under his eyes. Slowly, the angel began to sleep through the night. At least he would sleep longer. Sometimes, he would wake up at 2am and watch documentaries on Animal Planet because he couldn't manage any more rest. For weeks he was obsessed with animal testing and the social habits of bees because those were the only programs showing that early. He was concerned about the poor apes and monkeys in the lipstick testing plants.

"How much is lipstick worth to you Dean?..."

The angel had asked with a slightly dazed look in his eyes. He seemed to like to talk more when he was higher than a kite from monster blood.

Once he had actually crawled into bed, pulling Dean on top of his feverish body. When Dean protested, rather loudly, Cas had told him that it was ok. He wasn't real, so they could cuddle if they wanted to. He wanted to snuggle with Dean, there was a fake Dean here. He was going to snuggle it. Dean didn't have the heart to tell him that he was the real Dean. Cas wasn't hallucinating this time. Cas should get off of him and go to his couch. Dean just blushed, eyes tightly shut until he heard the angel's quiet snores. He still didn't move…

Sam and Dean left after a few weeks to take a look at a town that had not been touched by the apocalypse at all. Cas was getting better. He wasn't quite so skinny and he seemed to know who was real and who was not… mostly He stared off into space as the Winchesters packed up.

It turned out that the town was protected by a Demigod who was receiving sacrifices once a month in exchange for keeping the town safe. Dean liked being on the road fine, but he kept calling Ellen and Bobby to check in. apparently, Cas had taken a nasty turn. At first, he just walked around the house with a shit eating grin, telling every occupant to "pull my finger." Then he would blow the lights and laugh at his own joke. Then, he had begun to make stacks and stacks of sandwiches, asking Ellen and Jo who had milked the cow who made this cheese or if the pig who gave them that ham had been comforted kindly before it was killed. He had asked how the wheat had been milled and who had picked the lettuce. He had then gone outside without eating and stared at bees for about six hours straight.

"And Dean, why is he asking me how important lipstick is to me?"

Ellen sounded frustrated. Sam and Dean ganked the sonofabitch Demigod in a hurry and barreled back to Nebraska. Dean drove through the nights. When they were getting close, Sam called. According to an exhausted Ellen, Cas had taken up board games, but he had calmed down considerably.  
>"Sam and Dean are almost home!"<p>

She had bellowed their co-ordinates.

"It helps if he knows you are coming back…"

Something twisted in Dean's gut.

"We'll be there soon…"

Sam hung up and was about to say something, when Dean slammed on the breaks. A woman stood in the middle of a four way cross roads. Her smile was smug and her eyebrow rose.

"Meg?"

"Sure shooting Handsome."

The demon drawled from the back seat of the Impala.

"Emo boy beamed me here. Had a heart to heart."

Dean pulled over.

"If I were you, I'd come clean with Clarence."

Dean glared at her through the rear view mirror.

"Let's just say it's a woman's intuition. He'll feel better."

Meg was gone before Sam could ask. Dean would not talk to Sam on the way back to Ellen's. He just turned up his Van Halen.

He was looking better… fuller and more flush with color. He was sitting on the porch contentedly nibbling at a sandwich and gazing out at the sky. Sam gave Dean a pointed look

"I'll get the bags Dean."

Sam practically sprinted into Ellen's place, leaving Dean to talk to Cas, who was still gazing out at the Nebraska skyline.

"Hey Cas…"

Dean sat down awkwardly. Cas was perched on the steps, his wings haphazardly splayed out behind him.

"Hello Dean…"

Okay, so Dean had caught him at a good time. He was kinda there, if not all there. Dean stared at the same spot Cas seemed to be squinting.

"Cas, buddy, we need to talk…"

Cas didn't look at him. He just kind of tilted his head a little. Dean wished Cas were more of a conversationalist. He felt like a big awkward sappy asshole.

"Cas… Buddy… This isn't you…"

Cas turned his head. Dean could see it out of the corner of his eye. There was that look again. Big Droopy the Dog eyes and a tilty head. Dean didn't look at him while he spoke. His neck was hot and his palms were sweating. Finally, he turned his head to meet those freaking intence angel eyes. He felt like Cas was trying to dissect him, figure him out. Dean didn't fully comprehend that he was gazing back, calf brushing up against the angel's vessel. Their eyes were locked. He started to feel vulnerable and his green eyes darted away from the wide, sparkly sapphire ones.

"Cas …"

Did his voice just break? He murmured all raspy and crap like he was trying to seduce a woman.

"I need you…"

And there it was. He hadn't meant to say it until it had ejected itself from his lips. He didn't even realize that he did until he said it out loud. Yeah… he totally needed the angel and it was so effed up… But hell if Cas wasn't… Well… Cas made him so happy… It was kind of selfish but there it was. He needed the scrawny little guy like he needed to eat and it was totally weird but oh so awesome. There Cas was, giving him one of those looks. He didn't even need to talk. Dean knew what he meant.

"Cummon…"

Dean stood up, grumbling awkwardly. The thick tension dissipated slightly. Only slightly because Dean held out his hand and Cas took it and let Dean help him up.

"Let's get inside."

Cas left his sandwich and followed Dean, enrapt and obedient. Dean stopped and the Angel stopped a little too close behind him. He had stopped caring how close Cas got almost a year ago. He could feel Cas's breath on the back of his neck. Cas didn't move, waiting patiently.

"Hey Cas?..."

"Yes Dean?"

Dean turned around, careful to avoid unnecessary contact. Cas's eyes had grown softer and adoring.

"Can I kiss you?"

Castiel blinked a couple of times. That was another thing that Dean really hadn't thought he wanted until he asked for it. Yeah, he did want to make some kissy face with Cas! Maybe he had for a while. Why hadn't he even considered it before it fell out of his mouth?

"Yes Dean, you may…"

The angel's lip twitched and he gave Dean that tiny smile. Cas's eyes remained open and watchful. Dean cupped the back of his head, aware of trembling wings. Cas's eyes flickered down to his mouth. Dean ran his free hand over the base of one of the sensitive wings and along the bone. He snorted softly, pleased that he had gotten the entire vessel to tremble. Their lips were touching, but he tormented Cas a moment longer.

"Dean…"

Castiel almost frantically whispered.

"Do not tease me…"

Dean obeyed for once, claiming the angel's mouth. He pressed against the sinewy body, running a hand through one of his wings. He savored the warmth and closeness and that hot, wet mouth demanding more. Who knew angels tasted so good? He needed to breathe… who cared, he had a nose for that. Cas sighed, pulling him closer with desperate arms. Dean threw his head back and gasped for breath.

"I… like kissing…"

Cas sighed, arms still firmly clamped around Dean's waist. He was wearing a rare smile, eyes soft and blue and so damn pretty. Cas was looking at him and, for the first time in weeks, he was lucid, connecting the dots. He really looked at Dean, staring with that intense, Angel of the Lord unblinking gaze. Cas was back in town. Dean held him for a few moments, resting his chin atop his permanent bed head. He felt like a little girl. Pretty much any homophobic name could have been thrown at him and he would have agreed, but Cas needed him and well… damnit, he needed the feathered bastard too.

"Yeah…"

Castiel was not a very physical being. I liked spiritual closeness best, but his vessel was very sensitive right now and any closeness seemed to feel amazing. Not to mention that it was _Dean_. He was glad that Dean did not mind.

"Hey Lovebirds, do you mind getting a room?!"

Bobby barked from where he had been passing the open doorway. Dean threw his head and laughed.

"I have a love-life Bobby. Do you?"

Bobby just shook his head, pulling a face.

"Idjit…"

Bobby, Sam, and Deanhad to follow another important lead the next morning. Apperantly, the three horsemen of the apocolipse were runnung a muck. Dean really had a hard time convincing Cas to stay put. At the end of the day, he selfishly wished Cas would have come. He knew that Cas wouldn't be able to resist famine and he shuddered to think what might happen with War and Death. He still kind of missed Cas, but it was better this way.

It was late when the three men returned to Ellen's place. Dean was eager to get into bed. Dean stood outside of his open door. The lights flicked on seemingly on their own.

"Hello Dean…"

Cas was sitting up, wings rustling happily. He had taken to going shirtless during the night recently. Something about being able to feel temperature. Dean did not mind actually. Bobby seemed to be the only one who minded really. Cas would have gone nude if they hadn't explained that that was kind of inappropriate.

"Hey… What are you doing up so late?"

And more importantly, that are you doing in my bed? Dean asked as he shucked his bag and shucked his jacket.

"I heard your car."

Cas stated as if that was the only answer that particular question. Dean unbuckled his belt and let his old jeans fall gracelessly to the floor. He looked up again when he was standing there in boxers and a wife beater tank top. Their eyes met the way they had a million and one times before.

"Dean…"

Dean's mouth was dry.

"Come to bed… You look tired…

Cas tilted his head to one side, eyed shining with adoration. Dean didn't really need asking twice, even though the little voice in his head told that he was about to cuddle this guy body and that that was pretty icky.

"I thought you'd never ask."

He grinned like a big dork and crawled, slowly into bed with the angel. Oh man he was in bed with an angel. Cas snuggle up to Dean. Dean liked the feel of his warm feathers and soft skin. He let his hands trace over Cas's back, all smoothness under his fingers. Cas nuzzled into his neck. Dean felt the scratchy softness of Cas's stubble. Cas wrapped a wing around Dean like a blanket. He wanted to stay up, to draw out the feeling, but he was so tired…

Dean was not in the habit of waking up slowly and staying in bed until all hours. He required four hours… Four. But today, he found himself blinking awake, unwilling to move from the warm skin and slippery feathers. He was half hard, but who wouldn't be with that unclad body wrapped tightly around them? Nobody, that's who. Dean rubbed a lazy hand over Cas's side and up his front. He lingered a little around his stomach. It was hotter than the rest of his body and the definition was gone from his abdominal muscles. He couldn't call it a bump, but he would. He considered this showing. Cas was skinny, but his muscles were defined throughout his entire body. The little bit of definition that had gone away was proof enough for Dean that there was a baby in there. Cas had told him that it was creating its own vessel, since it was half human.

Dean sighed and reached up to straighten some of the feathers had been mussed the night before. He heard the low rumble of Cas's voice as he hummed a little.

"Good morning Dean…"

Dean met his startling blue gaze.

"Mornin'…"

Dean kissed him slowly, Cas was all warm and sleepy and his body was so relaxed. He was more than willing to kiss all morning. Dean would have loved to be wrapped up in glowy happiness and angel wings and warmth until it was an obscene hour of the day. Cas, apparently, had no intention of letting him leave, so he had a good excuse. Cas pulled Dean atop his vessel, tickling him with flight feathers.

"Cas, common… I need a shower…"

Dean grumbled, not wanting to leave.

"May I join you?"

Cas's wings chased over his back. Damn that felt too good.

"I can't carry you this time."

Dean flirted comfortably.

"There is no need. I am strong enough now that I can carry you if needed."

Cas stated absentmindedly. Dean laughed as he pulled on a change of clothes for walking to the shower.

"No, no Cas! We're walking!"

Dean wore a rare smile, taking Cas's hand.

Dean could not remember the last time he had been this happy. It was all sloppy kisses and blue eyes and softness. Cas was so limber and soft and sweet when he wanted to be. That was the best part; the willingness to accept the physical affection. It still felt too good to be true. He was just so high with his heart pounding, the hot water beating down on his skin, the taste of Cas's skin. Cas was all trembling and sexy with slippery feathers moving over Dean's skin as he made his way down that gorgeous (if very male) body. Down, letting his fingers trail over the hairs that lead to that hard cock. Dean had truly believed that he would never hold another guy's cock in his hand. Here he was so high that he didn't care. It was not bad or gross the way he might have imagined. It was just hot and sensitive. Cas had taken hold of his shoulders with his hands, braceing himself against the tile with his wings. He was quiet and breathy as he called out for Dean over and over again. His voice had become frantic gasping and sighing it.

"Dean…"

The angel pressed himself close to Dean's body, demanding more kisses. Dean made eye contact with him, realizing that Cas had never looked away. He pressed a slow, lingering kiss to the angels mouth and squeezed as he pulled upward. Cas made a very small, very happy sound against his mouth and he was cumming all over his stomach and Dean's hand. His first orgasm… Dean pulled away a little, trying to memorize that face that Cas was making. His eyes were half lidded and his lips was parted just a little. His cheeks were flushed and he looked at Dean in a way that made him distinctly uncomfortable (cuz that's new). It was his eyes that did it. They practically said "I'm yours, all of me…" Cas could get so mushy sometimes and he didn't have to say a damn word… Dean kissed his lips again, softer this time… He didn't have to say a word either…

They spent the rest of the shower grooming and kissing. Cas was more than happy to let Dean wash his wings. He hummed in gravel tones as Dean's hands slid through his feathers. Dean couldn't remember if he had ever found anything so adorable and sexy at the same time.

When Dean finally made his way downstairs, everyone looked up at him, then shared in meaningful glances.

"Well hi to you too."

Dean grinned, good naturedly. He had an idea of what was happening. Cas had been _loud_. There was loud and then there was Cas loud. Dean had honestly enjoyed the responsiveness. The others had to have heard him. Dean was fine with that. He was still all warm and fuzzy from angel touches. He made himself some coffee and waited. Sam coughed awkwardly as Dean walked from the coffee machine to the table.

"So Dean… Cas is feeling better…"

Dean nodded, sipping the fresh brew.

"Yup. A whole lot better."

"So next time you are gonna put a sock on the door right?"

Sam ducked prepared to shove him off his chair. Sam had been woken be a full bladder and he had wandered down the hall when he had heard the shower running and the soft mule of his brother's name it that gritty angel voice. At least the volume was low.

"You are such a bitch…"

"Jerk…"

Dean had no intention to hide anything. There was a snort from where Bobby sat at the end of the table.

"Idjits…"

Cas ambled down stares wearing a tiny smile and a Metallica T-shirt that he had blatantly stolen from Dean's bag. He slid in-between Bobby and Dean, still looking a little mussed up from the mornings' lessens in human intimacy.

"Hello…"

He greeted the room hoarsely. Dean handed Cas a mug of cocoa, which he accepted wordlessly. Their eyes lingered on each other for a moment longer than generally necessary. Dean finally let go of the mug, letting their fingers brush. There was a very low glowing heat surrounding Cas. He was literally glowing. Sam snickered, shattering the moment. This time, Dean did manage to shove Sam off of his chair.

_Bitch._


	6. Defending Your Life

[WARNINGS: Mpreg, Pregnant Castiel, Extreme Lonliness, Abandonment Issues, Mentions of Alchoholism, Eye Sex]

Chapter 6: Defending Your Life

_I'm an angel with a shotgun,  
>fighting 'til the war's won,<br>I don't care if heaven won't take me back.  
>I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe.<br>Don't you know you're everything I have?  
>..and I want to live, not just survive, tonight.<em>

_... And I'm gonna hide my wings tonight._

_They say before you start a war,  
>you better know what you're fighting for.<br>Well baby, you are all that I adore,  
>if love is what you need... a soldier I will be.<em>

It was April first, the traditional prank day according to human tradition. Castiel was comfortable in an armchair next to the fire. Dean sat next to him on the Couch. Sam was on the other side of the Couch. They had booked a room at a "lodge" which was a nice way of saying rustic motel with a fire place and log cabin look. They had _Dirty Dancing_ on because that was one of the movies that Sam and Dean could agree on

Castiel shifted in his chair. He was actually starting to look a little pregnant now. He could fly again without vomiting most of the time. He had heard whispers over Angel Radio from those who had not chosen to shut him out just yet. Heaven had given orders to hunt him down. The idea was to capture him on sight or kill him if the need arose. There were also mentions of Sam and Dean. He was surprised that they were still sitting so calmly…

"Dean, Sam…"

"Hold up Cas, one sec… This is the best part…"

Cas watched with no interest as the music started and the young man demanded that "nobody puts baby in a corner." Maybe that was why Dean called his car Baby… Maybe she was just his baby…

"It's important."

Castiel thrust his chin forward defiantly.

"Sorry…"

Dean turned off the TV

"What's up?"

Castiel couldn't look at Dean. He couldn't look at him and say what needed to be said, so he just wouldn't make eye contact.

"My presence is endangering your safety…"

Dean leaned back, green eyes narrowed. Sam's face showed obvious concern.

"Heaven has seen fit to put a bounty out on me. I have disobeyed and a half human is considered to be a blasphemy. I do not wish to put you in harm's way…"

"Shut up Cas!"

Castiel raised his eyes for the first time. Their gaze was heated. Castiel practically pleaded.

"I said no! I'm not letting you two go off on your own, especially not now!"

It was sweet that Dean was so protective but Castiel had his mind made up.

"I care for nothing but your safety Dean."

Castiel stated flatly.

"The child is half angel. It will not go down easy and neither will I."

"I think…"

Sam interjected.

"Dean thinks… We both think that you are both safer with us. If we have each other, we can protect each other, right?"

Castiel gave the brothers his patented tilt and squint. Sam did have a point. He would stay for a while longer but… But he shouldn't… The truth of the matter was that he cared for the Winchesters too much to put them in danger. The thought of putting Dean in danger was too much for him to handle. He would know if Dean needed him… Dean always prayed when he did… He would always come when Dean called… Always… Castiel loved him, There was no beating around the bush there. Castiel glanced around at the room, wanting to memorize its warmth and light because he had made up his mind. His soul ached at the thought of what he was about to do.

"I'm sorry…"

"Cas!"

Dean stood, but Castiel had spread his wings and vanished. He would not see Dean angry with him… Dean swiveled around and punched a hole in the wall.

"DAMNIT CAS!"

The Winchesters didn't bother looking for Cas. An angel who did not want to be found was simply not going to be found. Dean had tried to conceal it, but Sam had noticed his habit of binge drinking had intensified once more. Dean had shut down and shut him out. He insisted on a strict "No chick flick moment" policy and had even refused to share and care in his Baby after a hunt. Sam secretly called Bobby and Ellen, filling them in on what happened and how Dean was, or rather wasn't coping.

Castiel was healthy and had enough Grace to remain invisible. He stepped in on Dean every now and again to check on him. His soul was as beautiful as ever, but Castiel never stayed long. It was his fault that Dean was so sad, so lost. He couldn't show himself and get Dean's hopes up… Castiel was very aware of Dean's issues with people flitting in and out of his life. If he appeared to Dean, he wanted to stay for a while… He did not want to feed Dean's abandonment issues. Castiel was blind to the fact that he already had. He was supposed to stay, but he had flown away, confirming Dean's fear that nobody would stay with him. He was not a man one stayed with. That was what Castiel had effectively told him. One Thursday night, while Castiel was stabbing Demons who had infested a tiny California farm village, he heard a familiar voice amongst the prayers.

_Hi Cas. Its Sam. So I'm not really hip to how you and Dean do this, but Dean is hurting. He'll hate me for doing this, but he needs you... He won't pray himself because he's convinced that you don't care about us anymore. I think he thinks that you gave up. I have a feeling that that's the opposite of true. Cas, if he could shelter you from this, if he could take it all on his shoulders, I know he would. The least you can do is let him know that you are both ok. I wanna know that you're both ok too…_

Castiel's eyes stung as he pulled his angel blade from the last of the demons. A small crowd began to gather around him, whispering about the amazing Trench Coat Angel. He rolled his eyes. Like he needed a nickname. Castiel fumbled in his pocket and retrieved his flip phone. Sam and Dean had bought it for him. He couldn't hold out much longer. There was a primal itch, a need... He was just so… Incomplete and cold… Castiel hit the call button and waited, pushing past people who were beginning to talk at him. His damned "social skills" were getting really "rusty." As Dean would say.

"Cas?"

Sam had answered his primary phone.

"Hello Sam."

Castiel lifted himself into the air and perched on top of the roof of someone's old truck. He was getting tired and there was nowhere to sit.

"Cas, we've been worried sick…"

"I'm sorry."

Castiel was. He wanted to be snuggled up, warm in Deans bed, hand fitted atop his brand. He wanted lazy co-co filled mornings and shared diner food on the road. He wanted to stay up all night watching re- runs of mindless soaps with Dean. He was starved for affection robbed of warmth. He missed the purr of the impala and the cassette tapes Dean played. He missed Dean's off key singing and humming as his favorite rock and roll blared through his Baby's speakers. He missed the way the brothers would bicker and call each other names. He missed mutual grooming of hair and wings. Longed to gaze at Dean and have him gaze back, communicating with his green eyes. He missed the morning kisses and the endless American drive. He missed _Dean_. He was sorry, but he could go without. If Dean was safer for it, he would make the sacrifice.

"I know you are."

Sam said with just a touch of acid.

"How is he…?

Castiel couldn't stop himself. His gravelly voice sounded far more vulnerable than an angel should ever sound.

"How do you think Cas?"

Sam didn't sound angry with him. His words just came out as a worn out sigh.

"I am to take it that his functional alchaholism has become less functional?"

There was a tight ache in Castiel's chest. Dean didn't deserve to hurt like this and it was because of him.

"You know I love him very much Sam. I would not have left if I did not care. He cannot be my shelter. I have to be his. It's his turn to have someone watching out for him. If he thinks I have given up on him, then he is sourly mistaken. I believe in Dean more than I believe in myself."

Castiel paused.

"I gave up everything and disobeyed. Now I am hunted by my family. It is all because I believe in Dean. I just want you to understand that I have no home now because I have not given up."

Castiel knew he was being hormonal. He sat atop the Car, watching the sky darken. It had only been a few weeks, but it felt like a year since he had seen the Winchesters.

"For what it's worth, I believe in you too Sam. You have made mistakes, but you are making up for it. "

There was another silence.

"Dean needs to hear you say all this stuff. He won't listen to me anymore."

Castiel watched a star fall from the sky and prayed that it was not one of his siblings falling to Earth.

"Goodbye Sam."

Castiel hung up, a deep, cold, sadness enveloped him. It was so quiet… Castiel let himself become invisible with no one but the child for company.

Castiel was perched atop a clock tower. His worn shoes scuffed as he fidgeted. Nobody could see him. It was better that way. He was just chasing a lead. Usually, Sam would slip him leads in secret. This one he had found himself. He was good with Demons and Spirits. Sam knew that, but Sam had only been slipping him leads concerning things on which they needed help or concerning ghosts. Castiel was happy to help, disposing of the bones and leaving the scene spotless. Most of the time, humans did not even realize he had been there at all. This week, he was hunting the spirit of a girl who was tied to the clock tower. She had only died twenty four hours ago, so all Castiel had to do was follow the officers on the case and eavesdrop on the coroner. He just dropped in on the family and a few important friends. Her boyfriend too. He had followed the mother to the spot where the girl was to be buried. This way, he would know where to go when he had all of the information he needed. From what he gathered, the girl and her boyfriend had met at the clock tower. He had propositioned her, but she had said no. When He used force, she hit her head on a sharp part of the clock's internal mechanisms and died quickly. Her spirit was angry and had become vengeful. Her attempts to kill her boyfriend had become increasingly violent. Castiel had approached the young man, visible this time. He had given the boy a chance to help him put the poor child to rest. The young man had not believed hem and so Castiel had disposed of her remains himself. She had screamed and cried the whole time. How could he do this to her? Didn't he understand that she had been wronged? Castiel had just watched sadly. He did not wish for her to be in pain. He told her that she was going home soon. He hoped that he was right. That was how he had gotten here. He had to take that bit of the clock out and salt and burn it too. Castiel sighed. He was becoming increasingly slow and foggy in the head. He squinted until his (what Dean called) 'built in Luminal' showed him where the girl had hit her head. Castiel removed the bit of clock using telekinesis. He went out back to salt and burn it when he heard a prayer.

_Cas, buddy… I know that you think what you are doing is the right thing and stuff… Cas, I need you here man…. _

Castiel stared at the Smoldering bit of metal with big, basset hound style eyes. Dean had prayed to him. After three months of nothing, Dean was praying… Castiel waited until the flames dissipated.

_Please… We're in Portland Oregon… Staying at this place called The Owl. Room 20B._

Dean had barely finished speaking when Cas appearedinches from his face. Crap is Cas didn't look pregnant… It was July… Cas had discovered he was expecting in December… Eight months… He looked more like four or five, not that Dean was an expert or anything. The two of them just stood staring at each other for what felt like an hour. Cas was here… Making one of those stupid doe eyed Cas faces. Dean wasn't going to tell Cas he missed him, but Cas seemed to know… Cas always seemed to frickin' know…

"Hello Dean…"

Cas whispered, the sound was like, well, like angels singing, for lack of a better comparison.

"Hey…"

He was whispering too… The air in the room was thick and hot and messing with his voice. His hand moved slowly until it rested against the small of the angel's warm back. Dean pulled him forward, feeling the brush of his baby bump first. It was hot against his stomach. They didn't say anything for a while. They didn't have to. And then Cas was attacking his face, kissing too hard for too long. He made a strangled sound that may have been a hiccup or a sob. Dean really couldn't take it any more either. His hands were on Cas's scruffy face, pulling him forward even though there was nowhere to go. His stubble rasped against Dean's calloused palms. His wings wrapped themselves around Dean, frantic to keep him close, not to let him get away. Dean pulled his head back and gasped for air, trying to keep his breathing semi-steady.

"Don't. Ever."

He spoke in between chaste kisses.

"Do. That. Again."

Castiel trembled, unable to go anywhere.

"Hey… So we've been looking for Michael's sword…"

Dean spoke conversationally, though neither of them had let go yet.

"I figured you'd wanna know. Zacheriah paid us a visit. Turns out that we're as much of a risk to you as you are to us. Maybe more…"

Cas's eyes were wide. Dean wished he would stop looking so frightened.

"It's ok Cas jeez…"

Dean rubbed his rough cheek with his thumb.

"Sam is Lucifer's vessel. Zacheriah says I'm Michael's vessel. So there really isn't any point in you running off. In fact, you can if you want to cuz that dick might just show up again. Don't want you to get hurt."

Cas narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"I'm not leaving again Dean… I have to watch over you…"

Dean laughed loudly.

"I was thinking I would look out for you."

"If that makes you feel better…"

Dean snorted, resting his chin atop Cas's messy head. Cas was bitchy today… That was OK. He was still Cas and he was here.

"Dean?"

Cas stared at him with angel death eyes.

"The child…"

Dean had suspected for a while, maybe even hoped…

"It was your soul… I just thought you should know…"

They bumped foreheads. Dean had always wanted to be a dad, have a family… He hadn't exactly figured that he'd have a half angel family, but his life was weird. he'd actualy given up on having one at all.

"Yeah…"

Dean squeezed just a little bit tighter.

"I know…"

Was all Dean had to say. It was true… He just did…

[End Note: Usually, my policy is; If I have to say anything, I'm not writing it well enough. There are a few comments I would like to add. Castiel actually has dominion over solitude, which I thought was fitting. I thought it would make sence that he would be drawn to be alone, even if he didn't truely want to be away from Dean. I also don't feel like these two would say "I love you." At least not to each other or at first. Cas is probably more prone to saying something goopy like that, but probably not to Dean's face. I also feel like a more subtle way of saying "you are my baby daddy" would be more their style, despite Cas's lack of subtlty. See you soon. I'll be adding warnings and notes to the rest of the chapters pretty quick here.]


	7. The French Mistake

[Author's note: This is my take on the French Mistake episode. I still apologize for nothing. Just don't take this chapter super seriously. I think it is important because of all of the crap Cas to go through before the events in the next chapter. It gives him more of a motive in chapter 8. It isn't a filler, but it isn't my favorite either.

WARNINGS: Mpreg, Pregnant Castiel, Actual Vomiting, Vomiting Blood, Problems with Pregnancy, General Mind Fuck]

Chapter 7: The French Mistake

_Afraid to lose control  
>And caught up in this world<br>I've wasted time, I've wasted breath  
>I think I've thought myself to death<em>

_I was born without this fear  
>Now only this seems clear<br>I need to move, I need to fight  
>I need to lose myself tonight<em>

Castiel had just woken up in _The Owl_ _Motel_. Dean and Sam had gone out to check out a lead. Dean was worried that the other angels would try to use Cas as leverage. He had insisted that Cas stay inside. Zacheriah was here… Castiel could feel his Grace invading the grounds of the motel. Castiel stood up, pushing himself slowly from a sitting position on the bed. Dean and Sam had just left, insisting that he stay. It had been about a year now and he had what passed as a beer belly. He dawned Jimmy's old coat to hide it most of the time. He had no desire to draw attention to the child. Castiel spread his wings and gently glided over the parking lot. He landed, a little clumsily. Zacheriah was talking to Sam and Dean, outside of the impala. He only heard a snippet of their conversation before Dean caught sight of him. Their eyes met and Dean gazed pleadingly at Castiel. His stare was weighted and Castiel narrowed his eyes. Dean wanted him to go back to the room, but it was too late. The other angel had caught sight of him. Zacheriah smiled and waved at him. Castiel simply glared. Zacheriah flicked his hand a little and Castiel went flying into their motel room window.

Castiel was lying on a wooden floor covered in rubbery bits. He was blinded by hot light and deafened by the sound of people clapping. He sheilded his eyes and squinted.

"And Cut!"

"That was great! Really, great!"

Castiel stood to see a croud of people and equiptment. He stared around, lost and perplexed.

"Alright guys, thats lunch!"

Castiel was guided to sit in a wooden and fabric chair. He used his wings as a cocoon. He was uncomfortable, nauseated, groggy and a little hungry. A strange young wonman began to fuss with his hair. She wouldn't stop touching him

"Good job Misha! See you after lunch!"

Castiel waved her off irritably before he caught sight of a familiar face.

"Sam!"

The extremely tall man stopped, then altered his path

"What's up Cas?"

"Where are we?..."

Castiel looked sideways at the stranger lady.

"What's going on?..."

Castiel was relieved, finally, someone he knew… His wings relaxed a little, still fluttering nervously.

"Well I think that we are in an alternate dimension-"

"That explains it!"

Castiel's eyes were the size diner plates.

"I have to get back to Dean! He is about to do something drastic if I do not stop him!"

Sam stood there for a moment, looking put out.

"Did they put out new pages?"

Sam rolled his eyes and fumbled with a packet of paper.

"Dude, Misha, wrong lines. We aren't doing that scene today anyway. Today we are filming where you return from being missing for almost a full season with the baby on the way."

Castiel was lost. Sam wasn't Sam. Sam was an actor who played Sam… He wasn't Misha… Misha played Castiel… Castiel had a sudden urge to vomit. He made it to the trash can mostly by shoving people out of the way.

"Hey man, are you sick?"

The actor was nice enough.

"Misha, you should tell Robert. I bet he'd let you off if he has proof."

"I am not this "Misha"…"

Castiel dabbed his mouth with Jimmy's coat. This must be how humans vomit. It was so much worse than he had expected.

"I am Castiel…"

He stood up a straight as he could, chin jutting out defiantly.

"Angel of the Lord… I do not know how I got here, but I must get home to Dean..."

The actor playing Sam, a man named "Jared," and the actor playing Dean, whose name was "Jensen," did not believe him. Neither did the director or producer. It was a good thing that he was meant to be wearing a fake pregnant belly and animatronics wings. He was afraid of what would happen if he were asked to remove them. Durring lunch, he was given a fresh copy of the script, but he was in a hormonal fog and kept forgetting his lines. He was also worried about Dean and what he would agree to. He figured that Zacheriah was keeping him here as ransom bait so that Dean would say yes to Michael. When it came time for Castiel and the man named Jensen to do close ups. Castiel was at his best. This man was wearing Dean's face. It was easy for him to express love with a gaze without cracking. The actor seemed to have a sense of humor however. During one of his "takes" Jensen wiggled his eyebrows, making a face that Dean only made when he was communicating via eye contact that they head upstairs.

"This is hardly the time for flirtation Dean…"

He blurted out. Castiel had forgotten that this was not Dean. The expression had been so characteristic of Dean, that he had been lulled into believing it was him. Jensen didn't seem to be expecting that response. Castiel turned away feeling cranky. Hemrolled his eyes.

"I hate this…"

He muttered in gravel tones.

"Cut!"

Castiel did not find it hard to doing the "close up" staring scenes. He did, find it difficult to get through the shots where Jensen had to touch his baby bump. He held very still, trying not to vomit on the actor. It wasn't fair. Dean adored his, what he called "pregnant part." Dean didn't like anyone else touching it. Castiel tended to let Jo and Ellen do it anyway when they were so inclined. Sam had even asked once. This was different, downright violating. The baby was restless today. Castiel was hoping that the child would stay still for these shots. He had no such luck. Jensen must have felt it because his eyebrow twitched during a couple of shots. Castiel admired his composure. He knew that the actor was not Dean, but they were identical, so he felt just a little less violated.

Jensen approached him in his "makeup chair" after they were finished. He was sitting quietly while the young lady in front of him removed the makeup he had not been aware of wearing. He was in a fog really, so when the man approached him, he had to remind himself not to address him as Dean.

"You're done Mr. Collins."

The makeup woman made to leave.

"Thank you."

Jensen apparently had a few questions. Acording to him, Misha usually laughed when Jensen flirted with him on camera and Misha was never nice to his makeup people.

"I have explained myself…"

Castiel kept eye contact.

Jensen cut right to the chase.

"Is there actually something in there?"

Castiel coughed again, his chapped lips moist.

"You look just like Dean…"

Castiel tilted his head to one side.

"Yes…"

He added after a delirious moment.

"There is a child."

"Bye guys!"

It was Gabriel's voice and face, but Castiel knew it couldn't be Gabriel.

"Hey Richard, guess what!"

Richard ambled over, looking so much more pleasant than Gabriel ever did.

"This is Castiel, if you can believe that."

Castiel felt like a side show act.

"I am in no mood to be the object of your amusement."

Castiel raised his eyes at the actors.

"I only ask for assistance getting home. You can laugh at me once I'm gone."

He coughed again, wings shuddering.

Richard was actually very nice to him. He brought Castiel back to Misha's trailor.

"You look exactly like Misha… How did you get here?"

It was strange that this person didn't automatically assume that Castiel was Misha and that Misha had either snapped or was playing a prank.

"You look exactly like Gabriel."

Castiel rolled onto the couch. He curled up into a ball and let his wings drape where they may. The phone in Castiel's pocket buzzed. He fished it out

_Where the hell are you!?-_Dean

Castiel talked as he texted back.

"I was sent here by an angel named Zacheriah. I believe that I am being used as leverage to get Dean to give consent to being Michael's vessel."

_I do not know. An alternate universe where our lives are a TV show. –_Castiel

_ Well, your life. – _Castiel

_ Don't say yes. -_ Castiel

"Brutal…"

Richard tossed him a blanket.

"I'm gonna see what Misha has in the fridge. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Portraying you was really a big break for him."

Richard disappeared only to be replaced by Jensen who had entered the unlocked trailer.

_Miss you –_ Dean

"You look… awful… Do you need a doctor?"

Jensen sat down across from him awkwardly. Castiel's lip quirked just a little.

"You know that human medicine is not going to fix this."

It occurred to Castiel that the child might be attacking at his soul. Without his Grace at hand, it wouldn't have any other option.

_I miss you too Dean –_ Castiel

_Don't believe anything Zacheriah tells you. I'm alright. –_ Castiel

Castiel made eye contact with Jensen.

"I am grateful however. I did not expect anyone to believe me."

Jensen laughed.

"Yeah, well nobody did."

Castiel let his wing slide along the floor so that Richard did not trip. He had returned with pizza and some water bottles.

_That is such a sack of shit Cas! You always say that when stuff gets really bad! –_Dean

He practically inhaled the pizza that was presented to him. If he vomited, then so be it. Richard wanted to know more about Gabriel and Jensen about Dean. Castiel tried not to disclose anything that could be potentially dangerous.

"Gabriel doesn't like Dean as much as Sam. He is – was the messenger and the one to console with regarding parenting from point of conception onward. As of late, he has been visiting me a lot. He claims that he can't shake the itch to come say "hi." I have a feeling that he just has a need to be there for Angelic parenting matters. He does, however, have this nasty habit of showing up while Dean and I are in the midst of intimate acts. Sometimes I wonder if he does that on purpose."

Richard laughed and Jensen choked.

"Wait, you and Dean are a thing? Misha and I never played them like that…"

Castiel looked utterly perplexed.

"Dean and I are very much in love. Why do you think I voluntarily died for him? He is the reason why I began to express emotions and have doubts. I expect that you will take that into account next time you are portraying Dean."

There was an awkward silence filled with the sound of chewing.

"Misha is going to have a field day with this…"

Jensen muttered, taking a sip of water.

_I'll find a way out. Have faith in me Dean._ - Castiel

Castiel wanted to know what was happening in the show.

"Well…"

Richard explained.

"You have been absent for the latter half of the previous season. Then, during the premier, you materialize to Dean in a dream, right Jensen?"

"Yeah…"

"So then you disappear again. Gabriel becomes a more prominent character because the guys are looking for you and Gabriel knows how to find you. Something about miracles…"

"When an angel is with child, they send out a powerful positive aura that causes major miracles. They can be used to track that angel if one is knowledgeable. Gabriel has used that knowledge to find me before. So have Lucifer, Ariel, Sandalphon, Raphael, and Zacheriah. It has become a bit of a nuisance really."

It was beginning to hurt. The blood drained from his face.

"It's how I got here…"

Castiel felting dizzy and disoriented. He just wanted to go home and cuddle up to Dean.

"If I do not get back soon, Dean will no doubt say yes to Michael. Zacheriah knows that we won't last long in a place where I cannot access my Grace… He is using it to put Dean in a self-sacrificing situation…"

The two actors did not seem willing to speak.

"The child thrives on Grace. Without my Grace, it has resorted to a parasitic attack on my true form. The effects are what you see now."

_Damnit Cas_- Dean.

Castiel tightened Jimmy's coat, clutching his phone.

"Dean and I are sending texts back and forth…"

Castiel murmured, almost to himself.

"Try calling him."

Jensen suggested.

_Wait for a moment_ – Castiel

Castiel fumbled with the speed dial on his flip phone. He pressed the green button and bumped the speaker button with clammy trembling hands. He was very ready to stop being the damsel in distress. An Angel of the Lord should not have to deal with all of this crap.

"_Cas?! Where the hell are you?! Are you ok?! Gabriel can't find you!"_

Dean's voice was like a breath of fresh air.

"Hello Dean…"

Castiel sighed with a tiny smile. Jensen looked a little freaked out.

"_Damnit Cas!"_

"_Hi Cassie!"_

"Hello Gabriel…"

Castiel coughed again, missing his sleeve and soaking the Jimmy's dress shirt in blood. This time, Richard looked put off.

"_Cas!?"_

"I'm alright Dean."

"_If you say that one more time… I'lll- I'll break something!"_

Castiel blinked, forgetting to wipe the blood from his chin.

"I'm sorry Dean…"

"_It's not your damn fault! Where are you?"_

Castiel closed his eyes, clearing the fog from his mind.

"I have been sent to a universe where I cannot access my Grace. Has Zacheriah contacted you yet?"

"_Yeah… Hey, how come you can call me?"_

"I do not know."

Castiel was tired and did not want to think but that was not a choice.

"There may be a weak link between portals somewhere. Maybe near the spat I entered this placeor…"

Castiel did not believe he could fly out and check. He was dizzy and was not thinking clearly.

"Hey Jensen, could you look and see it the set was rebuilt or not?

Richard asked polightly. Jensen nodded and left without a word.

"_Hey is that ME?_"

Gabriel bellowed, apparently still there.

"no."

Castiel stated irritably.

"He is an actor who plays you. You are my brother, but believe me when I say that he is much more pleasant…"

"_Aw Cassssiiie! You WOUND Meeee!"_

Richard looked just a little horrified.

"_Anyway, you're found so bye."_

Castiel heard the static as Gabriel took flight. He attempted to stand up. It worked for about a minute, but then the room began to spin and Richard had to catch him.

"_Cas?!"_

"Yes Dean."

"_Next time I say stay put-"_

"Yes Dean…"

Castiel wrapped his wings around the actor using him as support. He probably wouldn't "stay put," but it was easier to agree. Castiel felt Ritchard's pants vibrate and Richard answered.

"Hey... Great... Yeah... Thanks."

Ritchard hung up and began leading a semi limp Castiel toward the door. Castiel puked a thick pool of blood as he was moved.

"Jensen says that the set has been rebuilt and that he needs to go home to his wife now. Whoa!"

"we have to move quickly..."

Castiel managed. He had been in this much pain before, he was just worried a out the Nephilim. The poor actor had to practicaly carry him back on set.

"I will never forget your kindness…"

Castiel squeezed the actors' arm before turning to his phone.

"Dean... Do you have to symbol ready?"

"Yeah!"

Castiel swayed as the symbol on the window glowed hot and he slowly allowed himself to fall forward. He felt a light push from behind and uttered a silent thank you. All went black to the sound of shattering glass.

Castiel could feel caloused hands caressing his wings as he slowly came to. It was Dean's soul. He could feel it. Castiel sighed happily. He could feel his Grace again. He had healed himself in sleep and the child's presence was back.

"Hello Dean…"

Everything was going to be alright. Dean had said no, so they were going to be alright…


	8. Are You There God? Its Me, Dean

[Author's Notes: This is one of the chapters of which I am certainly proud. I cried while reading it over (it happened twice...). Maybe I am just sentimental concerning Destiel. This is my take on The End or EndVerse. This is the chapter that gives the fic its name. ,There is a scene with 2009 Dean and 2014 Cas that resembles a songfic. I didn't have a title up until that point. It is important to note that Castiel has dominion over Solitude and Tears. Its just something to keep in mind. Remember that I tried to keep things canon, but not all of the lines are quoted word for word. This Chapter IS one of my favorites.

WARNINGS: Mpreg, Pregnant Castiel, Dean's Daddy Issues, Graphic Depiction of Violence, Mention of Dismemberment, Character Death, Nightmares, Drug and Alcohol Abuse, Mentions of Child Murder, Mentions of Suicide, Willful Endangerment, Abandonment Issues, Emotional Abandonment, Emotional Detatchment, Grief, Moarning,Victim Blame, Revenge, Physical Abuse, Hurt/Cumfort, Angst, Right in the Feels, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Awkwardness, General Mind-Fuck]

Chapter 8: Are You There God? It's me, Dean Winchester.

_Each day, I cry.  
>Oh, I feel so low from living high.<em>

_My heart would break without you,  
>Might not awake without you.<br>Been hurting low, from living high for so long.  
>I'm sorry, and I love you.<br>Sing with me, "Bell Bottom Blue."  
>I'll keep searching for an answer cause I need you more than dope.<em>

_I need you more than dope._

Sam and Dean were back from another hunt… A hunt that had turned out so terribly wrong. A young man had called John Winchester's cell phone and claimed that he was John Winchester's son. Dean and Sam had pulled out all of the stops to make sure that the young man was not a monster. Adam, which was the young man's name, did not appear to be a monster until he and his mother was digging around inside of Sam's wrists. As it turns out, Adam and his mother had been eaten by gouls. Gouls took the shape of whomever had been their last meal. The goul had told Sam that yes, Adam had belonged to John. That, apperantly, was why they had killed him. Dean was in need of a drink… He'd had a sort-of little brother for like two minutes and family was everything when you were a Winchester. But not his dad odviously...

He had left his bag in the car.

"Must be Thursday…"

He groused as he planted himself at the Roadhouse bar. Cas was there too, nibbling daintily at a sandwich. Dean moved to sit next to him.

"Hello Dean…"

Dean downed his beer and demanded another before turning back to Cas.

"Let's make sure that, after our kid is born, we watch out for them and stuff. We have to be there for them…"

Cas's subtle expression change indicated concern.

"Dean…"

"Just a bad hunt Cas…"

Dean made eye contact with the angel.

"What do you want to name it?"

The question was kind of out of the blue, but Dean wanted to talk about this now.

"It will have a name and know it, the same way I did…"

Cas stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah well, I wanna give it a human name too…"

Dean nodded in agreement with himself.

"Its half human so it should have a human name as well and an angel one."

Cas blinked.

"If that is important to you, then of course."

Dean smiled lopsidedly at Cas, the angel carrying his child.

"What about boy names? We can start there."

Cas did his old tilt 'n squint.

"Is gender that important Dean?"

Dean sighed and guzzled down his beer.

"For humans it's a pretty big thing."

Cas nodded, looking thoughtful.

"James."

He said after a moment.

"Jimmy gave up everything for me… It seems important that we remember him."

After a bit of discussion, Dean conceded and they continued to girl names. He'd had a few more beers and was feeling a pleasant buzz. His mind went to the flowers in front of the road house. Cas had made them and they were awesome.

"Daisy."

He nodded to himself. Cas sighed and stretched his wings out a little.

"That is a nice name…"

"And we have to watch out for it…"

"Alright Dean…"

Dean spent too much time at the bar. He could walk up the stairs, but they kept moving, which was annoying.

"Im jus gonna go git somthn' from th' car…"

Dean informed sleepy Castiel. He sidled on down to his Baby and opened the trunk.

"Hi Baby…"

Dean kept trying to get his bag from the trunk, but it kept moving. Stuff was doing that a lot tonight. He wanted to sit down for a second. Dean klimbed a little clumbsily into his baby. It would just be for a second.

When Dean woke up, he was in the Impala, and he was alone. He had had a drink or two or maybe nine or ten last night. He could have sworn that he had just gone out to get something from the Impala... He must have blacked out. Dean gazedin horror out of the cracked windshield. The word 'CROATOAN' had been painted over the wall with some sort of red paint... Oh no...

"President Palin Defends Bombing..."

Dean practically jumped out of his skin. He had honestly guessed that Zacheriah might have been the one behind this bulshit.

"Whatever kind of voodoo you pulled, zap me back you dick!"

"Well 'Hello' to you too Dean."

Zacheria folded his newspaper and proffered it to Dean. Dean made no move to take it, just scouling at the angel. Zacheriah shrugged.

"Its 2014. I'll give you a day to see how bad it gets."

"Nu-uh man! I ain't dancing this Tango!"

Zacheriah was gone. Dean swore loudly. He probably shouldn't have, because somebody clocked him over back of the head and he was out cold.

"Oh crap..."

Dean was staring at... Well, unless he was looking in some kind of fun house mirrir, another Dean.

"Hey... I'm not a demon or a shapeshifter or whatever..."

"I know, I did the drill while you were out... I did find one thing though, How is it that you carry the same switch blade I carry?"

"I'm you ok."

"Thats not possible..."

The other Dean retorted. Dean, the real fricking Dean, rolled his eyes and shook his head at his dopleganger.

"Fine. If you and I are the same person, tell me only something we would know."

A sex story he hadn't told anyone would peobably work.

"We were ninteen. She made us try on her panties. They were pink and satiny... and you know what?... We kinda liked it..."

His other self leaned back, looking almost impressed

"How?"

"Zacheriah..."

The other Dean glared. That was exactly how Dean was feeling right now...

"I'm from 2009."

Future Dean nodded, then made eye contact with him. His voice was stern.

"To show you how bad it gets..."

Dean nodded mutely.

"You've seen what its like outside?"

Dean nodded again, not having any words for the ocasion. 2014 Dean nodded to himself,persing his lips.

"Well it gets worse."

A sudden terrible thought occured to Dean and he had to ask.

"How's Cas?"

Dean was unsettled at the way his future self shrugged as if he didn't really know. He knew that look from the mirror. Future Dean was hiding something.

"Rest of the angels up and left. He's human now."

Future Dean's voice was light and conversational. It was highly unsettling. Dean nodded slowly.

"What about Sam?"

This was something his future self seemed to have and answer for, as if he had scripted it.

"There was a tussle in New Orleans a few months back. From what I understand, Sam didn't make it..."

"I'm taking some of the guys into town to pick up suplies."

2014 Dean pushed himself to his feet and made to leave 2009 Dean chained to the basment starewell.

"You can't just leave me down here!"

Dean protested loudly, rattling his handcuff in pure defiance.

"You don't know what its like! I have people depending on me! I've got a bunch of twitchy trauma survivers on my hands and the last thing they need to see is some skerewed up version of the Parent Trap!"

Dean pouted, making lots of noise with the mettal shackle.

"Just stay put!"

Dean did not stay put. He laughed at his future self inwardly. How could he tell himself to stay put. That was such a waste of energy. Dean wandered down the cleared dirt road, watching his back. He was creeping around gorilla style and it was awesome. Dean ducked carefully into a quiet hall with beaded curtains that chattered as he slipped inside.

"Son of a bitch…"

He swore quietly.

"Hello Dean…"

Dean whirled around at the familiar voise. Dean waved some stray beads out of the way. The voice belonged to a longer haired, bearded Cas… At least he looked like Cas… He was laughing silently as he stared Dean with wide, toothy smile. It lacked all meaning which was not like Cas at all. Cas was sitting in the middle of the wood panel floor in lotus position or some yoga crap. The room was empty but for Cas and Dean. Cas was holding the last of a joint using s hair clip.

"Cas…?"

Dean stepped forward slowly. Cas's eyes were empty and his pupils dilated.

"Are you Stoned…?"

Cas threw his head back and laughed. It was a humorless, hollow sound. Dean hated it.

"Why yes Dean. I am stoned."

He threw Dean a vacant smile and took another drag from his home made joint.

"2009 right? Honestly, I've been expecting you. It's 2014 now…"

Dean could see a boom box and neatly sorted box of cassettes in front of him.

"I was just about to play some music when you stumbled in…"

Dean was not aware of his Cas's taste in music, but groaned as the song started.

_I've heard there was a secret chord  
>That David played, and it pleased the Lord<br>But you don't really care for music, do you?_

"Seriously Cas? This winey emo crap?"

_The minor fall, the major lift  
>The baffled king composing Hallelujah<em>

Dean rolled his eyes. Through the corner of his eye, he saw Cas put out his joint in the floorboards.

"You always say that…"

His voice was breathy and hoarse. Dean moved so that he could see his face. Cas looked up at him with glassy eyes.

"Sometimes I play it when I know that you are around just so you can say it all over again…"

Cas half coughed, half laughed. Dean felt empty at that hollow sound.

_Baby I have been here before  
>I know this room, I've walked this floor<br>I used to live alone before I knew you._

Cas mouthed along, not minding that Dean was still standing there like an idiot. He was uncomfortable with the way Cas was staring at him.

_I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
>Love is not a victory march<br>It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

Something was missing…

"Hey Cas…"

Dean gulped.

"What happened…? Your wings…"

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

Cas didn't even hesitate. He just shrugged and pulled his shirt off without much warning. Dean hissed. He couldn't help it. Cas's shoulder blades were mangles with twisted, knotted scars. They matched where his wings had been. Dean sank down next to Cas, who was smiling humorlessly.

_And remember when I moved in you  
>The holy dove was moving too<br>And every breath we drew was Hallelujah_

He reached out and touched one of them. Cas flinched away.

"Who…?

"I don't know Dean… some demons on Lucifer's orders… It was really just touch and go the whole time. I don't really remember…"

Cas chuckled again even though the situation was anything but funny.

_Maybe there's a God above  
>But all I've ever learned from love<br>Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you  
>It's not a cry you can hear at night<br>It's not somebody who has seen the light  
>It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah<em>

Dean pressed his hands up against the scars, not letting Cas get away this time. Cas made eye contact with him and his eyes were just these hollow blue pits.

"Does it hurt…?"

"Yes."

Cas pushed his lips into a thin line and raised an eyebrow. Cas shook his head.

"With this many severed nerves, of course it does. Honestly, they just became ghost limbs, so it's like they aren't even gone…"

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
>Hallelujah, Hallelujah<em>

"This is depressing Dean. Come on."

Cas pushed himself up to his feet, sighing and stretching. He held his hand out to Dean expectantly.

"Dance with me."

Dean just blinked at him.

"What?"

"Oh common Dean!"

The two stared at each other. Cas gave Dean the "cummere big boy" eyebrow.

"Dean. You and I both know that I am going to win this staring contest."

_There's a blaze of light in every word  
>It doesn't matter which you heard<br>The holy or the broken Hallelujah_

Dean found himself conceding. Cas was gonna follow though! Cas seemed to have the same thing in mind. They were a little clumsy, but it was nice to hold him like this. Cas actually tucked his head up against Dean's neck. Dean tried really hard not to step on the angel's bare feet. After a while, it was warmth and breathing and swaying to the stupid pop song. It felt awesome though…

_I did my best, it wasn't much  
>I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch<br>I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you  
>And even though it all went wrong<br>I'll stand before the Lord of Song  
>With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah<em>

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
>Hallelujah, Hallelujah<br>Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
>Hallelujah, Hallelujah<br>Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
>Hallelujah, Hallelujah<br>Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
>Hallelujah, Hallelujah<br>Hallelujah_

When they broke apart, it was like someone had lifted a spell. Cas blinked bemusedly the same way he did when he woke from a nap. He looked awake, but confused as if he wasn't sure what was happening or how he had gotten there. Up until now, Dean had thought it was kind of adorable.

"Well I have the munchies…"

Cas pulled his shirt back on and padded to the doorway, looking back at Dean as if to ask him if he was coming.

"PB&J here I come…"

Dean couldn't help but give him a lopsided smile.

"I wonder if there are any bagels left."

Cas tilted his head, gazing ahead as if he could see the mountain of carbohydrates all toasted and smeared with cream cheese. He looked like Dean's Cas, but it didn't last long. As soon as the two of them reached to pantry door, Dean heard his own hardened voice bellowing.

"I told you to wait in the damn shed!"

Cas was grinning and giggling sickeningly. Dean supposed that a little Mary Jane might make this situation a bit humorous.

"You and I both know that we aren't good at following directions."

The future Dean just made a bitch face because it was true. He went with misdirection instead of fighting it.

"Cas, you can't keep eating all the food…"

Cas stuck his chin out defiantly. He looked downright smug.

"Considering tomorrow's mission, I didn't think it would matter…"

Cas turned his head a little, daring future Dean to say something. Future Dean just snorted in disgust and left without a word. Dean noticed how strained and tense his future self was acting around Cas. Cas just sighed and shrugged as if he didn't care, but his eyes were weary and sad.

Cas toasted himself and Dean bagels and shmeared them with cream cheese. He then went for the grape jelly, the enormous jar of peanut butter, and white bread. Cas's eating still managed to sound like a porno, even after five years. Dean bit his lip, barely containing his laughter.

"Take notes Dean…"

Cas winked in between bites.

"Grape jelly, not jam… That's delightful…"

Dean just watched him, abandoning his own food.

"Jam is just… Unsettling…"

Cas squinted at the sandwich and tilted his head a little. Then he nodded to himself and continued to chow down. Dean had wanted to ask him more questions, but he wanted Cas sober… He wasn't even sure that was going to happen at all…

Once the rest of Future Dean's following saw him, Dean was allowed to sit in on their meeting. It was tence and the room was cold. Apperantly, Future Dean was sending Cas and the rest of his following on some sort of suiside mission. Dean's chest hurt even more when Cas declared that he "liked past you." and Future Dean shot him a dirty look.

That night, he retired to Cas's room. They needed to talk. Really talk this time. He knocked against the door frame, rolling his eyes at the curtain of beads.

"Cas, we need to talk."

Dean shoved the beads out of the way to find Cas sitting on the edge of his bed cleaning his gun.

"Hi Dean. What would you like to talk about?"

Cas set his weapon down and made eye contact with Dean. He actually looked kind of lucid.

"What happened?"

Dean was pretty sure that he could have been more specific. Cas seemed to get it though. He gave Dean a small, honest smile.

"I'm sorry Dean. I don't know where to start."

Cas sighed and blinked rapidly.

"Oh, starting to feel something…"

Cas reached under the bed, pulling out a neatly sorted box of pills and a half full battle of scotch.

"Cas, can you stay sober for like, two seconds?"

"I don't know Dean, can you?"

Cas sassed.

"Hey… I know I drink sometimes…"

Dean closed the gap and pulled the substances from his loose grip.

"I just wanna talk first. That's all."

Cas sighed, rolling his eyes away, not wanting to look at Dean. He wasn't acting like Dean's Blackbird at all.

"I miss this."

Cas looked him in the eye, stone cold serious.

"You stopped caring. You haven't cared for a long time. Ever since Sam…"

He shrugged. There was deep cold sadness in his eyes. Dean rested his hand on Cas's shoulder.

"You became a man obsessed. You still are…"

Dean tried to catch his eyes. Cummon, look at me… He pulled Cas in and hugged him awkwardly. Cas stiffened in his arms. Dean rubbed his back, breathing him in and squeezing.

"Dean?"

This was as close to a sorry Dean was going to give. He felt wetness against his neck.

"She's dead Dean…"

Dean's hand stilled.

"Daisy… I don't suppose anyone told you… 'Present you' won't talk about it…"

Cas was trembling. Daisy was dead?... Dean's eyes burned and he closed them. He finally let Cas go and sat down. He felt cold. God, a girl… Cas was having a girl… Dean didn't have time to think on it because Cas attacked his face. It was wet and sloppy and salty, but Dean could tell by the desperate broken kiss that Cas needed him. He knew that look in Cas's blue eyes. He had not been able to grieve. Cas broke away, letting out a shaking breath. Dean allowed himself to give Cas a slow, gentle, lingering kiss. It seemed to calm the ex-angel considerably.

"Better?"

"Yes…"

Cas closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Dean's. Dean could see tears still falling over his cheeks.

"It was Lucifer… He decided that if he couldn't have her, he would just have to get rid of her…"

Dean dragged a thumb over Cas's cheeks, trying to get rid of some of the tears.

"It was the first thing he did after he took Sam… It's how we found out really…"

They'd had a girl… And the devil had killed her… He'd used Sam to do it too… Sam must have said yes...

"You shut me out really…"

He opened his eyes again.

"I think it hit you so hard that you don't actually care about anything but revenge. Whomever is unable to help is a liability… You were so angry when I lost my Grace… I was no longer much help, which made me a burdon I suppose… It doestn't matter anyway… I would follow you anywhere…"

Dean's heart broke right there. He pulled Cas in again, gentler this time.

"You won't have to…"

He growled into Cas's hair. They spent the night in Cas's room, kissing him until he fell asleep. Cas clung to him all night, waking periodically from nightmares he could not shake. At least Dean was there. He hated to think about how many nights his Blackbird had had to wake up from a nightmare alone, drinking himself back to sleep. Maybe he had a sleeping pill habit too…

"You haven't spent the night in here in years… Sometimes you'll come in for sex… but you never stay… I think that looking at me reminds you of her… And how I can't really do much to do her justice."

Dean promised him silently that he would never treat Cas like that. Cas was broken and couldn't ask for help. He had turned to chemical substances to numb the pain so that he could keep going.

"If I can't look at you, then I'm a damn coward…"

Cas gave a tiny smile and nuzzled into his neck.

"I love you too Dean Winchester…"

The next day was spent tracking Lucifer. It was heartbreaking to see his loyal friends walk into certain death. Cas knew he wouldn't live and he had practically told Dean that he did not mind. It made Dean physically ill to think that his future self would just throw his life away like that. Dean had memorized most of his subtle expression changes. This one bordered on relief. Still, he had to talk to future Dean.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Its Cas damnit! He won't live through this and you know that!"

His future self squared his shoulders and glared at him coldly.

"Yeah, but he's suicidal as all hell. At least this way, he can set off a few bangs before the lights go out. It's the only reason I didn't bust into his room last night. We were better at comfort back in the day. At least his last night would be happier."

Future Dean closed into his space.

"You have no idea how many times I've had to talk the son of a bitch down. You think I want him dead? There's a bigger picture here!"

The words stung. Dean let it go and sat next to Cas.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this…?"

His voice was all low and scratchy. The Ex- angel smiled at him with dead eyes.

"My child is dead. You stopped caring about me. My Grace is gone. The angels left me here. What do I have to live for?"

Dean couldn't speak. His chest was all tight and there was a lump in his throat. Cas planted a small kiss on his cheek.

"Sometimes… I wish I could change the past Dean… Do you want to hear the truth?"

Hell no, but he would listen if that's what it took.

"If I ever get a chance to live my life again, I won't choose your side…"

Cas was actually kind of lucid right now. His eyes were tired, but they bore into him like drills. Dean looked away… It hurt too much…

"Look at me."

Dean obeyed with great difficulty.

"I mean, what I've become, it's your fault."

Dean really would have preferred being stabbed in the chest to hearing those words.

"Do you remember? Once you begged me to help you and I did it because I thought it was the right thing…"

Cas paused and fished out an orange bottle from his pocket. He swallowed the pills without needing anything to wash them down. It was nauseating really.

"Because… I thought you-"

Cas was staring straight ahead wearing that sickening smile and shaking his head.

"But I was wrong… You failed and now 'present you,' our fearless leader, doesn't like me because I'm-"

Cas raised his hands and made little quotations around the word.

"-useless."

Dean went cold. He could actually see himself using that word, given the right circumstance.

"You just need _me_ Dean. That's _all_. Not _more_…"

Cas looked at him, pupils dilated so that there was barely any blue. He was still engaged and Dean wanted him to finish.

"So when you'er back in 2009, can you do me a favor?"

Cas waited until Dean nodded mutely. Cas gazed at him imploringly.

"Think about it and make sure that all this crap will never happen, okay?"

Dean nodded again. He meant it. Cas's eyes were all shiny. He leaned over and rested his head against Dean's shoulder.

"Please, make sure I don't become…"

His voice broke and he gestured around.

"_this…"_

Dean felt like he was gonna cry too, but he just bit his lip and blinked. He placed an arm around the broken thing that used to be his angel.

"Yeah… That's a promise…"

Dean was back in his car seated next to none other than Zacheriah. He had just seen himself die, listened to the gun fire that had ended Cas's life, and he had spoken to Lucifer while he was wearing Sam. Lucifer's words; 'All roads end here' echoed in Dean's head as if he were in some kind of shell shocked daze.

"You saw what's going to happen Dean… That is, you saw what's going to happen if you don't say yes…"

The dick of an angel paused.

"Michael is waiting…"

Dean gave him a pointed look.

"It's still a No! I won't let that happen! The future won't be that way! No!"

Dean blinked and Dick Face was gone. His phone vibrated and he hurried to grab it.

"Hey Cas."

"Dean! Where are you!?"

"My car…"

Dean began to laugh at how… well how Cas he sounded. He sounded whole and healthy. Damn, Dean was happy!

"It's not funny Dean."

He heard a soft click and the Angel was standing outside of his door. He was staring intently with big blue bedroom eyes. Dean leapt out of Baby and threw his arms around the feathered bastard. His wings were back. They felt so good under his hands!

"Don't… EVER… Change…"

Dean leaned back and inspected the angel at arm's length. Cas just blinked and nodded giving one of those half smiles Dean liked so much. Dean blinked. His eyes sparkled. This was more like it…

"Dean…"

Cas held his phone out.

"The voice says I'm almost out of minutes…"

Dean threw his head back and laughed.

"Cummon, get in the car."

Apparently it was 2am in the present, so Dean took Cas to their favorite twenty four hour diner for a pie and coffee breakfast. Cas insisted on Coco, but Dean really didn't mind. According to Cas, Dean had gone to the Impala to get something and hadn't come back. Both he and the car had just vanished. Dean shot Sam a text to let him know that he was ok. He shared only very vague details with Cas. He didn't tell Cas how he had fallen from Grace, been deserted by his family, and became addicted to pretty much every narcotic he could get his mitts on. Dean didn't tell him that Daisy was dead or even that they were having a girl. He just said something along the lines of: "It was 2014 and it sucked." Cas seemed to be ok with that answer.

"At least you said no."

Was really all Cas had to say. Dean didn't tell him, but he was starting to doubt if that had been wise. He was plagued by images of wide, empty blue eyes and the Devil all dressed up in Sam's skin. He watched Cas pick at his chocolate cream pie (cuz that's a good breakfast item…). Dean thought of how Cas had woken at least four times, sobbing into Dean's layers of plead. He had never seen Cas cry before… Cas cried quietly… It was the most pathetic thing he'd ever seen… He thought about how Cas had actually wanted it to end and how he had given his wallet full of warn out photos to Dean because: "I won't need them where I'm going…" Dean had taken one look at the crinkled photos and almost broke down himself. The first was of himself, Sam, and Dean around the Impala. He was sitting on it, leaning forward so that his wings had room. Dean had his arm around him, grinning lazily. Sam was leaning back against the car, mid-laugh. It had been taken in front of Ellen's, he could tell by the skyline. The second was a Cas without a shirt, blushing just a little. His belly was enormous and it glowed with an incandescent light. It looked the way colored lights reflected off of water. He was gorgeous… The third photo was of Cas, Dean, and a newborn resting against Cas's chest. Cas looked so blissed out and Dean was grinning like an idiot. The final pictures were all of Daisy. In one, she was just sitting in her car seat in the back of the impala. In another one Cas was holding her, mouth open as if he were saying something. He might have been singing. Another was of Dean holding her with big, watery eyes. One photo featured Bobby, the proud grandpa. Another was of Sam making big puppy eyes, head leaning towards Daisy. The last was of Dean helping her blow out a small candle atop a slice of pie. There were two others like it, except for the fact that Daisy was bigger each time. They had each been in a different diner… The photos had been worn from Cas's fingers stroking over them and the constant folding and unfolding. Dean kept the wallet with him now inside his breast pocket as he watched Cas nibble away at pie crust crumbs. He'd made a promise to the Cas from the future that he wouldn't let things get bad the way they had. He slid out of his bench and in next to Cas who gazed up at him with soft eyes. Dean took Cas's hand and snuggled up to him… Cas just stared at him, placing a wing around his shoulders.

"It's alright Dean…"

Cas squeezed his hand a little.

"You haven't touched your pie…"

Dean thought of Daisy and the picture of her first and only years of birthday pie. He had no appetite… Dean just nodded and picked up his fork. I promise Cas… You and I are gonna be ok… You are gonna keep your wings. Our child will live. Sam is gonna be ok. I'm always gonna care about you. I will always be able to look at you without being disgusted with myself. I'll spend every night with you whenever I can. You won't be suicidal. You'll live and want to damnit. I promise…

Dean was exhausted as he flopped down on his bed.

"Cas… Come to bed…"

He grumbled into his pillow, eyes tightly shut. He heard a static sound from the baby monitor. Cummon Daisy… He just wanted to sleep… Dean sighed and shuffled to Daisy's nursery… She had stopped crying, but she was staring up at the ceiling in rapt attention.

"What's up?"

Dean was about to pick her up, when something hot and wet dripped onto his head. He reached up to feel his hair. It was blood… Dean slowly raised his eyes to the thing Daisy had been staring at. He felt himself gasp. He couldn't speak. Cas's vessel was stuck to the ceiling, wings draping down the walls. His mouth was open and his eyes as wide and fearful as they had been the night Lucifer had kidnapped him.

"No!"

Dean shouted just as the fire engulfed Cas's scrawny body. Cas didn't make a sound. He just kind of quivered. All Dean could see was fire. He smelled pork burning. The memory of Cas crying out in Enochian that he was on fire was all too fresh in his mind.

"Cas!"

Dean woke sweating and shaking. He was pretty sure he was going to be sick. Lucky Cas slept like a rock. Dean watched him for a while… He watched and listened to Cas's whistling little snores. He had to do something…

"I'm just saying that it might not be a bad idea…"

Dean wasn't getting through to Sam that life might be better for everyone else if he became an angel condom.

"No Dean!"

Sam looked at Dean with wide panicked eyes.

"You can't!"

Sam leaned with most of his weight on the table, palms pressing into the wood.

"You think I want to Sammy?! You didn't see what I saw, ok! You'd consider it too!"

Sam's too-large body slumped into the kitchen chair.

"Dean… "

Dean heard footsteps behind him along with a soft rustle.

"I just think-"

The next thing Dean remembered was waking up handcuffed to the staircase of Ellen's basement pantry.

"DAMNIT CAS!"

He roared. Cas wouldn't understand. Sam, Bobby, Ellen, and Jo wouldn't either. He knew he'd do the same for them in a heartbeat, but it was infuriating. Dean heard a creak on the stairs. He followed the sound until he saw Cas, framed by the light spilling out the open door. He was boiling over with a radiant holy power. At first Dean couldn't speak, they just stared. Cas's eyes sparked with a cold blue light and his jaw was set. His brow was furrowed as he just stared down at Dean, not blinking once. If the situation had been different, it would have actually been a turn on.

"Cas, for what it's worth, the last person who looked at me like that… I got laid…"

Dean finally found his voice . He tried to flirt, but it wasn't working. He winked cheekily up at the angel who didn't even twitch. Cas just stood there, staring at him… Then Dean heard a soft sound and Cas was gone. Dean leaned back against the steps. He could get away if he really wanted to. He was an awesome pickpocket. He didn't really want to just yet. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of gigantic Sam boots descending the stairs.

"Hey Dean…"

Sam blinked at him pleadingly before pulling up a chair. Sam handed Dean a cold bottle of beer before opening his own.

"Do you want to talk about it?

"Not really in the mood for sharing and caring Sammy. Constantine just mind fucked me so on. Not really."

Sam dropped his head, staring at the bubbles in his beer.

"He had every right Dean… To be honest, he's pretty upset… We all are…"

Dean avoided eye contact with his huge little brother as he swigged at his beer.

"Yeah well I don't blame you guys. You were right."

Dean knew that Sam might catch his lie, but this time, he got lucky.

"If I let you out, you promise to stay here at Ellen's?"

Dean gulped at his beer.

"Yup. Sure thing…"

Sam raised an eyebrow at him.

"I swear Sammy! Holy Crap!"

Dean knew the house and bar well. He had a pretty good plan. He'd act cool and then, when nobody was paying attention, he'd dash out to Baby. The only flaw was that Cas seemed to be glued to him. Dean hadn't thought about the fact that Cas might have abandonment issues now too. In fact, Cas felt downright betrayed judging by the he looked at Dean. He could go ahead and feel that way then… Dean was doing this for him and for all the rest of his family… Blood or otherwise… Cas was smarter than Dean had given him credit. When he had finally felt like Cas was asleep, he had booked it to the Impala only to find Cas waiting there for him. The angel's eyes were fiery. Cas looked beyond betrayed. Dean wasn't sure what hit him at first, but then he heard the words in that deep, scratchy voice.

"I rebelled for _this_?!"

"Wha- are you crazy?!"

It wasn't calm how he was used to it. It was more of a blazing fire than a dying ember. Dean knew that Cas was wailing on him. All of his angelic strength was kicking Dean's ass, only Cas didn't stop. Dean was actually a little impressed.

"Cas!"

"So you could surrender to them!?"

"Cas, please!"

Dean grunted as the supernatural being threw him up against the Impala. Cas snarled. It was almost a whisper. Cas's face was so close the their noses were slotted together.

"I gave _everything _for you! This is what you give to me?!"

Just as fast as Cas had attacked him, the angel let go. Dean slid down the Impala, all bruised and bloodied. He could see one hard, trembling fist.

"Please, just do it!"

He groaned. Cas wouldn't look down at him at first, When he did, His eyes were old and sad. Cas leaned forward, practically asking Dean: "How could you do this to me?"

"Just do it…"

Dean felt a light brush of fingers, and he was out.

Sam and Bobby jumped as Castiel landed, supporting Dean's limp body.

"Holy crap…"

Bobby exclaimed eloquently.

"What the Hell happened to him?"

Cas's eyes were cold and he let Dean fall precariously to the couch

"Me."

He had, as the saying goes, 'lost his temper.' At least Dean was still here.

"Wow… I gotta give you credit for being able to kick his ass six ways to Sunday knocked up and everything."

Bobby nodded at him. Sam snorted. He had known Dean would run, and he had let Cas stop him. It was clear that he wasn't getting through to Dean, so maybe the angel could.

"He was going to surrender himself to Michael."

Castiel kept his gaze downcast as he sidled into the kitchen to make himself a PB&J… He needed some comfort food…

Dean groaned as he pushed himself up to his elbows.

"Uh… Word to the wise… Don't piss off the nerd angels…"

Cas had healed him, but he still felt the ache. That look on Cas's face had been one of downright disgust. He couldn't decide what was worse, the utterly betrayed holy being of the present or the empty broken thing from 2014.

"You deserve whatever he dished out ya idjit…"

Bobby shook his head at Dean in something akin to disappointment.

"Judging by the way Dean looks, he dished out the fiery wrath of heaven…"

Sam wrinkled his nose in not-sympathy. His brother was being an asshole. Cas was going to go into a depressive funk now. Thanks Dean. Jerk.

"Where is he…?"

Dean asked carefully. He glanced from Bobby to Sam and back to Bobby.

"Kitchen."

Bobby grumbled.

"Think he's in a mood."

Sam and Bobby didn't talk to him after that. Dean knew they blamed him and that they were angry. He would be angry too. Still if Cas was in a "mood," he was going to be the one who was expected to fix it. Super…

Cas was stuffing his face in the kitchen. He had used the last of the peanut butter, grape jelly, and bread. He had eaten all of the bagels too. He bit into his last PB & Js bitterly. It was emotional eating, not that he really knew the difference. He just knew that he wasn't actually hungry, but the desire for food had taken over due to emptiness and anger. His sandwich was shaking a little due to the unsteadiness of his hands. He could feel Dean moving closer to the kitchen. Dean was moving slowly. Castiel was thankful for that. His temper was still running a bit high. He did not want to hurt Dean, even if Dean deserved the treatment.

"Uh, Hey…"

Castiel did not respond in any way. Dean pouted his lip and tried again.

"Hey Cas…"

When Castiel looked at him, he saw Dean flinch just a little. It was good that Dean knew he was angry.

"I hope you do not plan on coming any closer Dean. I doubt I will be able to excersize temporence if you go much farther."

Dean haulted, not sure what to do. He was alarmed when Cas ghasped. His Blackbird's hand shot to his forehead and he hissed in pain. Dean reached out. As much as he wanted to touch the angel, he didn't.

"Cas! Are you ok?"

Cas was silent for a moment, staring at the floor with an unfathomable expression on his face.

"No..."

The angel mumbled truthfully.

"What's wrong?!"

Dean took a tentative step toward the pregnant Angel. Cas finally made eye contact with him. His blue eyes were wide in the midst of dawning comprehension.

"Something's happening..."

Cas spread his wings and took flight before Dean could say a word.

"Seriously?!"

Dean found himself bellowing into the otherwise empty kitchen. He just had to stay calm. and keep faith that Cas would come back. Those were two things he really happened to suck at.


End file.
